Tuesday, 25 December 2012

GM Cat's seasonal greetings


Hope you have a great holiday season, regardless of your denomination, and a happy new year! :) We're back with the quotes again next week. Meanwhile, you can say hello to us and GM Cat on Facebook, why don'tcha?

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

And now for a brief intermission

Our group this week unfortunately had to cancel at the last minute, due to the GM being unavailable. We still popped in to the store, however, because we had brought a cake to celebrate said GM's belated birthday, and, well, the cake had to be eaten.

While doing that, I eavesdropped a little on our friends on the next table over. Unfortunately, I didn't think to take my pad out sooner than I did, and as we didn't stay long, this is a very short post. Short but sweet crazy. Filing Cabinet Man was involved. He's a living filing cabinet with superpowers. 'Nuff said!

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

MY EVIL PLAN

Occasionally, things happen that makes us unable to play our regular scheduled game. For this session, we were one player short, which we didn't know beforehand, and as we were about to embark on a new adventure, we ended up playing a boardgame instead: Merchant of Venus, an updated version of a classic game about space exploration.


There was lots of setting up and trying to figure out how to play it, so we only managed about three or four rounds before we had to start packing it back away again and go home. We had fun, though, and there will be less prep time next time we play it.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

Does this mean we finished the adventure?

Halloween rave in Central Park, and we all went - we dressed up and everything, so Mulligan finally got to don his fishnet stockings. Such a proud moment.

Grigor, the Goth tattoo artist vampire wannabe who was in cahoots with the baddie, peddled drugs that would kill you, so we had to take him down. Moving through the crowd, we eventually came across the baddie himself.

As we came well-prepared with marbles, magic dust and shotguns, taking the baddie out wasn't as hard as we had expected. He tried to fade away, but was shot with dust-filled shotgun shells, and when Silver emptied a jar of dust over his head, he exploded. Hurrah!

And as the dust settled, pardon the pun, we had a meeting with a mysterious Miss Green in the bar, who invited us to join the anti pandimensional threat squad known as Delta Green. There's no money in it, but we're in it for the glory. Or, to tell the truth, because it's a plot point and otherwise we wouldn't have a game to play next week.

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Giving Doctor Who a nosebleed

This was sort of our sewer level, as we crawled around trying to find the source of a horrific scream, heard underneath the cellar in the wine shop. We didn't find anything. Nor anything in the crypt in the church nearby.

There was, however, deaths following an incident in a goth club ...

By a stroke of luck, Cully's old physics degree might actually have been useful for something - she could decipher some sort of weird ritual, which, if we actually use, might rip the Swiss cheese of time and space open and let out Cthulhu. Which we might not want to do.

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Oh ye of targeted plot

This week, we found us some hobos that Agent Mulligan equipped with cheap Wal-Mart pagers so they could get in touch easily. General Silver and Agent Cully put their heads together and made a sort of mystic powder, which they then filled bullet casings with - it's a weapon against the abominable diamond man!

We also explored the suspect's old haunts from the 1920s, out in Partridgeville.

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

No bodies, no problem

We contined our investimagations and the cameras we put up in the basement of the wine shop finally paid off. The weird monster tried to come in through a smoke cloud, but because of the ball bearings scattered all over the floor, it couldn't materialise. Fascinating.

As it happened, we then had to get out of there to find where the thing would materialise instead. As it turned out, a couple of nutters who wanted to become "vampires" were there with it. And they all disappeared, in a puff of smoke ...

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Don't mention the war!

Happy Halloween, what what! Our GM was out trick-or-treatin' with his mini-me yesterday, so we didn't have a session. However, there were a few more quotes left over from the road trip in September/October, so here's more of our stereotyping musings from the good countries of Germany, Netherlands and Belgium. Oh, and France.

This is basically just a post to have something to post this week, as opposed to not posting at all. We're back again next week.

Saturday, 27 October 2012

I chose a bad day to quit drinking

As the group was joined by a brand new player, it ended up mainly being a short-ish introductory session, as the character had to be created, and we were waiting for Mulligan to show up as well, as he had been stuck at work. We had in fact only just begun by having the Special Agents introducing themselves to the new character when he showed up.

General Ada Silver is a giant in comparison with Mulligan and Cully, and is our military liaison officer. All she has to do to intimidate people is to show up and tower over them.

Together, we went to Hobb's Court, the scene of the first murder, and where Hobb's Lane used to be in 1928. There were some shops there, and we had people to ask a few questions. Except not the guy in the wine shop, who had mysteriously run away ...

Friday, 19 October 2012

That's why they put the I in FBI

After a prolonged re-cap to get the two very special agents up to speed after the three-week gaming break, Mulligan and Cully actually found clues. And plot. And all sorts of things that meant we progressed a whole lot more than normally would be expected.

