We’re gonna need a bigger airlock

Last weekend played host to ChimeraCon 6 - a 24 hour roleplaying event at Chimera in Beeston. These are the quotes from the first session's Eclipse Phase game (3 December 2011), which was a continuation of the story from ChimeraCon 5 in September.

We didn't have a session on Tuesday night because the GM was ill and another party member was away. We should be starting the next Changeling adventure this following Tuesday, though.

Anyway, in this session's eventful Eclipse Phase, we went to a space station, fought an airlock, conversed with a big orca whale who later got sucked out of an airlock, and other crazy aliens that had read too much Animal Farm. And then we sort of turned the ship into a portable Pandora Gate, or something like that, with only a couple of original bodies actually surviving. Hats off to our fallen comrades!

“I don’t think anyone going to a 24-hour roleplaying convention will be scared away by a slightly chubby man in a hat!”

“Double hat man has been upgraded!”
“TRIPLE hat man!”

“They don’t sparkle because REAL men’s chocolate don’t sparkle!”

GM: “Gain a point of Stress for watching your own, grainy death in high definition!”

“There’s an adventure in there: Hadrian’s Firewall.”

(The group is searching for information about Caesar)
“I get something about a salad, with chicken, bacon and mayo.”
“I just get something about some sort of dog whisperer.”

“That was always Yuri’s job.”
“And he was always right, even he was insane.”

“Aaah, fish rape.”

(Faced with a scene of absolute carnage)
“This is nice. Reminds me of home.”
“Reminds me of Event Horizon.”

Player: “Frenchie, they’re flanking you.”
Frenchie: “Aaah! Surrender!”

“If MacGyver can make a laser, so can you!”
“I can! With the use of science!”

Player 1: “Dolphin motherfuckers.”
Player 2: “So we ARE doing fish rape then.”
Player 3 (chirpy): “Tweetfish!”

“Go multiple.”
“Just for the Farscapeness of it.”

“It looks like you’re about to delete someone’s ego. Would you like some help with that?”

“Should’ve never given Caesar the book.”
“What book?”
Animal Farm.”

“It’s not a seabass with a laserbeam skill!”

“I love how we’re debating Marxist philosophy.”

GM: “You’re trapped in the hangar with an orca behind the door. It’s like Jurassic Park in space.”

“Can’t we just upload it with the collected works of Enid Blyton?”

“In fact, quite a lot of his deaths have been Disney style falls.”

“How do you know where to run to?”
“Down the ladder works!!”

GM: “It’s no alien tech. No one had built it before because no one was that crazy, but it’s all standard tech. No one had built concentration camps before the Nazis did either, but that doesn’t mean aliens did it. …And I’ve just come up with a great idea for the next ChimeraCon.”

(After some girl who kept looking in through the window actually opened the door and looked in properly, and then promptly left again)
Player (frustrated): “Oh for fuck’s sake, just come in and offer blowjobs or fuck off, you tarts!”

“We three are the heavy hitters. You two are the front line scouts, also known as bait.”

Player: “I can’t see and I dodged it!”
GM: “You may have got lucky.”

“I know how to find Room 41, but it requires us to be Operating Thetan level five and part with lots of money.”
“…Yes, Tom Cruise.”

GM: “To metagame briefly: it’s ignoring its wound penalties.”

“We’re gonna need a bigger airlock.”

“It can’t really Fray – it’s a WHALE.”

And the quote that they wrote down especially because I wasn't there to make a note myself:

“When I fist your vagina, that’ll be your Bluff roll.”

Apparently, at 4am, that was the most hilarious thing ever. It was something to do with punching someone in the balls, except the character was female ... Yeah, come 11am, they saw that quote in new light too. ;)

We'll be back next week with your regular scheduled programme! And at some point, there should also be quotes about another one of this ChimeraCon's exclusive games: JurisFiction. (It needs transcription first, though, because I was too busy GM:ing to make any notes!)