Did we win?

So, we were faced with a number of creepy evil clowns and then a big octopus monster thing and creepy Walt Disney type dude? I may have got my notes and memories a little scrambled. We take it down, the deadland becomes ... not so bad any more?

Going back to the people we were trying to save and the town to tell them of our progress, Vince accidentally chatted up a widow by botching his pheromone roll. She was planning on dumping her kid and coming with us ... but um, we got the heck out of there. Because ain't nobody got time for that. He was very sad about it, it was touching. But at least he got laid, eh? ;)

We know it's corrupted

There was an icky axe-a-mole thing in the arcade. I mean, everything about this place is icky and creepy, but ... y'know. We found a guy. We went into the Enchanted Wood, where we went past a creepy picnic (which we ignored, yay us) to find a shed in the woods.

There was an animatronic werewolf attacking us, because for some reason we were the three little piggies and we got out of the shed just before it collapsed? Being in a deadland is not recommended, by the way. You easily get damaged - as Vince can confirm.

My hair pin is amazing!

Back in post-apocalyptic land, a woman threw herself in front of the van. She wanted a lift into a town that wants help help with bandits. This took us all the way to a creepy, deserted theme park - Magic Island! We had to walk along a monorail line to get there.

So, we shot at people holding townspeople hostages. We free hostages (I think). Creepy theme park is creepy. There are blood-soaked buildings, a fountain with screaming cherubs that start spluttering blood, because OH HEY THIS IS A DEADLAND. Are there evil clowns? Of course there are. And then the monorail, a.k.a. the only way on or off the island, has collapsed. Permission to freak out?

I've seen this trap before!

We finally made it back to Deadlands. And then we very nearly died when we got inside a building with a big mechanical centipede. It was big and mechanical and in charge of people. Still, we all made it through and live another day.

The Paladin we were looking for, on the other hand, was not so lucky.

Call me salty, but ...

Our Deadlands session was two hours shorter than usual, and we didn't do a whole lot, so there wasn't much written down.

However, we also have a boardgaming session saved up for times like these.

Falling for the plot device

Jack tried to flirt with the tanker truck driver he decided last session he was going to marry. She wasn't impressed.

Vince had a chat with the other Syker in town and Maggie discovered they had come to some sort of hipster vegetarian hideout where they grew their own food and served bran muffins and stuff.

We then helped to build a fence around the town and waited to be attacked. And so we were. Epic Syker blew head off bad guy - there was a mini mushroom cloud and nuclear fallout and everything! \o/

Do Doomsayers glow in the dark?

We're on the road again ... or, well, three of us are: Jack the Road Warrior, Vincent the Syker and Maggie the Law Dog.

I think we ended up somewhere in Wyoming, where we spotted some guys on the side of the road. They were looking for something, so we decided to help out. Turned out to be related to burned out corpses. Doomsayers are in the area, and them folks are bad news in general.

Eventually, modifications were made to the cannon mounted on top of Jack's truck and Maggie might glow in the dark, but it's all good ... even though the truck is now a rolling bomb waiting to go off at any second ...

Damn dice behaving like dice!

Our last instalment of Hell on Earth had us in a hospital. The one where they make those bloated zombies we've kept seeing. We fought the doctor who created them, although for some of it we were just flailing around at the zombies rather than being competent fighters ... oh well. At least we lived to tell the tale!

I'm glad we're both stupidly heroic

Now that people were back from Reasons They Couldn't Make Last Session, the rest of us filled those people in on what we'd been up to in the meantime, i.e. killing bloaters on a riverboat and freeing a bunch of oar slaves.

There was a CLUE and everything, pointing toward a hospital about a mile or so away, so of course we decided that's the place to go. (It probably doesn't help that it seems like three people in the group have either Heroic or Brave or both.) Going by boat through the swamp soon attracted them bloaters, who promptly started to try boarding our ship - or at least drag us down to their level.

In the end, to cut a long story short, traumas were got and we got to the hospital.

Averaging our way through the apocalypse

It's a new year and new zombies to kill!

We went aboard a riverboat, which we meant to blow up (because zombies) but the evening was young and so we decided to check it out first. There were zombies, but there were also a number of perfectly innocent slaves that the zombies hadn't yet eaten, so we freed them.

It was the best day ever.