Cully's dice rolls were consistently awful, but on the other hand, she had had a big scare the night before. Still, as Mulligan's rolls were pretty good, we still made headway.

We found out that the hat had belonged to a doctor, who disappeared four months after the murder of a writer in 1928, whose corpse had similarities with the present day killings. The doctor's forwarding address shortly before going missing were close to where the first and fifth murder took place.

Might this be some sort of weird transcendental time travel, with a doctor possessed by a creature from another dimension? We don't really want to believe this one.

Thursday, 4 October 2012

Dude, where's our beer?

Okay, well, I couldn't quite stop myself to jot down a few comments, primarily mentioned while driving. Roadtrip!!

These are comments between Vianden in Belgium and Munich in Germany ... where we may have gone to the Oktoberfest. We'd post a review, if it was that kind of blog, but it isn't, so instead, some craziness. Mostly about our Germanic neighbours.

Read everything in a German accent, and you get the idea. In fact, you should have heard one of the tour guides at one of the castles visited. He spoke English in German. Sort of like Arnie, except with an even heavier accent. So read some of the comments in that accent for a giggle.

Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Chasing cubist killers with festive earrings!

We gave the diamonds back to the store from whence they came, because after a careful risk assessment, we decided they were safest there. As it happened, Mulligan also figured out reflective surfaces is what repels it. Round reflective surfaces. So, naturally, we donned round, reflective sunglasses (like John & Yoko, but with mirror effect glass) and bought a box of Christmas baubles. Well, it's almost Halloween, after all ...

Not-so-lucky for us, we also came face to face with the killer, looking a lot like something Picasso would paint if he was HP Lovecraft. And then he disappeared, the bastard. Perhaps just as well, because Cully very nearly lost her marbles in the process.

Next time, we're thinking shotguns. Lots and lots of them. It will kill it eventually, right? As long as we riddle it with bullets for long enough? Well, we can always douse it with liquid nitrogen first to slow it down, and then go flamethrower on its ass. Sounds like a plan!

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

This is not plagiarism, honest

Investimagations continued. Mulder Mulligan wanted to detain the three Goth vigilantes (that Cully shot a flare gun at last session) for way longer than the DA thought acceptable, while Cully was busy carvin' cadavers down in the morgue.

The victims were all killed in much the same way. There was a blue goo left behind in the wounds, which proved to be lethal when she subjected a lab mouse to it. Sadly, Cully's player can't really technobabble medical jargon, so the explanation to what's happening might soon be along the lines of "reversing the polarity of the ovid adrenal sphincter".

As the investigation progressed, the two FBI agents ended up in a jewellery store, and persuaded the shop owner to hand over three big diamonds ("only" worth $14M) for safe-keeping, in case the store would be burgled by invisible people with jaw-span of 1.5 metre that can chew through steel.

Oh, and the death count is currently at four. Might be five once an Arab Sheikh gets woken up by Agent Mulligan's phone call in the middle of the night, or when the killer realises that Agent Cully fits his/her/its M.O. to a tee. Help.

Friday, 14 September 2012

The Truth is Out There with scary monsters

We've now started the new groups, so it's just the three of us now, or at least for the time being. Delta Green is a Call of Cthulhu derivative, set in the modern day. We're currently in New York investigating some horrendous murders. When we started, a couple of young women had been murdered and drained of blood in NYC, and the case was so odd that they called in the FBI's most unwanted ...

As the premise of the game is so delightfully X-Filesy, we decided to completely run with this idea, and created two characters that may or may not look like this:


They're called - wait for it - Special Agents Tiger Mulligan and Sarah Cully. Because, you know, Mox Fulder would've been too obvious, and he couldn't just be called Fox. He did, however, do his degree in psychology at a university in Oxford and has worked in criminal profiling in the FBI. Oh, and his sister was abducted by aliens when he was 12.

S Cully is a trained medical doctor specialising in forensics, who did her undergraduate thesis in physics. (Something about Einstein?) She believes in science and the teachings of Cathol. In retrospect, the S should've stood for Samantha instead of Sarah, but never mind.

As there's just the three of us, with a moderately sane GM, the list of quotes won't be as long as other games, but they should still provide some entertainment value.

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

It's all gone a bit Laudanum

Here's a collection of quotes from our Victoriana game, played over a few weeks in July and August. The three players (one regrettably dropped out between character generation and the start of the game a couple of weeks later) were elves, and they woke up in a field somewhere in the English countryside, not far from a burning airship.

Robert Affette ("Bob") was naked, Cedric Ignatius Dashwood ("Cid") wore ill-fitting clothes (because they were Bob's), and no one dared touch Unlike's rags. No one remembered who they were, where they were or how they had got there, but the burning airship and dead parrot probably had something to do with it.

