Do you sell disposable shotguns?

We had food again, which Eddie found himself actually enjoying (even though it was a really poncy kebab with green things in it).

We planned.

We got attacked.

At Trevor's mansion decent-sized house, after catching up with Agatha and the woman we kept safely locked up in an upstairs bathroom and sending the latter on her merry way now that she's feeling better, a brain-sucking creature was going to stick its tentacles in Tilly's head, but luckily, Trevor was there to blow most of the creature away and scare off the other one. He needs to find himself some disposable shotguns because every time he uses one, it blows up thanks to the wrath of God.

At Tommy's there was strange writing on the walls and in his wardrobe, a mysterious hat box. With a big stone egg in it that couldn't be knocked over. It was so peculiar that he decided to put it in the bin for safe-keeping.

Eddie called one of his "cleaners" to Tommy's, seeing as how there were some corpses there from last week's session (not to mention this one), and the guys all decided to help - even when the instructions were "here, help me cut up these bodies". Zolistagol appeared to fit into the role of butcher a little too readily ...

Arriving at the rather gory scene, Tilly freaked out so much she went to watch Top Gear on Dave, later uttering things like "the Bugatti Veyron is a good car, apparently".

Aberrations of evolution, as chosen by God

Things turned interesting for the group this session. While the men in the group hid to avoid detection, Tilly tried shielding the girl/victim we found and ended up being hidden in plain sight. Something's obviously going on there.

Eddie went berserk with his axe, Zolistagol got to speak Russian ("Vladivostok!") and Trevor ... had his skin badly burned. To soothe it, Tilly grabbed some holy water from her bag (like you do), and lo and behold, the witch had apparently obtained magical powers, and the skin started healing!

After much ado, we ended up torching the warehouse to destroy evidence (might have accidentally burned someone alive, but hey ho), borrowed a fake brick of Nazi gold from the Russian mob, and the girl wasn't perhaps so much as a victim but a ghoul in training, or something like that. She wanted feeding to complete the process, and unfortunately, we were on the menu. No gratitude at all, that one.

We tied her hands and locked her in one of the bathrooms at Trevor's. And then we were visited by Tony the Ghoul, who told us what was actually going on. By that point, we couldn't really say sorry, we'd rather stay in with a pizza, beer and watch the Rams game on Sky Sports.

Finding Axcalibur with a d10 frag grenade

Seeing as how we were going to check out a warehouse, we got tooled up. The Russian especially, he went to B&Q and really went to town. Tilly went home and got tooled up mentally, by looking through books, finding an obscure reference to a Czechoslovakistani blood ritual cult from the early 1800s, headed by a guy whose name even the GM had trouble pronouncing, but "Tonsillitis" is close enough.

After meeting up at Starbucks, we also got tooled up very below board in a car park. Now we're carrying some old, sawn-off shotguns with ammo, a couple of handaxes and a bigger, diamond-edged axe Eddie took such a shine to that he named it Axcalibur.

At the warehouse, we heard voices ... saw footsteps ... and witnessed the carrying of a big box that definitely was from an Indiana Jones film, even though the GM insists the box really doesn't contain the Ark of the Covenant. Shots were fired (not by us), and suddenly we found ourselves face to face with the warehouse owner. In the words of the Teletubbies: uh-oh.