Friday, 17 August 2012

Shaddap-ah you face!

Sorry for the lack of updates recently. We finished Shadowrun, then started creating characters for Victoriana, then I was away for the next session, and because I'm actually the one running the Victoriana game, I have less time to write down what people are saying - because I'm too busy GM:ing!

So, we might finish the adventure on Tuesday, and then I'll write a post with the quotes I've gathered from the game. Meanwhile, here's some more Shadowrun madness for you to enjoy!

In this bit, Dru the dwarf and Mr G the troll hire a hacker (Will) and some orc muscle (JDog), and try to convince them to help find an ugly elf who needs his head to still be attached. Oh, and experience the 'Shaddap-ah you face' pizza, courtesy of Mario at Pappardelli's.

Courtesy of Tuesday 26 June 2012's Shadowrun adventure at Chimera.


“How long will it be?”
“Since I only need to make one call …”
“About half an hour?”

Fixer: “Got a job.”
Will: “Uhh god, not another one, Fix. What is it this time? Whose computer decided not to work properly because they forgot to push the ON button?”
Fixer: “Oh, this isn’t tech support. I got you a runner job.”
Will: “That sounds more like money.”

Fixer: “After all, you’re the first guy I called on this!”
Will: “Yeahhhhh.”
GM: “Make a Tracking roll.”
Will: “Five.”
GM: “You’re the sixth person he’s called this logon session.”

“You mention that in front of me and see how long your spine stays attached to your body!”

“Oh right, when YOU yell the house down, we have to batten down the hatches like a six foot hurricane and just cry to ourselves. But when I threaten to rip someone’s spine out, you laugh. You laugh at me! I’m hurt.”

“I got a cookie out of it.”
“That’s the important thing, right?”

GM: “After 20 minutes, it becomes very, very clear that no escort is actually arriving.”
Will: “Oh god, I have to walk New York streets.”
GM: “Or you could get a taxi.”
Player: “All you have to do is to put that Jay-Z song on and you’ll be all right. ‘In Neeew York’! Everybody loves that, right?”
Will: “I know what I’ll do. Run!”
Player: “Wait till you attract attention, just run.”
Will: “Yeah! Just go for a jog with my backpack. It’s normally all right.”

GM: “You do pass a few gang members on the way. They look up.”
Will: “Morning!”
Gang member 1: “Run, Forrest! Run!”
Will: “Thanks! Trying to get back in shape!”
Gang member 2: “Man, what gang is chasing him?”
Gang member 3: “I dunno, but they must be scary.”
Will: “Iron Jaws!”
GM: “They instantly disappear inside.”

GM: “An extremely wheezy orc enters Pappardelli’s.”
Will: “Human.”
GM: “Human. Yes. NOW who’s the racist?!”

Dru: “Look, we have those monies that you wanted. Would you like them back? And with a bit of interest?”
JDog: “Yep.”
Dru: “‘Cause there might be a job.”
JDog: “Was this a complicated entrapment scheme?”

JDog: “Suits me as a crazy coincidence, is all.”
Player: “Now HE’S turned into Slick!”

Player: “His accent wanders. He’s Hispanic/African so he can have any accent he wants. He grew up in the Bronx, for god’s sake.”
GM: “Where you’re exposed to roughly 250 accents per day.”
Player: “Yeah. Culturally, I could be a Polish/Jewish/Norwegian accent and no one would question me.”
GM: “Although I do want to hear that.”
Player: “For god’s sake, we invented the croissandwich, end of story.”

Dru: “We’re in Pappardelli’s in the Bronx, near … near the Manhattan?”
Player: “THE Manhattan? What, like the pizza?”
Dru: “Possibly, we’re in a pizza place.”

Mr G: “Ask him what pizza he wants.”
Dru: “What pizza do you want?”
JDog: “You’ve got to be fuckin’ with me. YOU’RE offering me a job?!”
Dru: “And pizza.”

JDog: “TEN grand? Exactly how much of my cracker ass am I going to be risking here for TEN measly grand?”

Dru: “It may be negotiable.”
JDog: “DAMN STRAIGHT IT BE NEGOTIABLE! I don’t get out of BED for that money!”