Trying to find civilisation, they came across an awkward lord, Ralph, and his shy Irish farmhand, Ted Doyle, who were discussing what to do about the pesky drainage in the lower field. The gang invited themselves to the lord's manor, where they got offered tea by Ted's missus, who insisted. A lot.

After some investimagating, it was decided to go and talk to a nearby vicar, who might have some clues, and so the vicar did. He recognised them as the paranormal investigators he had hired to suss out what the ghostly nun haunting grounds of the new-built rectory wanted. Poltergeist phenomena occurred, orbs went missing from crypts, churchwardens muttered, and the residents of the local manor house might or might not have murdered one of their maids.

And not once did anyone bat as much as an eyelid at the adventure being set at the most haunted house in England. Guess not everyone is as obsessed with Borley Rectory as myself. *cough* As I ran the game, there was less time to write things down, but I'm planning on transcribing the sessions in the next few weeks.

Sunday, 26 August 2012

I only ever wanted to be an engineer

This weekend was the next ChimeraCon, and the game I ended up playing in (and therefore could document) was using the first edition of Warhammer Fantasy Role-Play and set in Elizabethan London - or "the Smoke" as it was referred.

The party was a group of country bumpkins travelling to the big city, and ended up getting caught in a conflict between the Masons and the Templars, and a group of Psions who said King Arthur was returning.

He was, as it turned out, along with some of his friends. We got knighted by Mordred.

The game ran over all four sessions, but we only played in sessions one and four. Good way of staying alive, if you ask us!

Friday, 17 August 2012

Shaddap-ah you face!

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. We finished Shadowrun, then started creating characters for Victoriana, then I was away for the next session, and because I'm actually the one running the Victoriana game, I have less time to write down what people are saying - because I'm too busy GM:ing!

So, we might finish the adventure on Tuesday, and then I'll write a post with the quotes I've gathered from the game. Meanwhile, here's some more Shadowrun madness for you to enjoy!

In this bit, Dru the dwarf and Mr G the troll hire a hacker (Will) and some orc muscle (JDog), and try to convince them to help find an ugly elf who needs his head to still be attached. Oh, and experience the 'Shaddap-ah you face' pizza, courtesy of Mario at Pappardelli's.

Friday, 3 August 2012

That seemed to go better than normal

Because I, Chronicler of Quotes and Keeper of the Blog, has decided to bugger off to Sweden this week and couldn't attend the session (if there was one), I've prepared something like a TV chef. Here's one we made earlier!

To be precise, it's transcribed from our first real session of Shadowrun, and it introduces the four characters and their attempts to cross New York City and get hired for a job ...

Saturday, 21 July 2012

Exploding pizzerias - that's us!

So, we retreated to the hotel across the road and waited. A patrol bot decided to stop for pizza, so once it was inside the pizzeria, we blew it up. This set off the fire alarm in the hotel, so we had to evacuate.

Back in the lobby, where we had spent a previous few hours loitering with intent, JDog was advised he wouldn't be welcome back, even if he actually had enough money to stay there - and then some.

In a bid to get out of there, a story about how he was to smuggle a couple of star-crossed lovers (Dru and Mr G) out of the city so they could live happily ever after. Err, yeah.

Will, who was left as a look-out, got busted by the police and had to be towed after our getaway car by way of magic - he was floating up in the air. Sadly, he left his computer behind. Hopefully no one will be able to figure it out.

In the end, it was decided that we couldn't possibly get the job done in the required three days, so we phoned the client to say sorry, unless we're given a small army, it's a no go. So that's a shame - we didn't get any money ... and we didn't even get to Seattle.

Friday, 13 July 2012

Dynamite, I've missed you so

After Will hacked a frigde to get some information, and we had a big discussion about superheroes, we tried to come up with a Plan. The great plan, somehow, was to draw the Iron Jaws out of their territory, to neutral ground. This neutral ground was deemed to be the pizzeria we had visited previously.

At the pizzeria, we were going to order one pizza of each kind ... so that there would be nothing inconspicuous going on or something ... and then we'd blow the whole place up with the Iron Jaws inside and it made some kind of sense at the time.

We went to the pizzeria, ordered the pizzas, but when it was decided to start murderising Mario and his staff, Mr G knocked out half the party as well as the staff. Will then proceeded to slit the restaurant staff's throats with a pizza slicer, because he felt it was "appropriate". Dude, it's only "appropriate" if you're the Joker!

Friday, 6 July 2012

We don't need no coffee, let this building block explode

When we finally managed to get on-topic, we paid for the pizza and then headed over to a deserted building so that Will the human hacker could get started on tracking down the missing elf we're supposed to find. Meanwhile, Dru the eco-warrior dwarf checked up on her eBay bids in the background, and Mr G the troll mage/enforcer and JDog the orc gangster had a heart-to-heart. JDog learned to be worried about his new employer/partner-in-crime very quickly.

