Tuesday, 6 October 2015

Save him now and kill him later for the XP

We're back some time in the future! We re-joined the group at the very end of the previous epic battle against Nxla, and the party found that someone was looking at them. It turned out to be a ley line mage called Alistair. New party member!

Rita (a.k.a. Hecate) asked to be escorted back to Stormspire and that's the direction we were going anyway. She didn't waste time trying to get each and every party member to swear fealty to her, by pushing every character's possible buttons. Gorbash and Jayson quickly declined, Ulmolf considered it ... and then considered what Odin would do to him when he finds out Ulmolf's switched deities, and Booker said yes and then tried to negotiate the terms of the agreement. Rita's not really the kind of deity you negotiate with ...

Then there was a party, and then we tried to talk Booker out of going on a suicide mission ... or at least to not go without the rest of us.

Pro tip: don't play Sushi Dice in a store full of people. For hours. Why? The game involves ringing a bell far too bloody often, driving other people in said store to insanity. Because everything is accompanied by a DING! or even a DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!! if the players are particularly trigger-happy.

Courtesy of Tuesday 29 September 2015's Rifts roleplaying session at Chimera.


“Who in their right mind prefers iced buns over donuts?”

“There’s a Woolly Dragon.”
“I’m playing the wrong race!”

“He’s actually outside, waiting to ambush you.”
“With HUGS!”
“Of death.”

“I’m a unicorn!”
“You’re a weirdo.”

“Lives are lost, families were ruined … but we got away with the money.”

Ulmolf: “If you count cards you can change the outcome if you have a wager with people.”
Gorbash: “Why can’t I just read their minds to find out what cards they have?”
Ulmolf: “Laddie, we’re going to Vegas!”

“He’s the GM, I better be nice to him.”

“There’s an index for the index?”
“That just sumps up Rifts right there.”

Player 1: “Are you tired of not finding that niggling little rule in the millions of books? Try the new index book!”
Player 2: “To be fair, that’s how they sold it to him.”
GM: “… Yes …”

“I know I’m obnoxiously loud, but I’m funny.”

Player: “I will call him Tiny.”
Ulmolf: “I will fucking kill you.”

“All of a sudden you’re interested in being the Chosen One when it comes with bling!”

“I resemble that remark.”
“Dude, stop stealing my lines!”

“Gorbash, what have we told you about bringing home strays?”

Booker: “I could kill the refugees but Gorbash would kill me.”
Jayson: “And I would help him.”
Alistair: “And I would watch!”

“The civilian’s got skills! Kill him for the XP!”

“If you give a child a gun, he becomes XP.”
“Yes?”

Player: “This book LIES to you!”
GM: “Yes. Frequently.”

“When the GM bursts out laughing you know you’ve boned yourself.”

“You’re thinking of this as a modern day contract, but it’s a feudal contract. Feudal! She says ‘do you swear fealty?’ and you say ‘yes’ and that instantly makes you her bitch.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?”
“I could tell you in excruciating detail.”

“I’ve got Lore: Everything so I probably know about it.”

“Is that a breeze blowing in his hair or is it L’Oréal? Because he’s worth it.”

“I’m adorable, look at this beard.”
“Sociopathic bastard.”

“I can’t believe you googled what ‘snakebite’ is in Swedish when we have TWO native Swedish speakers in the group.”
“Yeah, but they were busy.”

“Can we just kill the person with that fucking bell?”
“You don’t need this fork back, right?”
“No, it’s an odd one. Just remember to wipe the fingerprints off.”

“Gorbash, your name begins with a G and so you’re gullible.”
“Mine’s B. Does that make be a badass or a bastard?”

“I didn’t fail the shot. They just failed to die from it.”

GM: “Ixchal shows you around her home.”
Player: “‘And this is the bedroom’ …”

Jayson: “I’m gonna have a shower first because I’ve been slaying zombies and stuff.”
GM: “Maria will be at the party.”
Jayson: “Well, she can join me in the shower, can’t she? Waste not, want not.”

“I spent six hours writing spells down, I’m making this work!”

Gorbash: “I will join where Jayson and Maria are.”
Jayson: “In the shower?!”

“That game should be re-named Sushi Go Fuck Yourself.”
“I second that.”

“Medic!”
“Are you wanting him saved now so you can kill him later?”

“Why can’t it be a NICE prophecy? Why can’t it be rainbows and unicorns?”

“Make it dignified.”
“I think that ship has sailed.”

“I don’t give a crap about holy quests.”
“Says the Chosen One.”

The GM's away the next couple of weeks, so we're improvising. Boardgaming is likely to be involved, though.

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