Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Aberrations of evolution, as chosen by God

Things turned interesting for the group this session. While the men in the group hid to avoid detection, Tilly tried shielding the girl/victim we found and ended up being hidden in plain sight. Something's obviously going on there.

Eddie went berserk with his axe, Zolistagol got to speak Russian ("Vladivostok!") and Trevor ... had his skin badly burned. To soothe it, Tilly grabbed some holy water from her bag (like you do), and lo and behold, the witch had apparently obtained magical powers, and the skin started healing!

After much ado, we ended up torching the warehouse to destroy evidence (might have accidentally burned someone alive, but hey ho), borrowed a fake brick of Nazi gold from the Russian mob, and the girl wasn't perhaps so much as a victim but a ghoul in training, or something like that. She wanted feeding to complete the process, and unfortunately, we were on the menu. No gratitude at all, that one.

We tied her hands and locked her in one of the bathrooms at Trevor's. And then we were visited by Tony the Ghoul, who told us what was actually going on. By that point, we couldn't really say sorry, we'd rather stay in with a pizza, beer and watch the Rams game on Sky Sports.

Courtesy of Wednesday 27 November 2013's Hunter: The Reckoning roleplaying session at Chimera.


Eddie: “This is unsettling. Are you telling me in two days, I’ve come to LIKE Trevor?”

Zolistagol: “Trevor’d be standing there with a smoking gun in his bag and get away with it.”
Eddie: “Whereas we’d all be locked away for the next 15 years, and he’d be looking at us with his cup of coffee.”
Trevor: “Tea, my friend. Tea.”

GM: “You no longer notice Tilly or the girl. If you look at them, your gaze sort of slides off them.”
Tilly: “I’m trying to decide if this is good or bad.”

Player 1: “Have you had any of this?”
Player 2: “Yes, two pieces.”
Player 1: “Good!” (grabs cake)
Player 3: “Everyone’s had a piece, so now it’s open season.”

Trevor: “Unfortunately, I’ve now broken the law. The bag is open. I repeat: the bag is open!”

Player: “We’re now in what we call a ‘failed op’.”
GM: “It’s not failed until someone pulls the trigger … at the wrong time.”

“They don’t look like the sort of people who’d ask permission.”

“Can we have a zoomed in map?”
“Spot the problem player!”

Eddie: “MY Axcalibur is better than HIS axe.”

Zolistagol: “We’re the good guys.”
Trevor: “Of course we are. We’re chosen by God.”
Tilly: “Which god is that, exactly?”
Trevor: “ALL OF THEM.”

“Useful having a map, isn’t it? I can now smile smugly.”

Another table: “… With his laser cock.”
Our table: “That’s an odd thing to randomly overhear.”

Eddie: “Man, they might be GOOD! Oh noooo!”

“It’s a warehouse that wasn’t in use. That’s why there are so many frequent travellers there at ten o’clock at night.”

“Four successes on two dice.”
“You’ve rolled statistically better than is possible. Next time I need to make a roll, will you roll for me?”

GM: “He’s not seen who you’ve done it do, but he’ll make an appropriate Bricking It roll in a minute.”

GM: “Your paranoia kicks in.”
Zolistagol: “It’s never stopped kicking.”

“It makes the time I was hit by a cricket ball in the nuts seem like pleasure! And that HURT!”

Trevor (hysterical because burning hands): “Eddie! Eddie, look! I don’t have fingerprints anymore! I don’t have fingers! I don’t need gloves!”

Trevor: “When I said we were chosen by God before, I was joking! But this actually works!”
Tilly: “You don’t say.”

GM: “Lose one permanent Conviction.”
Tilly: “If it means I get magical powers, hell yes!”

“Like an Ethiopian child, but white. And a teenager.”

“I like to shoot things! And eat bananas!”

Tilly: “Professor, did you bring cable ties?”
Zolistagol: (makes thumbs up) “I also brought chains, padlocks and nail guns.”
Trevor: “… You won’t need the nail gun.”

“You don’t wear gloves? What kind of a criminal ARE you?!”

“You’re the weird one here. What are you looking at me for?”

Tilly: “Do you have a shed we can put her in?”
Trevor: “Are we now in fucking Shaun of the Dead?!”

Another table deduce our topic of conversation: “They clearly have an in-party discussion about housing.”

“Cupboard under the stairs! Fucking Harry Potter her!”

“You’re an ethical murderer, I see.”

Trevor: “Why have they taken my sister and the … I’m not even gonna call him my bodyguard anymore, he’s just a fuckin’ house guest.”

Tony the Ghoul: “He’s called Smith.”
Eddie: “I HATE Smith.”
Trevor: “YOU’RE a Smith.”

“How do you become a NATURAL one of what you are?! Does a mummy and daddy ghoul get together?”

Eddie: “What would YOU say we are?”
Tony the Ghoul: “Aberrations of evolution.”
Trevor (correcting): “Chosen by God.”

Trevor: “Where are we going?”
Zolistagol: “Put it in the satnav: Ghoul’s nest.”
Eddie: “And on Facebook. X has checked in at Ghoul’s nest.”

Tony the Ghoul: “I was a doctor before this.”
Zolistagol: “Shouldn’t you be recommending leeches?”

GM: “Next week will be the last session.”
Player: “That’s what you said last time!”

Contrary to our popular belief, the next session actually turned out to be the last one. For the time being.

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