Unfortunately, we were caught by a team of Chinese-talking assassins, but we pulled the pin off a grenade and legged it. A survivor came after us (despite some great blending into a crowd we got up to), but he was quickly, ehh, liquidated. Or liquified? One of those.

Injured yet knowing where we had to go, we healed up and headed to an Internet café in Iron Jaw territory, where the target was last seen. He looks to have been taken captive by the Iron Jaws. We thought we were getting out of there okay but ... we might have been mistaken.

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Are you ready to sort some magical shit?

Since we finished the Call of Cthulhu game, we have had a session of character creation (very few quotes) and the session this past Tuesday was partly more character creation, and partially actually playing. To make up for lost time, we're throwing in a few lines from the last ChimeraCon as well.

In Shadowrun, the characters are an orc with muscles, a human hacker, a troll mage enforcer and an eco warrior dwarf. The troll and the dwarf were hired to find a guy who had gone missing. They, in turn, hired the other two ... and then had some pizza. Like you do.

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Ballooning with Portuguese Ninjas

Our investimagation took us back to the nutty professor, who gave us copies of the things he had given Abigail the night before - which was just as well. The navy lieutenant with the scary shadow was not the navy guy the paperwork was supposed to have gone to ... On the plus side, Brown got deputised, but it still didn't stop people from calling him "boy" even though he's 32.

Then we went down to the docks, stowed Hummingbird's darling balloon onto a ship, and sailed off to the islands off the coast of Spain, shown on the paperwork. Things would have been fantastic in the waters of Spain, if it wasn't for the fact that our characters were created for urban 19th Century London ...

The island we arrived at was something else. Hummingbird took Brown along in the balloon to do a bit of scouting. Fortunately, there was a more experienced balloonist there who could do most of the work. Hummingbird, we discovered, was 90% talk about how fabulous he is as a balloonist ... and only 10% actually skilled. It was quite possibly his very first time in the air.

Up at the manor, where Abigail had been suggested she go to find company better suited to a lady, everyone curiously had very familiar names. And meatcleavers, as it turned out. In the docks, Boaty enjoyed the local rum and was horrified at what the Spanish subject their omelettes to. (Potatoes? Who'd ever do such a thing?!) That was before all hell broke lose and he had to flee the scene, chased by a mob of flesh-eating maniacs.

Luckily, both party members were picked up in the balloon, which then developed a leak and, because of some brilliant dice rolls when they really needed to be brilliant, landed square on our ship. Sadly, there wasn't much left of the crew. Brown got taken over by evil smoke, Abigail fainted, and everyone jumped ship. Hummingbird made it to an island first ... and got his eyes ripped out by Brown, and then his head was turned a good 180. Boaty, seeing this from where he was swimming, mercy-shot Abigail and was about to kill himself when someone else did it for him.

50% dead and 50% have their souls taken over ... that's not that bad, is it? Well, this was the last session after all ...

Friday, 1 June 2012

Genghis Khan would've approved

After the first session's adventurous night, Brown and the Deadly Hummingbird went to get drunk. Someone challenged them to a fight, but as luck would have it, managed not to have Brown beaten up.

Meanwhile, Boaty investimagated the Tube tunnels and found someone at a distance who refused to run for help, as well as someone who was hurt or possibly dead. There was a hole in the wall too. All this was duly reported to other policemen to take care off while he went home for the night.

Miss Duckworth got home only to interrupt the oldest child telling the younger two a scary story. At a very strategic moment, involving thunder and lightning. Poor kids, lost sanity points and are now terrified of their governess. If only they knew their daddy was brutally murdered.

Troubled by nightmares, Brown finally woke up and got himself ready for some work at the Bath Manor, where Abigail found herself in charge of the household, as Lady Bath and the children were elsewhere, and Lord Bath ... well, he's the ex-Master. A handsome naval lieutenant (who was the right sort of jerk to make a spinster a good husband in them days) came to collect some things from Lord Bath, and Abigail gladly handed them over. Possibly not the best of ideas, considering he left his shadow behind. In proper Victorian fashion, fainting ensued.

Brown was polishing the bannisters when Boaty and Cecil came by to let the household know Lord Bath was no more. After they'd left, a corpse showed up at the door ...

Sunday, 27 May 2012

Arkham is FULL OF OWLS!

A year ago, pretty much on the dot, we played Sleepy Hollow: The Boardgame A Touch of Evil. As there were wishes to play Arkham Horror, a boardgame based on Call of Cthulhu, that's what we ended up doing instead of roleplaying.


