Sunday, 26 August 2012

I only ever wanted to be an engineer

This weekend was the next ChimeraCon, and the game I ended up playing in (and therefore could document) was using the first edition of Warhammer Fantasy Role-Play and set in Elizabethan London - or "the Smoke" as it was referred.

The party was a group of country bumpkins travelling to the big city, and ended up getting caught in a conflict between the Masons and the Templars, and a group of Psions who said King Arthur was returning.

He was, as it turned out, along with some of his friends. We got knighted by Mordred.

The game ran over all four sessions, but we only played in sessions one and four. Good way of staying alive, if you ask us!

Courtesy of Saturday 25 and Sunday 26 August 2012's 1st Edition Warhammer Fantasy Role-Play-based adventure at Chimera.


Session 1:

GM: “You choose between Dance, Musicianship and Sing. You’re an elf.”

GM: “You were a … druid! You weren’t expecting that!”

“Yes, Captain Sarcasm.”

“But it’s an intimidating weapon.”
“Especially for a herbalist.”

“I have a recorder, but I can’t play it.”
“Like everyone else who’s ever had a recorder.”

“Halflings coming over here, stealing our women.”
“Stealing your stuff, more like.”

“I forgot I had a staff and that it’s a weapon.”

“Don’t you have to be smart to be one of them?”
“I dunno, I just liked the word.”

GM: “Your Deity is either Christian or Christian. You’re either Catholic or not Catholic.”

“Have you ever seen an elf before?”
“I’ve never seen a live one before.”

“The evidence is on your side; it just takes a while for religion to catch up.”

“If you’re someone who makes water, is the rain your fault?”

“Do you like music?”
“Only a man without a soul doesn’t like music.”
“I have a recorder.”
“…I have no soul.”

“You can’t get 106 … it’s a d100.”

“I could read instantly when a priest showed me the Bible, despite the fact that I was raised by wolves.”

“You’re like a walking retirement fund to them.”

“I will now start counting … slowly, for the slow of you.”

Player: “What’s my dog doing?”
GM: “Nothing. It’s just a dog.”

“You only looted one body.”
“Yeah, I’m not greedy.”

“Don’t drink and laugh.”

“I’m not sure I’m that keen on London now.”
“It’s over-rated.”

Innkeeper: “Shove it!”
Party member: “But the sergeant sent us!”
Innkeeper: “Shove the DOOR, idiot!”

“I didn’t want to boot it, I might damage it.”
“It’s not OUR door …”

Innkeeper: “Well, it WOULD be trouble at my door IF I HAD A DOOR, but you smashed it!”

“I really am the only one skilled in any sort of warfare here, aren’t I?”
“I’m a DRUID; I DOWSE, and that’s not a martial art. I checked.”

“How are your Coke lungs doing?”

Halfling: “I’m sound asleep, dreaming of elevenses and second breakfasts.”

“You shouldn’t have listened to us.”
“That’s what you get for peer pressure.”

“Maybe we should stop saying that word.”
“What, ‘masons’?”

“You’re a knob, aren’t you, sir?”

“You don’t need a beggar, you’ve got a pointy stick.”

“Let me do the talking.”
“You’re dead.”

“We’re going to the Hammer and Sickle. ‘The Hammer and Sickle’? The Russian Inn!”

“You’re bad with blood and gore but fine with shit. You’ll make a good ratter.”

“We can leave this shithole now.”
“…I call it home.”

Player 1: “My character is Lawful Neutral.”
Player 2: “Mine’s Chaotic Neutral.”
Player 3: “My character’s Neutral Neutral.”
Player 4: “My character’s greedy.”

“Why won’t anyone take me seriously?”
“It’s the accent.”

“I think synchronised vomiting is about to take place.”

“The guy was nailed to the ceiling. You think we hung around long enough to loot the place?”
“Yes.”

“Someone’s got to get the short straw, don’t they? And it’s not going to be me.”

“You’re not playing World of Warcraft. Sit down.”

Session 4:

“There is no honour amongst thieves.”
“Or pencils amongst roleplayers.”

“How did we end up with a decent warrior?”

“I’ll just toss a dwarf.”
“Which one?”
“Me.”
“You’d toss yourself?”

“Yeah, as a kid, I would’ve laughed at that.”

“That’s practically understandable. I thought this was an old-school system.”

“Good forehead, G.”
“It looks like you’re auditioning for something in Star Trek.”

“Here’s another gold coin for your trouble.”
“Thank you. I’ll be able to afford a sword in no time.”

“What if one’s Catholic and the other one’s protestant?”
“And we’re the Real IRA!”

“Was the elf’s name Sylar? He was my brother!”
“See? I thought they looked similar, and I don’t mean because all elves look the same.”

“The number of 100s rolled today is unbelievable.”

“This has all gone a bit pizzeria. If his name’s Mario, we need to leave.”

“I only came here to be an engineer – now I’m a knight of the round table! Funny how things work out.”
“Sounds like most of our games.”

GM: “The window smashes.”
Player: “AXE IT TO DEATH!”

“You know what? We should do this when I’m awake.”

“He killed you with his fists?!”

“Could we push a cupboard on him or something? A chest of drawers to the face WILL hurt.”

GM: “You can. It’s tricky, but it IS cinematic.”

“If you avoid the ground, it technically means you’re flying.”

“Falling is the fastest route down.”

“Why would I have robes instead of ropes?”
“Because you’re a cleric.”

“One of us might die in this.”
“I’m already dead!”

“You’re on top of him, like a squishy shield.”
“Even in death, you serve.”

“You’re a cleric. Surely there’s some kind of medicinal training in there.”

“Let him live or I’ve no idea what we’re doing next!”

GM: “He sits up and coughs blood all over you.”
Dwarf: “PRAISE NORN!”

“I only ever came here to be an engineer.”

“From rapier to two-handed death-hammer.”
“Oh well, when in Rome.”

“We’ve suddenly gone from crap to good to bad-ass. Without changing a single stat.”

Player: “D20 damage, yeah?”
GM: “Nice try.”

“Although we keep making mistakes, we keep fixing them all!”

“I’ve killed more people in these past two days than I’ve killed in my entire life.”
“I’ve killed more people in the last HOUR than in my entire life!”

The final Victoriana session is due this Tuesday, so later in the week, there will be a summary of those sessions.

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