Wednesday, 23 April 2014

You can't make a Heroic Molotov without breaking a few eggs

We did what any normal roleplaying group would do: we brought the big stone eggs together at Trevor's, because there was one in Trevor's basement and one disguised as a book box at Tilly's. Bringing eggs together made them smash, and green goo went all over the place.

Zolistagol and Eddie quickly went to clean themselves off, but Tilly was fascinated by the gunk moving ... especially as it was actually moving OFF her. The goo went down on the floor and came together in a great Terminator impression. It became a baby hook tentacle monster that was almost sort of cute.

We did what any normal roleplaying group would do: KILL IT BEFORE IT KILLS US. Most of the party didn't seem too concerned about being baby-killers, except for Tilly who wasn't convinced we should have killed the thing in the first place.

It turned out there were a few eggs over at Eddie's as well, and that his old pal Dave was a tentacle monster. The cinnamon-smelling ganja smoke that filled up Eddie's living room had the unfortunate side effect of impregnating him ... with one of those stone eggs. The weird writing we had seen on the walls was actually a warning to stay away because 'ere be an incubator.

Dave was later shot and killed, which wasn't part of the plan, but at least we didn't do it.

Courtesy of Wednesday 16 April 2014's Hunter: The Reckoning roleplaying session at Chimera.


“I wouldn’t be surprised if Trevor owns a WALK-IN safe.”

GM: “You won’t need to roll, you notice it straight away.”
Player: “That is not very reassuring.”

Trevor: “I don’t have a safe to put it in.”
Zolistagol: “YOU don’t have a safe?!”

“It’s funny how there are eggs, because it’s Easter.”
“Is there a chick inside? Does it turn into chocolate?”

GM: “Bald Russian: check.”

Zolistagol: “I probably stink of vodka, so no change there.”

Player: “It looks a little bit like a Cthulhu plushie, all cute.”
GM: “To be honest, it’s not too far off.”

GM (writes): “Killed baby.”
Player: “Do we get XP for that?”

GM: “WOAH! Tilly’s BLACK?!”
Rest of the group: “Yes?”

“I don’t care what it’s called in the book. Heroic Molotov sounds better.”

“You might want to step back a bit because you don’t hear this.”

Eddie: “You know the judge’s house? The mansion/castle that almost has a moat?”

Trevor: “I don’t care if you kill supernatural things, if you call me ‘Trevi’ again, there WILL be consequences.”

Eddie: “With 2 Occult, have I read HP Lovecraft?”
Player: “You can READ?!”
Eddie: “I won’t admit to it!”

Tilly: “If I have roots in the Caribbean originally, do I have some kind of resistance to cannabis smoke?”
GM: “I like the way you think, but no. You could have got away with it if you had said Jamaican, because I might have allowed it.”
(Hey, while it’s a stupid thing to ask someone in real life, it’s a perfectly valid question about a fictional character in a roleplaying game when they’re faced with baby-making ganja!)

“We may have invented Casual Racism Wednesday.”

“How many monsters am I holding up?”

Player 1: “Do you remember what the gunk smelled like?”
Player 2: “Cinnamon.”
Player 3: “AAAARGHHH, THEY’RE SWEDISH!! Swedish monsters!”
Swede: “I thought they looked familiar.”

“That’s not so funny anymore, but it’s still slightly amusing.”

Eddie: “So what you’re saying is, alcohol is a health drink.”
Zolistagol: “I’ve been saying that for years!”

“See? Vodka cures everything.”

“We’ve got two problems.”
“Three. We’re out of vodka.”

Zolistagol: “If he’s left the country, let’s go break into his house!”
Eddie: “You really ARE my kind of man!”

“And you call ME racist.”
“This is science. Science can’t be racist.”

Trevor: “Lots of people have more than one car!”
Eddie: “Yes, but FIVE?”

“I like Dave.”
“I like him too. It’s the hooks and tentacles I’m not so happy with.”

(drunk driving) “This road’s not very straight! They should sort this out!”

“The butt of the gun goes somewhere very sensitive!”

“You may be English, but you’re not human, are you?”

“YOU kill a defenceless child and you call ME a monster?”

Dave: “… House …”
Player: “This is no time to watch medical dramas!”

“One dead monster, two dead monsters. Result! Next!”

“I only kill monsters.”
“So do I. It’s all a matter of perspective.”

So basically, Eddie's now an expectant mum. Or dad. Or whatever. To be continued!

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