Friday, 1 June 2012

Genghis Khan would've approved

After the first session's adventurous night, Brown and the Deadly Hummingbird went to get drunk. Someone challenged them to a fight, but as luck would have it, managed not to have Brown beaten up.

Meanwhile, Boaty investimagated the Tube tunnels and found someone at a distance who refused to run for help, as well as someone who was hurt or possibly dead. There was a hole in the wall too. All this was duly reported to other policemen to take care off while he went home for the night.

Miss Duckworth got home only to interrupt the oldest child telling the younger two a scary story. At a very strategic moment, involving thunder and lightning. Poor kids, lost sanity points and are now terrified of their governess. If only they knew their daddy was brutally murdered.

Troubled by nightmares, Brown finally woke up and got himself ready for some work at the Bath Manor, where Abigail found herself in charge of the household, as Lady Bath and the children were elsewhere, and Lord Bath ... well, he's the ex-Master. A handsome naval lieutenant (who was the right sort of jerk to make a spinster a good husband in them days) came to collect some things from Lord Bath, and Abigail gladly handed them over. Possibly not the best of ideas, considering he left his shadow behind. In proper Victorian fashion, fainting ensued.

Brown was polishing the bannisters when Boaty and Cecil came by to let the household know Lord Bath was no more. After they'd left, a corpse showed up at the door ...

Courtesy of Tuesday 29 May 2012's Call of Cthulhu adventure at Chimera.


“I’m going to stop trying to understand this conversation.”

“Crotch-diving is nothing between friends.”

“Crotch-diving sounds like a new Olympic sport.”
“If it was, I’d at least get a bronze medal.”

“Stop being funny while I’m eating!”

“Yay for comic book logic!”

“Where’s that from?”
“I just made it up.”
“Oh. Awesome.”

Player: “What’s everyone else doing?”
GM (pointing at players): “Gin house, Manor house, getting himself killed.”

“What kind of house is this if it’s full of Johns?”

Player 1: “I’m married to Pete Griffin!”
Player 2: “Could be worse. Could be Nick Griffin.”
Player 1: “I don’t know which would be worse.”
Player 2: “Nick Griffin. Pete Griffin isn’t real.”
Player 3: “I’m not sure Nick Griffin is real.”

“Next time I see Kevin Bacon with a fag, I’ll think ‘Smoky Bacon’.”

(Discussing an old warlord’s superior weaponry)
“So THAT’S why I always win Civilization V when I play as Genghis Khan.”

Player: “…And then you have the Chinese weapon.”
Gimli: “And my axe!”

“We’ve proven my theory: Any roleplaying discussion will eventually dissolve into talking about weaponry.”

“Genghis Khan was a roleplayer!”
“No, he wasn’t. He was THE MAN.”

Terrified child NPCs: “Aaah! Our governess can control the weather!”

“Floats like a hummingbird, drinks like a tree.”

“That was poetry until the last word.”

“I’m confused. Where ARE you from?”
“The character’s from Leicestershire, the player’s from Sweden. It’s near Bermuda.”

Hummingbird: “What’s this?”
Brown: “It’s gin, sir. This is a gin house.”

Brown: “I think I did that well.”
Hummingbird: “We’ll work on it for next time.”
Brown (worried): “…Next time…?”

“I’ll keep my eyes peeled.”
“Someone might peel them FOR you in a minute.”

GM: “So weird doing a scene, not watching it.”
Player: “Yes, yes, get on with it.”

“I had an idea for superhero the other day. A time-travelling hobo called Time Bum.”

Boaty (explaining to his peers): “Geezer down there got his arm chewed off.”

“When did ‘investimagate’ become a thing?”

“Why am I so memetic?”

Brown: “Sir, why have you picked me up?”
Hummingbird: “I felt a narrative urge.”

“Let’s move on before this gets very metatextual.”

“You have a lot of tentacles, sir.”

“Why does everyone always assume that?”
“Because it’s Call of Cthulhu!”

“I’ll dig up my finest set of clothes. They have less dirt on them.”

Grimes: “You go with Cecil.”
Boaty: “Noooo! Cecil cries more than the children!”

“I should play doormats more often. It’s proving thoroughly entertaining.”

“It says ‘Bath Manor Soon’.”
“Does that mean take a bath and go to the manor to meet a Chinese drugdealer?”

“A Navy bloke brought you a message.”
“Did he have a big, white moustache?”
“No.”
“Not the Admiral, then.”

“I wish to make a Grapple roll to catch her as she falls.”
“Of course you are.”

“I can feel my waist expanding as I’m listening to you.”

“Is that an African cannibal or a cannibal African? We must find out!”

“Are there rats in Africa?”
“Big as houses!”

“The reason Hummingbird’s so good is that he’s cheap, and that’s the best kind of asset.”

“We should probably keep an eye out for real clues, by the way.”

GM: “Your scene has ended, sirs.”
Player: “Oh is that what it was? I thought you were doing Tai Chi.”

“I’ve started a trend!”

“Avoid the pantry at all costs!”

“Has he got his names in the right order? You said it was Tennant. I love Victorian London.”

GM: “Aww, you’re so lucky. This one time.”

Abigail: (faints, like a proper Victorian lady, after seeing a scary shadow)
Brown: “Throw my polishing towel at it.”
Player: “Epic battle manoeuvres from the both of you.”

“Can I roll Sanity again? I passed.”

(A handsome lieutenant is at the door)
Abigail: “Gerrout the way, he’s a potential suitor!”

Boaty: “I brought along Deadly Hummingbird for expertise.”
Hummingbird: “I don’t think it was an African cannibal.”
Boaty: “See?”

“I want you to know that deep down inside, Set is desperately trying to break free.”

“You’re arrested for being terrible police!”

“What do they call it in this day and age?”
“A chaise-longue.”
“I’m not upper class.”
“A sofa.”

GM: “…Who’s about to die, falling onto you.”
Brown: “Nobody’s in, sir!” (closes the door)

GM: “Don’t do that to me, I’m the GM. I just do it back.”

“He’s not bleeding, Michael, he’s dead. That’s your name, isn’t it, Michael?”

Boaty: “Did you know Geoff?”
Brown: “Not until he fell on me.”

Boaty: “You were at the scene of Lord Bath’s death, weren’t you?”
Brown: “You took me there, sir.”

Player 1: “What did the Romans ever do for us?”
Player 2: “Aqueducts.”
Player 1: “Already said that. Aside from aqueducts, what did the Romans ever do for us?”
Player 3: “Sex!”
Player 1: “I’m pretty sure we knew of that before the Romans.”
Player 4 (wistfully): “It was a difficult few thousand years before them.”

Player 1: “I’m already getting ideas for my Victoriana game.”
Player 2 (impressed): “Damn!”
Player 3: “Does it involve Cthulhu?”

That's all from us for this week. Come by again next week for more.

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