Dru: “What pizza do you want?”
JDog: “Shut up.”
Dru (to Mr G): “He wants a pizza called ‘Shut Up’.”
Mario the Pizza guy: “Ahhh, one of our finest-ah recipes!”
Mr G: “A Meat Feast, a Vegetarian, and a Shut Up.”
Mario: “Excellent!”

Mario: “If you want-ah a waiter, just-ah call for me: Mario!”
JDog: “He’s getting a bullet to his face.”

Mr G: “Oh, and a Cheese and Tomato, ‘cause that’s probably what the hacker guy will want; they’re fairly bland.”
Mario: “Oki-doki!”
Mr G: “And I have no experience with hackers; however I’m apparently with a vegetarian.”

Mr G: “That’s your bodyguard guy?”
Dru: “No. My bodyguard guy is an orc.”
Mr G: “Oh. Must be the computer guy.”
Dru: “Are you a computer guy, sir?”
Will: “Look around. OH GOD, ammies.”

Will: “I walk over: Please don’t tell me you just yelled out ‘the computer guy’ in the middle of a restaurant at an open door. Really? Really? REALLY?”
Mr G: “Is cheese and tomato okay for you?”
Will: “Cheese and tomato what?”
Mr G: “Cheese and tomato pizza.”
GM: “There’s a pizza waiting.”
Will: “Really.”
GM: “There’s another pizza waiting, but it’s giving off ominous, spicy fumes.”
Will: “First ammies, now pizza. My day just can’t get any worse.”

Will: Mario, can I get an Italian pasta, please? Pesto, extra olives? And give this pizza to some poor guy out on the streets.
Mr G: “Is he definitely a computer guy?”
Player: “You just offered pizza to a random stranger who happened to be resting in the doorway?”
Dru: “Hello, would you like pizza?”
Player: “No one would say no, would they?”
Dru: “Not if they’re a computer guy.”
GM: “Clearly, computer guys run on pizza.”

“Are you one of these computer MEN we’ve heard so much about?”

Will: “So you want me to find the guy and extract the file from him?”
Mr G: “Well, duuh?”

GM: “This man has now out-done you on everything technical.”

Will: “Has he got any skills in computer stuff?”
Mr G: “Iunno. The guy said he was good at summink, it might have been computers. He had like weird eyes and shit. And … yeah! He looked ugly enough to be a computer programmer!”

Player 1: “Is that a Vespa?”
Player 2: “No. Not in any way. – Eeeeeeh! I am Runner King! Eeeeeeh!”
Player 3: “The gangs all take me really seriously!”
Player 4: “He’s king of the mods!”
Player 2: “Thousand lights on the front.”
Player 4: “I’m the king of the mods, maw.”
Player 3 (effeminate voice): “Yes, I basically run the underworld, yes.”

Player 1: “I got two successes on my Gang Culture, so I’ll do the same thing.”
Player 2: “I can roll Parazoology, if that helps.”
Player 3: “Not unless I am in fact a street unicorn.”
Player 1: “Or a giraffe.”

GM: “Everyone around you is doing some kind of hand lingo.”
Dru: “Must be an American thing. You guys are weird.”

Orc: “What about Hightower over there? He looks like muscle.”

“We can’t throw stones, really, can we?”

Orc: “You know, next time you do some negotiatin’, you should probably move to a different table.”

“If it’s still alive, put holes in it.”

“Can I shoot him now?”
“Can you do his job?”
“No.”
“Then no.”

Orc: “Who’s this fool?”
Hacker: “The pizza chef.”
Mr G: “It’s the ‘Shut Up’ pizza you wanted.”

“If it makes you feel any better, they gave me a ham and cheese.”

Mario: “Shaddap-ah!”
Orc: “Did you just tell me to shut up?”
Dru: “No, this is the ‘Shut Up’ pizza. It’s the house special.”
Orc: “Get me a blue cheese and jerk pizza and take this the fuck away.”
Hacker: “More free pizza.”

Player 1: “Now we’re just going way too far with this. Let’s go with a normal thing.”
Player 2: “Hulk rape is something, but a slightly provocative position – out!”
Player 3: “That’s just totally un-called for.”

There will be a group changeover in September, so we'll see how that ends up with regards to this blog. :)

1 comment:

  1. Momma says, "always shoot da pool, gonna' flunk-ah school."

    ReplyDelete

Go on, brainalyse us!