Friday, 13 July 2012

Dynamite, I've missed you so

After Will hacked a frigde to get some information, and we had a big discussion about superheroes, we tried to come up with a Plan. The great plan, somehow, was to draw the Iron Jaws out of their territory, to neutral ground. This neutral ground was deemed to be the pizzeria we had visited previously.

At the pizzeria, we were going to order one pizza of each kind ... so that there would be nothing inconspicuous going on or something ... and then we'd blow the whole place up with the Iron Jaws inside and it made some kind of sense at the time.

We went to the pizzeria, ordered the pizzas, but when it was decided to start murderising Mario and his staff, Mr G knocked out half the party as well as the staff. Will then proceeded to slit the restaurant staff's throats with a pizza slicer, because he felt it was "appropriate". Dude, it's only "appropriate" if you're the Joker!

Courtesy of Tuesday 10 July 2012's Shadowrun adventure at Chimera.


Mr G: “This character would’ve been stronger as a dwarf.”
Player: “Yeah, but then you would’ve had to been a dwarf.”
Dru: “Heeey!”

“Liv Tyler can do no wrong.”
“Yes, she can.”
“LIV TYLER CAN DO NO WRONG!”

“There are bits about the Ang Lee Hulk that are pretty good.”
“LEAVE!!”

“Can your character see in the dark?”
“No. He has Night Vision, though.”

“Guys! This comic book film is not true to science!”

“I know how we can make K appreciate Marvel films.”
“Brainwashing!”

“A Tyrannosaurus Rex was the head of the secret police?!”
“No, not the HEAD. That would just be silly.”

GM: “I give up, I can’t compete with this.”

JDog: “If there’s a tracker finding my house, you’re gonna regret me living on the 10th floor!”
GM: “You live on the 10th floor? Duly noted. Oh, how big is the window?”
JDog: “Big enough.”

GM (to Will): “You’re in complete control of the strange fridge.”

Player: “JDog, why did you hide that porn in the freezer when that girl came around?”
JDog: “Goddamn fridge!”

Will: “Although you DID put a bullet hole in my chest, so I’ll take what you say with a pinch of salt.”

“You’re gonna betray the party now, aren’t you?”

“You’re a Shadowrunner with a guilt conscience?!”
“You’re gonna die!”

“Oh my god, you lie like Mr Magoo! This is gonna be easy.”

“If I shoot someone and steal his wallet, I don’t leave a fiver for burial!”

“You wanna whack a Johnson?”

JDog: “…He kept being screwed!”
Dru: “Was he a carpenter?”

Mr G: “I have a reputation among the corps!”
Dru: “How can you have a reputation among corpses? They’re dead.”

“So all you want to do is to get to Seattle?”
“No, that didn’t end well the last time.”

JDog (to Dru): “You gold-lovin’, money-grabbing midget!!”

Mr G: “Every time I try to explain something, people start looking at me funny and pull a gun.”

GM: “You are terrible, terrible people.”

“You ran into the darkness!”
“I didn’t know what it would do!”

“He didn’t try to throw us off a cliff and then burn us with alchemy potions!”

“I never betrayed the party when I wasn’t possessed by an evil darkness.”

“What have YOU done since the start of this job?”
“Had an argument with a fridge!”

“Are we entirely surrounded by creepy motherfuckers?”

GM: “This is the most ridiculous Shadowrun plan I have ever heard. Please go with it.”

“You think we’re just gonna blow up a building and no one notices?”

(after discovering Dru carries 10kg of foam explosives on her)
JDog: “I now see where the radical part of your eco-shaman comes in.”
Dru: “It’s like composting. With explosives.”

Will: “Does PK hurt your head?”
Mr G: “It hurts other peoples’ heads when I put them through a brick wall.”

JDog: “We can blame it on a terrorist group.”
Dru: “Don’t look at me!”

“This is where you cough a lot of blood and die horribly, right?”

“Everybody in this group is damn weird.”

“Our Shadowrunners would make better superheroes. Our superheroes would make better Shadowrunners. I smell a crossover!”

“Am I about to gun down Mario? I’ve waited for this my entire life!”

“Does this setting contain dynamite? Yes: blow it up. No: die.”

GM: “It’s pretty much a family-run business.”
Player: “Not for much longer.”

GM: “First, that requires a Stealth roll.”
Player: “Fuck it, I’ll just do him.”

GM: “What is it with you people and not dodging when I’m shooting you?!”

“I’m not having fun, I’m being shot at!”

Will: “I get the pizza slicer …”
JDog: “Dude! Get my GUN!”

“Bowser’s hiding in a castle somewhere, going ‘oh, so THAT’S how it’s done’.”

“I just thought cutting his throat with a pizza slicer was appropriate.”

“I think you had better shut up. Our GM appears to have broken down.”

...We're terrible people. Terrible, pizza guy-murderin' people.

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