Thursday, 16 May 2013

Son of a gun, we'll have some MORTAL PERIL on the Bayou

So there we were, party of three stranded in the middle of a swamp on an oil drilling platform, where we after much deliberation decided to spend the night. In the morning, after shooting an alligator right between the eyes, we started heading back to Manchac ... this time without a guide.

We came across some redneck trappers, who were apparently both hairy and Cajun (they still exist!), and who later decided to kill us. They caught Sutcliffe and Murphy in beaver traps, and we had a hard time getting out of there.

Fortunately, Sutcliffe made them pay for the ambush. Unfortunately, he left the battle with a hole where his chest used to be. Seeing as how he's Harrowed (YES, HATCH AND MURPHY FINALLY REALISED!), it meant he didn't stay dead. As the trappers so rudely tried to get rid of us, we looted their bodies before continuing back to the town. Murphy passed out from exhaustion, as we hadn't thought to pack any food. Fortunately, she woke up and could take the train with Hatch, while Sutcliffe (bundled up in beaver pelts) had to pay double for his ticket.

Back in New Orleans, Sutcliffe came back from the dead the next day, and he finally had some 'splainin' to do!

Courtesy of Wednesday 8 May 2013's Deadlands Noir adventure at Chimera.


Player 1: “Don’t you feel the eyes of the most handsome vampire EVER burning at your back?”
Player 2 (looks behind, sees Twilight poster): “That’s not a vampire.”

“This is what happens when you employ a paranoid cockroach to handle your security system!”

“You have an irrational fear of babies!”

“No child runs up to people and willingly pees on them.”
“Babies do!”

“When the monster runs out of NPCs, you know you’re next.”

GM: “Do you want to loot the body?”
Hatch: “Damn straight!”

GM: “Is that a good time for me to roll a 100?”

GM: “As a party, I think you need a certain navigational implement: a moral compass.”

GM: “You didn’t get supplies. All you have is whiskey.”
Hatch: “What more do you need?”

“A machete is slightly too big to use in surgery, so …”

“Hatch is the scaredy-cat on 13.”
“Because I raised an eyebrow?”

“It’s beginning to explain a lot about your mental state.”

“$100! If we had known he was carrying that, we would’ve killed him sooner!”

“Sour cherries?”
“They look like scrotums. Well, we DID say we were missing the scrota.”

Murphy: “10. What can I say? I’m resourceful.”
GM: “Succeeding is so uncalled for.”

Sutcliffe: “I take a deep sip of my pipe. Wait, I’ve been doing that all journey.”

“Manchac … kinda sounds like MAN SHACK! The place that sells MAN THINGS!”

“We survived the swamp monster, and now we’ll be taken prisoners by inbreds who want to make us their man-wives.”

GM: “Make a Strength roll.”
Sutcliffe: “What?”
GM: “Make a Strength roll.”
Sutcliffe (grinning): “No, still can’t hear you!”

“It’s all fun and games until someone gets caught in a bear trap. Then it’s a roleplaying game.”

“I was getting up to go to the loo and I automatically thought Win-L to lock my computer. I’ve been conditioned!”

(After several abysmal rolls, Murphy gets shot at and open-ends in a spectacular fashion)
Player: “Are you telling us we should shoot at her next time?”

GM: “You’re the vengeance kill.”
Sutcliffe: “I can live with that. Or maybe I can’t. Hey, I’m already dead!”

“I like that the old age pensioner is the meatshield.”

Hatch: “Do we see THROUGH his guts now?”
GM: “Yes.”

Murphy: “Can we feed him alligator?”
Hatch: “Stuff it, let’s feed him redneck!”

“If he IS a zombie, he’s a good zombie.”

“What kind of anti-heroes are we? Searching the bodies for booze.”

“Actually, it’s the same thing, isn’t it, cousins and wives.”
“It’s like the royal family!”

“I’ll arrange some food and drink for my friend. Obviously not the corpse.”
“Corpsist!”

“Who’s a zombie? I’m Harrowed!”
“Are we being corpsist again?”

GM: “How do you feel about hairy Cajuns now?”
Player: “Better now they’re dead!”

GM: “What have you learned? Being private eyes isn’t as profitable as hanging around swamps murdering people!”

“We’ll try to be less corpsist next week.”

Well ... we tried, but we didn't quite succeed ... ;)

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