Zombies with a foot fetish

Baton Rouge turns out to not just have a problem with river pirates, but also with zombies. Zombies with fancy morgue tags on their toes, despite morgues having gone out of fashion (well, they kind of do when the dead get up and walk). Perhaps some nefarious dude is creating zombies in a kind of golem style way? If we can fight them off for long enough - or if the GM could avoid critting when hitting characters who botched their Quickness rolls for initiative - maybe we can actually get to the bottom of this. The murky, swampy bottom.

We're building a vacuuminator

Still in Baton Rouge, we walked around the sunken town and had a chat with the locals - until we were attacked by river pirates again. On the plus side, we have a guy who can kill people with his brain, and the rest of us are trained to use various weapons ...

Pretending we're in Venice and not Baton Rogue

Making our way down the river we eventually reached the flooded remains of Baton Rouge and met the locals, who were rather surprised to learn that a horse had been trained to go outside to take a dump. The locals seem friendly enough. Maybe next time we find out they actually want to turn us into gumbo?

Get out of my guts!

We're back in the future, and this time we have a couple of new friends:

• Elliot Harrison, a Templar
• Rufus Sterling, a Huckster (replacing Duke Carpenter)

We've travelled a lot and made it down to Louisiana, where we stopped because the van broke down and helped a guy not to get slaughtered by a pack of rats. Aaaand then we were about to be attacked by river pirates, so we got out of there.

This is how the apocalypse starts

Having taken down the zombies posing as nice medics, we decided to head into the basement of the ruined compound, based on an intact power line leading down there. Duke fitted himself through a custom-made hole in the floor and had to step out of the armour in order to fit with the rest of us through an airlock.

On the other side was a laboratory with a couple of undead and a lady who turned into midges when confronted. It was difficult to do any damage to her, seeing as how she just disintegrated herself into a swarm of flies if we tried.

In the end, through the cunning use of roleplaying, we found some wasps and discovered they basically eat the pestilence midges, so we set them on the fly lady and when all was said and done, took the antidote and set the wasps free to remove the disease in the wild. And then we probably had a proper wash off, seeing as how some of us were covered in sewage from the last shower we had ...

Are we dead yet?

Last week ended on a cliffhanger - a plague bear was coming right for us, along with some well-dressed dude. This session started with the well-dressed dude getting into our van while the rest of us took the bear down.

The dude didn't get to steal the van, which is what it seemed like he'd be doing. Instead, he told us he was trying to find some kind of lab that used to be in the area. That sounded like a good idea to us, seeing as how we might find a cure for whatever disease we'd manage to acquire last session.

We drove through the woods, following the tracks of the abandoned vehicle, and found a large log cabin. The people inside were doctors and quite friendly. They even offered us (Maggie, Vincent and the NPC) to freshen up. Meanwhile, outside, Jack patched up the two holes in his windshield and Duke stayed put in his mech suit. A black rainstorm hit, which was only a problem for Jack - luckily, he managed to avoid it.

Thanks to Duke deciding to switch his heart monitor on, and realising the only heartbeats were those of us, shit kicked off. Apparently the friendly people were in fact undead and everything around us was just an illusion ... The showers were basically just mud. So now, not only are we infected with icky plague, we're also covered in mud. Great.

Is now the time to botch?

Let's start by introducing ourselves:

• Duke Carpenter, junker and wannabe Space Marine
• Jack Burton, road warrior and van owner
• Maggie Murphy, lawdog
• Vincent Gordon, psyker

We kicked off the adventure by driving along in the van. There was a tree blocking the road and a military vehicle. It looked like an ambush, but we weren't the ones ambushed. Getting out (Duke only after putting on his mech suit) we investigated the place, and found dead bodies with flies all over them.

Later, we found a camp full of sick people. Luckily, they had nicked a device that allows you to check your health status. Turned out to be an infection of unknown origin. As it also turned out, some of us had become infected. (So that's why you shouldn't use Vigor as a dump stat. No wonder my character was the first one infected!)

Now we just need to find some kind of cure, before our skin melts off our faces too. Yay?

Stop turning me into a Space Marine!

We didn't start the campaign this session either, because we were too busy continuing the character generation. This is serious stuff!

On the plus side, the GM had made a mistake with our Veteran choice, which meant that we had to do some rejigging of points and Edges/Hindrances. On the plus side, my character didn't have to have a major phobia against cold, tetanus and sitting down. Only getting one fate chip is probably going to prove inconvenient, but not as inconvenient as those phobias. So yay for that!