The Reincarnation of Axcalibur

The pregnant Eddie tried to drown his sorrows (foetus) in vodka. Strangely, he wasn't getting drunk from any of it, but instead, his body got very toned all of a sudden. He had never sported a sixpack before! Pregnancy really suits him!

We went looking for clues in Alvaston (or rather, Trevor was looking for a place to turn into a community centre), a rough part of Derby, and unfortunately, that's when Eddie decided to give birth to the big stone egg. Well, first of all, there was a thing crawling up through his throat and Tommy had to perform a tracheotomy and pull it out to stop Eddie from suffocating. The thing was a baby tentacle monster, as expected, and its gunk was highly corrosive. Luckily, Tilly performed some healing magics on him so that he wouldn't bleed to death.

Unfortunately, Eddie was carrying twins. There was also an egg and it decided to come out through his plumbing, so to speak. Ouchhh. The monster baby was dispatched and thrown into a hedge, where a tentacle monster and his tentacle monster dog then went looking.

So that was mentally scarring. We had visits from the blue-eyed German guy again, and some of us entered into bargains with him, which we're not exactly sure if it was a good idea or not yet, but we hope he isn't Fey, because then we're screwed. Eddie got another axe as replacement for his dearly departed Axcalibur.

Later on, we went back and were going to talk to the man and his dog, but the man ran into Zolistagol, Tommy and a patched-up Eddie and they didn't go easy on him. The dog, however, was behaving the way these tentacle monsters were supposed to behave ... so Tilly decided to try befriending it. How that works out, we'll find out next time.

You can't make a Heroic Molotov without breaking a few eggs

We did what any normal roleplaying group would do: we brought the big stone eggs together at Trevor's, because there was one in Trevor's basement and one disguised as a book box at Tilly's. Bringing eggs together made them smash, and green goo went all over the place.

Zolistagol and Eddie quickly went to clean themselves off, but Tilly was fascinated by the gunk moving ... especially as it was actually moving OFF her. The goo went down on the floor and came together in a great Terminator impression. It became a baby hook tentacle monster that was almost sort of cute.

We did what any normal roleplaying group would do: KILL IT BEFORE IT KILLS US. Most of the party didn't seem too concerned about being baby-killers, except for Tilly who wasn't convinced we should have killed the thing in the first place.

It turned out there were a few eggs over at Eddie's as well, and that his old pal Dave was a tentacle monster. The cinnamon-smelling ganja smoke that filled up Eddie's living room had the unfortunate side effect of impregnating him ... with one of those stone eggs. The weird writing we had seen on the walls was actually a warning to stay away because 'ere be an incubator.

Dave was later shot and killed, which wasn't part of the plan, but at least we didn't do it.

Do you sell disposable shotguns?

We had food again, which Eddie found himself actually enjoying (even though it was a really poncy kebab with green things in it).

We planned.

We got attacked.

At Trevor's mansion decent-sized house, after catching up with Agatha and the woman we kept safely locked up in an upstairs bathroom and sending the latter on her merry way now that she's feeling better, a brain-sucking creature was going to stick its tentacles in Tilly's head, but luckily, Trevor was there to blow most of the creature away and scare off the other one. He needs to find himself some disposable shotguns because every time he uses one, it blows up thanks to the wrath of God.

At Tommy's there was strange writing on the walls and in his wardrobe, a mysterious hat box. With a big stone egg in it that couldn't be knocked over. It was so peculiar that he decided to put it in the bin for safe-keeping.

Eddie called one of his "cleaners" to Tommy's, seeing as how there were some corpses there from last week's session (not to mention this one), and the guys all decided to help - even when the instructions were "here, help me cut up these bodies". Zolistagol appeared to fit into the role of butcher a little too readily ...

Arriving at the rather gory scene, Tilly freaked out so much she went to watch Top Gear on Dave, later uttering things like "the Bugatti Veyron is a good car, apparently".

MY BRAIN IS ON THAT THING!

We're back in Derby, picking up shortly after the end of the previous adventure. Eddie, or rather "Eddie", had ordered some goons to off the local police chief last time we played, so the real Eddie made sure to let his goons know to not just follow orders unless they're accompanied by a password, so to speak.

The group found a new (and slightly retconned) ally in the hospital porter Thomas "Tommy" Crane, who had some info about the semi-zombified people that were hospitalised. And later on, he was attacked by an invisible, brain-sucking ... thing with tentacles. It was unpleasant. But at least being attacked by otherworldly creatures means he's now one of the team.

And apparently, there's this guy with blue eyes who goes around warning people about "hollow knights" and burning buildings. What's that about?

Are you uncomfortable yet?

The wife and child were taken care of, and we went to deliver the "package" (Harold) to the people who wanted him, but apparently they no longer wanted him, and the Johnson who hired us had been a little "hasty" in his instruction to us. The job wasn't guaranteed, and actually, the corporation that hired us have close ties with Mitsuhama (Harold's previous employer) so under no circumstances could they have him or there would be Problems.

They said we should kill him, or at least get rid of him so that he would never resurface.

We didn't want to kill him, because we caused the situation for him, even if it was unwittingly. When we all then misunderstood an NPC's statement of "I've had to dispose of them myself" to mean Harold's family (when he did in fact mean the Harold's family's CommLinks - bit of a difference), things took a rather nasty turn.

Harold didn't listen to our plea to stay hidden and switch his CommLink off ("WE found you because it's still on, doofus! Don't you think THEY will?") ... so Teddy decided to "take care of" him. By magically influencing him to play with traffic.

Well ... at least he's dead now. But the traffic jam, and the reason for it, is headline news.

So that didn't pan out.