Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Introducing the Duffel Bag of Destruction!

We didn't get very far in this session, to be perfectly honest. We plotted what we were going to do when meeting the guy Phage had lured to a café. Ugrub waited by the back door while Phage and Dru kept look-out by the front window, posing as coffee-drinkers. The job of talking to the guy fell on Teddy.

The guy was convinced defecting was a good idea, and Teddy suggested he go home and pack and be ready to leave home with his wife and family in about three hours. Basically, so that his current employer wouldn't find out and do something bad to him.

Shorty after the guy left, some guy in the booth next to where Teddy had been sitting also left, so we all went to red alert. Then Teddy mind-controlled the guy, who started shooting into a parked van on the other side of the street, and the rest of the session was taken up with that combat.

Courtesy of Wednesday 12 March 2014's 5th Ed Shadowrun adventure at Chimera.


“I’ll move gingerbread to my Swedish food whitelist. It’s a very short list.”

“Firewall 1.”
“As a programmer, I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Oh, cakes are fine.”
“You’ve gone wildcard cakes for the whitelist.”

Dru (about Phage): “Do you think she likes pizza?”
Player: “Let’s not go there.”

“If Ugrub was called Sugrub, our initials would be P.T.S.D.”

GM: “As a group, I think you have pretty high Sleaze.”

“Is this where I go ‘you can never spend too much time with cats’?” (manic look)

Teddy: “I’m using my Disguise skill to make myself look more Thai.”
Phage: “All I can picture is you taping your eyes.”

“I would say my character doesn’t swing that way, but it all depends on how your Disguise roll goes.”

Swede 1: “The Swedish Candy Exchange.”
Swede 2: “Salty liquorice is very addictive.”
Swede 1: “It totally IS, though!”

“Elves are very flamboyant.”
“That’s another good way of saying they’re gay.”

Phage: “Are you wearing makeup, Teddy?”
Dru: “Why is there a piece of tape on your face?”

“I’m doing a roleplaying scenario inside a roleplaying game. MIND. BLOWN.”

Ugrub: “Maybe in a big sports bag.”
Player: “That’s now your trope. This makes it the second character of yours with a big sports bag. It’s your trope. Mine’s drug-dealing children.”

“Is it more of a suitcase?”
“No, travel bag.”

“That’s why it goes into my Duffel Bag of Destruction.”

“How many hockey teams do you know that use grenade launchers?”

“You let Baradhi have a grenade launcher and he’s not letting you have one in HIS game.”

Ugrub: “I’m not going to let a hacker I hardly know hack my eyes!”
Phage: “I wouldn’t just hack your eyes.”

“How did you know I have a crotch cannon?”

“We haven’t thought of Contingency Plan C.”

“Where should Dru come from originally?”
“Alabama. You’ll have to change accent.”
“Alabama, Germany?”

“We’ll have to spend a little bit of time together … probably in a bathroom …”
“Score!”

“I want my hair like in animé!”
“You’re kind of hobo crossed with prostitute.”

“I’m holding a sign saying ‘need money, ninjas stole my stuff’.”

GM: “Time for dice!”
Player: “Let’s see how badly this goes.”

Teddy: “We’ll send someone to get you at 11 o’clock.”
Phage: “You mean me and my car.”

GM: “He’s surprised. You were very stealthy. For an orc. In pigtails.”

“I feel like I’m being evil here, somehow.”
“There’s no question about it, you ARE being evil.”

GM: “It’s quite dark.”
Ugrub: “No, it isn’t.”
GM (agrees): “Not for an orc with cyber eyes.”

GM: “You do what most drivers do in Nottingham: pull out in front of traffic.”

GM: “He’s just shot a van full of innocent people.”
Player: “OH NO, HE SHOT THE SCOOBY GANG!”

Teddy: “You don’t know to be scared yet.”
Ugrub: “I will be when you tell me what you did.”

“There’s a flash and a bang and then body parts.”
“I’ve got those as well.”

GM: “He shoots again.”
Teddy: “That’s my guy!”

“My question is now, why did I leave my grenade launcher at home?”

“Why do I feel like I’m mind-controlling the wrong guy?”

“I don’t know where these guys are. I wasn’t planning on shooting them to death.”

“I think we’ve established the salsa effect is our best hope for peace.”

“And what have we learned here? Don’t fight sitting inside a car.”

“Surely there are no lady boys from Thailand practicing magic in Seattle, so there is nothing for UCAS special magic department to see here. Please move along.”

After the session, when talking about it, we realised that we'd done combat wrong, so the GM is going to re-check the dice rolls for next week, or we'll have to do it again - only this time, it shouldn't take a good couple of hours. We thought the guys in the van were surprisingly durable ...

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