We would not recommend having seven players, four of which had never played the game before, because it takes forever and you don't get very far. If anyone wants to know what the game is like, it's Talisman meets A Touch of Evil. If you've never played either of those, that's a lot of time saved, and well done to you for not having been sucked in. ;)

Friday, 18 May 2012

I’m Nyarlathotep and so is my dog!

When you begin an adventure, you first have to create characters, which it took us a little time to do, so there's not a whole lot of text this week, but chances are, there will be plenty more next week. These characters are tremendously quotable, as it turns out. Populating Victorian London and trying to investigate the occult, in alphabetical order:

  • Abigail Duckworth: Confirmed spinster (she's 24) and governess to the three children of Lord Bath.
  • Harold "Boaty" Boatman: Chain-smoking police officer who would rather retire, but the Victorians didn't retire, they worked until they died. Which might be sooner than expected!
  • Hubert "the Deadly Hummingbird" Smythe: Renowned moustachioed strongman and keen balloonist, except his balloon is currently held by the police.
  • Michael Brown: Handyman who gets accosted by anything from small children to scary monsters, and who'd rather they left him alone. The only one yet who's lost Sanity points ...

The story begins in London 1891, the first tube line has just been opened, and we've all ended up at a party to celebrate this momentous occasion. There's a buffet and everyone's having a jolly good time, even if one of Lord Bath's children try to force-feed a handyman peanuts and oysters, and another keeps being called "Kiwi" by a strongman.

Lord Bath leaves the party early, only to be found in the Underground station a while later with his throat ripped out, which the men of the party discover, much to their horror.

Back at the party, the lights go out, and a lieutenant asks the governess to meet with an eccentric professor to pick some things up on behalf of her employer ... although she has no idea her employer is no longer alive.

Let the investimagation commence!

Friday, 11 May 2012

I could explain it, but I choose not to

Well, sometimes things happen. There's no need to go into details, really. We thought we were going to continue Changeling, but the GM had to leave the group ... so we're obviously not doing that game anymore. We'll have to leave Alysiana, Finn, Flora, Jack and Set to their own devices for the forseeable future. Sad, but that's how it is. On the positive side, we're happy to report the GM in question now the proud father of a fresh squeezed baby daughter, so our congratulations! :)

But, the GM announcing he was leaving put a damper on things, and it means that the quotes from the session last week ... weren't that many. Although I really need to check the recording because Justin Bieber tweet fortune cookies causing black holes is a pretty funny concept.

Friday, 4 May 2012

Don't mess with Jerry's Revenge

These are the quotes from the first session's Syzygy game, at session one of ChimeraCon 7 - a 24 hour roleplaying event at Chimera in Beeston - dated 10 March 2012. This is one of those posts we've had tucked away for a rainy day. Anyway:

In this Syzygy session, we were on a Jupiter-sized planet, trying to break into a big skyscraper kind of building, to steal something from the basement. When we weren't doing that, we were cutting up security guards in dustbins, trying to infiltrate sex parties by carrying backpacks full of dildos, implanting chips into someone's ballsack ... then removing the chip and putting in a coin instead ... and then cutting out the coin ... and the GM was astonished at the level of madness displayed in the first session.

We then got attacked by a super soldier programme gone wrong (wow, big surprise there) which turned people into plasma-resistant acid hug zombies, and we had to try fleeing from the planet, with or without the guy who hired us to do the job in the first place.

Oh, and then there's Jerry. There's always Jerry.

Friday, 27 April 2012

We should have our own TV show, we’re so badass

After a lengthy and very serious and utterly brainy discussion about matters of life, the universe and everything, we finally managed to get started with the game ...

Finn and Set have captured a semi-conscious bad guy who fell off a building, handcuff him (with pink, fluffy handcuffs) to Jack's limo and then move on to checking out the contents of the minibar. And so the beertini was invented. Good thing Flora keeps a steady supply of hangover-curing potions ...

Alysiana promised, on behalf of the party, that no one in the car would hurt the prisoner, which later led to a big discussion about whether or not the rest of the party was held to that ... as they hadn't actually sworn anything.

Back at Wollaton Hall, Jack decided to build a guillotine to execute the prisoner, who, after all, had broken a number of Changeling laws. And then he went to bed. The rest of the party had already decided to head off, as they were squeamish about the whole thing. Because of the oath, though, no one could hurt the man, so it was decided to leave his execution until the morning. To make him

Set volunteered to watch over the prisoner, being handcuffed to him, and eventually passed out from lack of sleep ... once he had knocked the prisoner to sleep, as he wouldn't stop screaming because of the cold iron tied to him. We sure know how to treat guests here in Nottingham!

