Every evil wizard has to start somewhere

Welcome to Rifts! It's 11 March 104 PA and a roleplaying party has been hired to babysit Marcus the Mage while he gets his shizzle together for some kind of spell around the Solstice time. There are bug-like creatures trying to kill him, and down with that sort of thing.

The problem is, once we got there and started digging into things, we came to realise maybe he wasn't such a good guy after all, and maybe, just maybe, the world would be better off without him - except then we wouldn't get paid, so there is that. We got him to sign a contract saying that if he locked himself inside his den (where we weren't allowed) and got killed, we'd still get paid, so we might be able to find a way around that ...

Well, if the bugs don't get us first.

  • Booker Dayes, Gunslinger
  • Gorbash, Dragon
  • Michael Baradhi, Ley Walker
  • Sir Jayson Oakwood, Cyber-Knight

Courtesy of Wednesday 25 September 2013's Rifts roleplaying session at Chimera.

“I’ll be a short to medium range fighter.”
“Can we convince you to be a long range combatant?”

“Do you want to be addicted to drugs?”
“That’s a valid question, actually.”

“I can do surgery, a.k.a. torture.”

“… Or with a high enough Power, you could turn a vampire into a lawn chair.”

“I just realised why you laughed at that. YOU SICK MAN.”

“Did you mean ‘small children can choke on nuts’? It’s a bit … Vaticanised …”

“He’s recently come into a lot of money and is being chased by demons. I wonder if the two are connected.”

Baradhi (trying to blend in): “Hey dudes, we jivin’ and stuff. In yo hood.”

Gorbash: “There’s no need to try and intimidate me. I could’ve eaten you.”

Booker: “I cleared the tower 50ft no problem. It wasn’t my fault the wall moved.”

RIPD is basically Men in Black with dead people.”

“I’ll talk to the hand.”
“Because the face ain’t listening?”

“I’ll be back in 15 minutes.”
“Every time he goes away, something bad happens.”

GM: “‘A really big, pointy hokus-pokus thing’? I like your Lore: Magic.”

“Every evil wizard has to start somewhere.”

“What’s wrong with you?!”
“Nothing, I’m perfectly well-adjusted.”

Mage: “Helloooo?”
Baradhi: “We’re just up here!”
Booker: “Staff meeting!”

“You’ve seen my drawing skills.”
“He hasn’t.”
“It would make you feel better. It would make a three-year-old feel better.”

NPC: “I saw a letter on his desk with the initials RA at the end.”
Player (hopeful): “Richard Armitage?”

Gorbash: “You, wake up.”
Booker (waking up): “I don’t want to wear a dress.”

Booker: “I lasso one of the dragon’s horns.”
Baradhi: “Do you not like your eyebrows?”

Player 1: “So it’s nothing magical, they’re just so black when they’re in the shadows they’re practically invisible.”
Player 2 (on another table): “DUDE! You can’t SAY things like that!”

Jayson (realising his stats): “I’m starting to feel slightly over-powered.”

“Roll 18!”
“How can I roll 18 on 2d6?”

“Okay, Horny.”
“See? Nicknames work.”

Booker: “Would the bug like to take 78 mega-damage?”
GM: “No, it wouldn’t!”

“I’m gonna set that thing loose and hope 2d4 rounds is long enough to get out of there.”

“How many people do you know who have repelled off a dragon’s horn?”

“First politics, now ethics. Roleplaying, eh? It’s too deep.”

“Bring back Changeling. It was just about getting drunk and taking drugs.”
“And occasionally brainalysing old women.”

And so the plot thickens ... just like the goo those shadowy creatures left behind ...