Wednesday, 28 May 2014

All good deeds must be given with a minor crime

And we're off!

So, we killed Milan, the dragon allied with the Rakshasa, and that was just the last adventure. For this, Booker Dayes (the gunslinger) got a mystery box from the Gray Seers, filled with all manner of weird and wonderful things. There's a protective amulet, a kinetic force gun (totally frickin awesome), a brick with a cryptic message, some red bandannas and a bag of what 1200 credits later turned out to be table salt.

As the Blackstone Juggernauts chief went out to buy loo roll or something, he put Booker Dayes in charge, so when a creepy guy called Rolf (without an Aussie accent, we hasten to add) said he wanted us to find his missing girlfriend, Booker got us a pretty sweet deal. Hopefully.

The missing woman is slightly beyond a Jessica Rabbit level of hotness, so the rest of the team seemed quite interested in helping out. Perhaps less so Christopher Drake the Glitter Boy who, when not in his armour, is dead from the waist down. Well, presumably he still is even in his armour, it's just that he can move around.

Baradhi and Jayson went to check out the place where Jessica Rabbit has a magic shop, and Gorbash had a look around with Drake but things were heating up, so they got out of there. It might have had something to do with Drake threatening to maim a guy ...

Courtesy of Wednesday 21 May 2014's Rifts roleplaying session at Chimera.


“I don’t have any of my Rifts stuff with me.”
“Who are you and what have you done with M?”

Booker: “How are you guys?”
Gorbash: “Fine. You?”
Booker: “Terrified.”
Baradhi: “Breakfast isn’t THAT bad, is it?”

GM (to Jayson): “Your booklet of Skills takes about a year to read.”

Player: “I roll really well tonight! 99!”
GM: “At least you don’t need your character sheet.”

Booker: “So I don’t need to panic anymore?”
Gorbash: “Well … it’s good to have a healthy dose of paranoia.”

Player 1: “That’s why I went all the way.”
Player 2: “That’s what SHE said!”
Player 3: “And we’ve reached scrota already. Freudian scrota at that.”

“Does that mean we’re all gonna die because we’re with him?”
“Yes, pretty much.”

GM: “Are you touching it?”
Player: “Yes. I’m touching all of his things!”

Booker: “Note to self: never let Gorbash touch the gun again.”
Player: “Never arm children.”

Jayson: “We can’t pass ourselves off as Rakshasa.”
Gorbash: “I’m too pretty.”

“No, I don’t have that psionic ability. I only have the pointless ones.”

Jayson’s player: “I so want to say ‘no, THESE are the most powerful guns’.” (biceps)
GM: “I can picture the Tumblr pictures already. Half-naked.”
Jayson’s player: “It was such a chore trying to find a picture of him, you know. Pure torture.”

Gorbash: “You’re up.”
Booker: “What? Oh yeah, I’m in charge!”

GM: “No, I can’t say it like that, I have to revise my acting.”

GM: “Given that you’ve lost my map, I have to make a new one.”

Player: “She’s a babe, basically.”
GM: “She’s THE babe.”

GM: “You’ve seen Ikshal, haven’t you? Ikshal pales in comparison and this is only a hologram.”
Player: “DAYUM.”

“All good deeds must be given with a minor crime.”

GM: “Booker’s really bossy now.”

“It’s like a pint of beer, it’s always running out.”

GM: “Can you note down that you’ve used the amulet twice.”
Booker: “No! I choose NOT to note it down!”

Baradhi: “You don’t know?! I paid you 1200!”

GM: “What should we call this mage?”
Player 1: “Carasuvius.”
GM: “I should have done my own name.”
Player 2: “Carasuvius the Arsehole by the sound of it.”

Baradhi: “I just paid 1200 to have some salt analysed. How much do you think HE’S going to charge to talk to you about true magic?!”

“I have Advanced Mathematics. It’s numbers.”
“I have Interrogation Techniques. It has the word ‘tech’ in it.”

GM (to Drake): “You hear Jayson talking to you. You did not see him coming, and you don’t know why that is.”
Jayson: “It’s my Aura of Awesome.”

GM: “How are you dressed?”
Jayson: “There’s a dress code?”
GM: “No, it’s in Rakshasa territory and you killed their dragon.”
Jayson: “Oh. Would a fake beard work?”

Baradhi: “If that’s the way you treat potential customers, then GOOD DAY to you.”
Player: “This is SO getting a bad score on TripAdvisor when we get back.”

Booker: “He’s a 3 going out with a 12.5!”
Jayson: “20.”
Booker: “No, 12.5. I have standards.”

Baradhi: “She probably has several boyfriends.”
Jayson: “But why am I not one of them?!”
Booker: “You’re a Cyber-Knight.”
Jayson: “There’s nothing in the contract about being celibate! I HAVE NEEDS!”

Drake: “You cold-blooded bastards.”
Gorbash: “That’s actually a misconception about dragons.”

Drake: “Do you know anything or do I have to punch your teeth down your throat?”

“We know what their response time is. You could murder someone and get away.”

So that's how we roll. Odds on the brick thing opening next session? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

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