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Roll Death and Athletics, shagging Satan is bestiality

In a session that took us through the sewers and eventually ending up in the Dreaming version of Victorian London, where a group of cartoonists with a funny accent chased after some people purely because of their religion ... Set rescued people from a burning building, which ... was burning in real life. And then he chased after an assassin over the rooftops. Very heroic.

Meanwhile, Finn was trying to talk himself into being un-squired by Jack, and instead ... ended up getting knighted. So that ... panned out? He's making an impressively swift ascend up that career ladder, that's for sure.

The rest of us got to spend some pent up XP, Flora became a Saint, and half the party stood around in the sewers while Sir Finn set off after Sir Set - it was dangerous footing. At least until he decided to make use of the only element he hadn't tried so far - Air - and flapped about to actually fly to a portal.

We're a very heroic party, obviously. Especially when we get hooked on discussing male genitalia for an extended period of time. Most of which hasn't made it into writing. ... Most of. (Just imagine what the actual session was like in real life!)

Friday, 13 April 2012

Dr T & Mr Dre: Narcoleptic Assassins

Awesome as ever, we had taken down an assassin. Still, that wasn't enough of an adventure, so we ended up going to a coffee bar, where plot hid behind the wall. Or, rather, an opening into the sewers, which eventually took us back to the Goblin Market.

There, we met with the Labyrinth potion seller and its granny, and Jack even managed to exchange a few words with a dwarf he once didn't try haggling with. And then the naive kid - Jack, that is - invited a bunch of seelie Fae to set up shop on his lawn at Wollaton Hall. Great move, we don't think.

One that does have great moves is Alysiana, who's currently pretending not to know us. She normally does that, but now it's with an actual purpose. To find clues! Are we any closer to finding any, though? That is the question. We're too busy inventing new concepts for roleplaying villains ...

Friday, 6 April 2012

Similar to a comrade motion picture, maternal fornicator!

We're caught in politics about who's to rule Nottingham, and if that wasn't all, the potion administered to the princess had echoes of Dark Fae, so even though she seems to feel better, she now has a Something Something Something Dark Side to her. Hmm. How do we fix that?

Actually, we need to put that one on hold because there's a wedding that needs planning - Finn's!! - and someone needs to become the Count of Nottingham, and as Jack's a baron, we went along with him to a big meeting of all the local barons.

There, we found Jack's uncle - who doesn't have one set of eyebrows, but two; the second pair look like a pair of caterpillars on his forehead and we suspect they are a separate species of Fae entirely - and Jack's uncle told us some rather interesting things about Jack's parents and why they were in Borneo. Apparently, there were assassins after them. Good to know! Moments later, an assassin crept up on us, trying to take out said uncle. We saved the day, of course, even though the assassin had a scary iron knife. We may or may not (emphasis on the latter) let him live.

Saturday, 31 March 2012

Soaking carpets in the Nottingham Chainsaw Massacre

We're back in the weird and wonderful ways of Changeling: The Dreaming again, and we left off with an Epic Cliffhanger of DOOOOOOM, in which our friend Count Valdemar was held at knifepoint in his own home. Well, it didn't exactly pan out. He got his throat cut after all, and even though Flora tried to save him, she couldn't stop the bleeding.

On the plus side, the rest of the party brought down all the bad guys, so yay for us! Jack then found some papers, while Alysiana sneaked off to administer one of the super-mega-deluxe healing potions to the princess, with Finn and Flora a couple of minutes behind. Potion administered, the princess ... well, we've yet to find out, actually.

Needless to say, Set is awesome - even chainsaws can't bring him down! Now all we have to do is to not get caught in the middle of a number of Fae nobles who want to rule Nottingham. Or get arrested for the bloodbath that is currently Count Valdemar's residence. Maybe there's an old lady somewhere we can pin it on?

Sunday, 25 March 2012

Dude, where's my app?

Last week, we procrastinated. This week, we met an old, blind bloke who seemed to be on eerily good terms with the genestealers. He got what was coming to him - as did the Judge. Sneaky bastard. One of them was split in twain by a large sword, which made us all feel a lot better.

Eventually, after slaughtering a number of the Xenos scum (in their sleep, badass bonus points for us) we found our way to a couple of rooms - one, a greenhouse, the other, a walk-in freezer. Something managed to escape the greenhouse. The patriarch genestealer in the walk-in freezer ... is no more.

And as we went back up to the surface again, Brother Drem'Tu started to fix the ship Gyos crash landed last week. While this was going on, the magnetic storm had lifted and we could finally communicate with our superiors. After we had done that, this part of the adventure was concluded, so we have a few weeks break from Deathwatch now, and will get back to where we left Changeling on Tuesday.

