Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Tearing monsters a new bottom

Last time, we got to a field past a sugarcane field and there was shooting. Murphy was down to three injuries, Sutcliffe was still injured from previous sessions and the "unlucky" Hatch somehow didn't have a scratch on him ... which is more than can be said for the NPCs.

We continued the firefight - this time aided by the Bayou Ranpan, a.k.a. the big, scary, invisible monster. Somehow (read: open-ending dice rolls by lots at the right time) we took it down. And then we took the last minion down, while Father Etienne beheaded the other remaining baddie.

And then we saved the lady, only to find she hadn't just lost her brother, but indeed her entire family had been tortured and then butchered by the same guys we had just "taken care of" (read: dumped their bodies in the Bayou). Sadface. At least we got to steal the baddies' remaining truck so we didn't have to take the train back to New Orleans.

We returned the dame to Fat Dan in his Absinthe House, got our $100 bar tab (and free drinks to celebrate!), slept soundly and then went to cash in our $200 reward with the guy at Hexaco, seeing as how we had removed his problem from the swamp and had the exoskeleton to prove it. Thanks to a very open-eneded dice roll, Hatch made sure he couldn't screw us out of the reward money and got it in writing.

So now we're RICH! And also alive. That was unexpected.

Courtesy of Wednesday 5 June 2013's Deadlands Noir adventure at Chimera.


GM: “You can roll, as M’s unwrapping chocolate.”
M: “Five.”
GM: “Or M can roll.”

“You’re very pretty. Can I rub up against you.”
“You HAD to make it creepy, didn’t you?!”

“I’ve got my running away shoes on.”

GM (of another table): “One of you are gonna die tonight.”

GM: “You didn’t get ME anything.”
Player 1: “I only had £2.”
Player 2 (to P1): “Besides, he shot your character last week. Show no mercy!”

Player 1: “The guy with the Tommy gun died last week.”
GM: “No, he didn’t. He was bloodied and had two wounds.”
Player 1: “Party vote!” (All three players vote in favour of Tommy Gun Guy having died.) “See? He died. You didn’t write it down because we’d remember.”
Player 2: “And the Tommy gun fell from his hands and rolled over here.”
Player 3: “No, I don’t think so.”
Player 2: “Did I stretch it too far?”

“He tears the minion a new bottom.”
“I don’t think it stops there.”
“It’s a big bottom.”

(On not having to re-roll Guts because we’ve already met the Bayou Ranpan)
“It’s the same monster we encountered before. You can tell by the entrails.”
“There’s a liver over there by that snake.”

Player 1: “We should have party chips.”
Player 2: “We totally should! Let’s vote!” (Players vote unanimously to get party chips.) “GM, we’re getting party chips.”
GM: “You’re confusing this with a democracy.”

GM: “He looks hurt.”
Player: “Not hurt enough!”

“Aww, bucket of paint as a weapon.”

“Oh no! We’ve broken the fourth wall again! Somebody get a mason!”

“We’ve got 99 problems and … the bar bill is another one.”

Hatch: “My hands are shaking. Because I was SUCH a good shot before.”

“Speed chanting for the win.”

GM: “You have a Minor Phobia of sugar and sweet things.”
Player: “If only that were real.”

“He’s coming for us, you know.”
“I thought he might.”

“Monster doesn’t get a card – that means he’s definitely dead!”

Father Etienne: “He had become unstable and needed to be put down.”
Sutcliffe: “I have the scars to prove it!”

GM: “Is there anything else you’re doing before you leave?”
Player 1: “LOOT THE BODIES!”
Player 2: “The Tommy gun!”

“He kept his boots on.”
“It’s about the only thing that’s left of him.”

Sutcliffe: “In the meantime …”
Murphy: “We loot the house?”
Sutcliffe: “No, that would be awkward. (Reconsiders) Unless Rose goes with Hatch …”

Sutcliffe: “If you crash the truck and burn this tobacco, I’m gonna be VERY ANGRY.”

“Why are they still alive? I sent 12 guys to kill them.”

“I think we got away with it … He said. Gingerly.”

The next session or two, we're doing something else as we're one player down, and then we'll start Delta Green again.

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