Thursday, 4 October 2012

Dude, where's our beer?

Okay, well, I couldn't quite stop myself to jot down a few comments, primarily mentioned while driving. Roadtrip!!

These are comments between Vianden in Belgium and Munich in Germany ... where we may have gone to the Oktoberfest. We'd post a review, if it was that kind of blog, but it isn't, so instead, some craziness. Mostly about our Germanic neighbours.

Read everything in a German accent, and you get the idea. In fact, you should have heard one of the tour guides at one of the castles visited. He spoke English in German. Sort of like Arnie, except with an even heavier accent. So read some of the comments in that accent for a giggle.


“This would indicate we are now in Kansas.”
“They have cows in Kansas?”

“ ‘You sit on the false train’, it’s a line from this song. ‘Er sitzt in den falschen Zug’.”
“Isn’t that too soon?”

“I’m aware what an ‘Ausfahrt’ and an ‘Eingang’ is. Together they’re a gangbanger farting. That’s right, isn’t it?”

“I’m going to overtake him, even though he is German.”
“I don’t think he’ll be insulted.”
“You say that, but when Hitler was bullied as a child … see what happened!”

“We will sneak out and do boys things. But not in a Spartan way.”

“Hermione, about that Polyjuice potion … I never told you this, but I’m actually a member of a furry club … So could you do that again, please?”

“And in German, they kept calling Hermione ‘Hermine’.”
“HERR-MINE!! YOU ARE OUR LEADER!!”

“We can almost make ourselves understood. This country is FABULOUS!”

“It’s like a crumble bread cake.”
“That’s the most fitting description ever.”

“That N-word is probably more controversial here than the other N-word. I haven’t really seen any non-white people here.”

“The Germans still call their country ‘fatherland’ and the Russians call theirs ‘motherland’.”
“They really shouldn’t have a child together.”
“They already did. What about Austria?”
“It would explain a LOT of things.”

“Austria – the REAL Game of Thones!”

Roleplayer over Skype: “I caught my first episode of Firefly the other day and thought it was AMAZING! Why didn’t anyone tell me that sooner?!”

Another roleplayer over Skype: “I’ve seen Firefly and Serenity and all that. Big woop.”
Player listening in to call: KILL HIM WITH STICKS.

“Is it from the past?”
“Like our room.”

“What was that thing called we went on today?”
“A mystical, magical glass elevator. Or a cable car.”

(pointing at big snot bubble from nose)
“Did you just snort washing-up liquid or something?”
“No, I sneezed.”

“I’m sure sex weekends are what Buddha had in mind …”
“It’s an erotic Buddha.”
“Is that a Buddha statue with a giant erection?”

“But the DJ looks like a pedo!”

“Shower gangnam style!”
“You want to shower with a bunch of dancing Koreans? Well, I suppose you could fit a few in the cubicle …”

“It’s MacGyver!”
“MacGyver is awesome in any language.”

“Worst death scene ever. It’s like keepie-uppie with bullets.”

“THAT’S Dieter Bohlen!” (points at TV, which of course cuts to the Germany’s Got Talent contestant)
“Wow, he’s REALLY changed.”

“He looks like he’s about to suck blood. Vampire in a tent.”

“Does Emperor Palpatine sound better in German? Or no, it should be Italian.”
“Italian?”
“He looks like the Pope and he’s Italian.”
“No, the Pope is actually German.”
“Swings and roundabouts.”

“The waterfall smelled better than this tea.”

“Is this a dogging site?”

“Those are lumberjacks. You’re thinking what I’m thinking!”
“They are lumberjacks and they’re okay, they sleep all night and they work all day!”
“Unless they’re insomniacs, in which case they’re awake all night and work all day. Kind of like you. Wait, you’re a lumberjack?!”

“I figured it out last night. The guy who bit my boob was Austrian.”

There might be some more of these things some time next week, because we can't share all the stuff at once. Also, there might be more by then. Tschüss!

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