Thursday, 15 March 2012

These boots were made for stompin'

When we're one player down and face certain death, there is a coping mechanism we tend to employ in the group. It's called "procrastinating until Death goes away". We've done it in Deadlands before, and now ... we just ended up talking all manner of bollocks just for our own amusement. All the while, of course, aware that the more we stall, the less chance there is of us getting killed in that particular session.

It very nearly failed to work, when the GM threw a bunch of genestealers on us. Nasty critters, they are. They pack a savage punch, and we took damage. Had it not been for a few strategically used Fate points, there would have been more body parts missing than just an eye. Or, as it turned out, having your leg very nearly shot off.

Before going into the next Xenos-battling, however, someone said that would be a good place to leave it, so that the missing player wouldn't miss out on as much. The other players quickly agreed, as did the GM. So now, battered and bleeding, we go into the next combat with a full squad.

Sunday, 11 March 2012

I had an Eldar and I eated it

Not a lot of quotes for this session, because we got started quite late, and then we spent a lot of time clobbering orcs over the head. And clobbering orcs doesn't give a lot of time over for other things. We were rather successful in the clobbering, however. Because we're awesome Space Marines, blessed by the Emperor. Obviously.

Oh, and one of them turned out to be an Eldar. We brought him back to the base and interrogated him. He didn't last long, but that really wasn't our fault. After all, he shouldn't have been a Xenos heretic in the first place.

Sunday, 4 March 2012

There's disciplin, and then there's DISCIPLIN

After a most epic battle which ended with us saving the Dreadnought (who had a convenient bit of amnesia, go fig), we continued through the desert, finding where someone had been spying on us. Then we went to the town where the Governor was supposed to have showed up if he hadn't got lost somewhere along the way.

Eventually, we found ourselves at the Rift, in a camp with a commander more than happy to execute his information officers. (Hence the mop and bucket. You'll see.) We also managed to recruit a poor young lad into the Imperial Guards. We'll see how that pans out. He might forgive us eventually. Maybe.

Friday, 24 February 2012

The Emperor willing, Space Marines are go!

After last week's character gen, we finally got going with the adventure. Here's how it begun ...

Inquistor Valek to Commander Urien: Regarding my investigations on Ixion V. As you know, the dissapearance of Lord Midel has been most troubling. I have found out that [Comments Redacted] as you can see, the situation is most troubling. I am requesting your assisstance in this matter. As you are responsible for this sector, I defer to your experience, but would suggest that the situation may need more support.
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Commander Urien to Inquitor Valek: I will see to it. Inform me of what you need. Praise the Emperor.
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Inquistor Valek to Commander Urien: Praise the Emperor indeed. I need a team of marines. Quickly. Due to the anaomlies around Ixion V, I may not be able to communicate again soon. And Things have gotten worse since my last post. I have reviewed a list of names of battle-brothers I think would be suitable.
+++++
Commander Urien to Inquistor Valek: These Astartes are very specific. I hope to the Emperor that you know what you are doing, Valek.
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Inquistor Valek to Commander Urien: Time is wasting Urien! I need those brothers. If you can see why I picked them, then you should know to send them! I'm proceeding to [Message terminated]
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Commander Urien to Inqusitor Valek: Do Not Presume to Speak to Me That Way, Inquistor. I will Send Them When I deem it fit
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Commander Urien to Inqusitor Valek: Valek?
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Commander Urien to Inqusitor Valek: I am Dispatching the Brothers

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Because stereotyping Japan is FUNNY

Umm yeah, so totally forgot to mention that last session was character gen of Deathwatch and didn't get funnier than:

"When I said 'do Valentinesy things before Blood for the Blood God', I didn't mean 'imagine Dr. Doom on Chat Roulette'."

and

"There's a MASSIVE difference between being AFRAID of the colour yellow and getting TURNED ON by the colour yellow."

and that doesn't go very far. We do, however, have a few previously unreleased quotes kicking about, which we were saving for a rainy day, and that might as well be right now. So, from 14 June 2011's Changeling: The Dreaming roleplaying session at Chimera, we give you Pantry: The Carnage:

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Feed the crocodiles, tuppence a Rog

So, Jack and Finn went after a merchant who had Jack's father's sword. Apparently, he had won it in a card game, off some bloke. Instead of persuading the man to part with the sword with Diplomacy, Jack stole the sword while Finn distracted the crowd with an impromptu guitar performance, and they both legged it. How are they ever going to find the bloke who lost the sword in that game?

Meanwhile, the rest of the group made it through the swamp and to the ferry ... which was already too far out in the water to catch. Our dear (?) friend (?!) Chinface the Redcap was there ... and ended up feeding some crocodiles because Set kicked his proverbial peaches. Flora made sure to loot the body (or what was left of it) for the potion bottle, so they'd have one spare, just in case.

Finn and Jack were without a guide in the swamp and had to fight a crocodile that very nearly got them. In the end, by using a couple of swords, they dispatched it. Finn decided to use swords more in the future, even though he inadvertently became a Squire by accepting the sword Jack gave him. The only Knight he can be a Squire to is Set. We'll see how that pans out ...

Finally, the potion-bearers reached the Count's Freehold, where the doors were wide open. Unusual. Redcaps were present. Set and Hugo (with Flora at a safe distance behind) went inside, only to find most of the Count's court in pieces - Ogres with chainsaws generally have that effect on people - and the Count himself at the tip of a sword, courtesy of Vinnie the Rog ... and that was the end! We will not abide being left on such a cliffhanger, so the GM has got orders to write us some more adventure to get closure.

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

A little bit of sick, a little bit of Slick

The swamp turned out not to be such a big deal after all. Us players were the biggest challenge. To begin, we had a big discussion as to the name of the guy from CSI: New York - not Kevin Bacon but in fact Gary Sinise, whether or not The Stand was a film or a TV series and when it was from ... and then it turned into a discussion who Gary Busey is, what he's been in, and in particular, who was in Leathal Weapon, and so on. Hence why we decided in the end that next time we're trying to think of an actor, we'll say it's Kevin Bacon and leave it at that, or we're stuck for at least half an hour before someone has the idea to use the IMDb app on their phone ...

At the same time, it was decided  that any film we also couldn't think of would be Care Bears, meaning that later on, when the question accompanying a banjo tune, was "aww, what's the film called?!" the answer was Care Bears rather than Deliverance ... and we imagined a hybrid of the two ... we completely lost it and roared with laughter for five minutes.

(You had to be there.)

In-game, we found the town of Blacktree, mainly because the GM thought better of leaving us in the swamp, what with the inbred Care Bears and the ghost of Slick roaming around below the surface, and said we reached the place in a very quick time. Huzzah! We obtained a sample of the eponymous black tree through the cunning use of squirrel, and then discovered the master healing potion maker was in fact a witch. (You should have seen the look on Set's face when the GM told him the witch was an old woman ... Priceless!)

While Jack's negotations with her didn't seem to help all that much in getting her to co-operate, Hugo's 20 gold dross quickly won her over. Flora got to see the potion being made, took notes, and is considering spending a working holiday there. After the potion was finished, we got the bottle and started heading back to Nottingham as quick as we could. As Jack saw a merchant with his missing father's sword in the crowd, he decided to chase after him, with Finn in tow, while Alysiana, Set, Flora and the bottle - and some NPCs - started in the direction of home. Quickly.

Sunday, 29 January 2012

What shall we do with the drunken Sidhe?

After being assaulted by Rat Boy (again), Finn locked himself in a cupboard and completely missed Alysiana in the nude. Jack and the GM were sitting next to each other talking plot, which the rest of us didn't catch, but we were happy bunnies anyway, because even though Finn crushed his precious eggplant, perhaps Flora could restore it.

Jack decided to have turned twelve recently, which means the party in his honour was in fact his birthday party. He's now a Wilder rather than a Childling, and it has caused him to stop drinking, much to Finn's dismay. On the plus side, we entered the Dreaming, where Alysiana got very drunk on chimeric ale. Meanwhile, Flora tried her hand at drug-pushing, with Set conveniently being somewhere else entirely, being useful.

And then we tried to charter a ferry across a river, even though we didn't think to ask until afterwards if it would be big enough to take Set, seeing as he's, y'know, an enormous Troll. We left off on the shore, by a big swamp, having just been dropped off from the boat. Here's the journey up until then ...

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Your recent Glamazon order has been dispatched, with a gun!

Our friend, Count Valdemar, decided to offer the princess and half of his kingdom (so to speak) to the person who can successfully find a cure for the lady in question. This appealed to the whole group, for various reasons. Flora for a chance to shine over the discovery, but as she wouldn't want to marry the Count's daughter and become a Baron, she suggested Finn marry her and Jack take the estates. The other alternative was Alysiana, who would happily take both the girl and the estates. Set was happy just to be on a quest again, bless him.

Finn won the drinking game we were about to embark on at the end of last session, and we decided to forego resting after the party and instead go have a look at the Goblin Market again, because it went so well the first time. Set got to loom over an old lady - without even hitting her (I KNOW, RIGHT?!!) - and after bargaining with a Pookah (bad idea, or, if you're a Pookah, the bestest idea ever) and Finn avoiding the overly friendly Rat Boy, we finally ended up crashing back at Alysiana's. Finn soon found himself in bed with someone far different than a beautiful woman ...

This is what we got after starting the session uncharacteristically late. If only we had started earlier, we could've set a new record. Aww.