Wednesday, 29 January 2014

The Accidental Homosexual Incident

Aaaaand we're back!

Gorbash the young dragon, Sir Jayson Oakwood the Cyber Knight and Michael Baradhi the Leywalker/Wizardy type went to the spider creatures to claim Baradhi's reward. (Booker Dayes the gunslinger had been called away to babysi escort a merchant, and was therefore absent.) They said the reward would be ready in a few days, could we perhaps come back later?

The group decided to go to a nearby town and spend the night. While drinking in the local pub, we came across a friend, Gerald, who was drowning his sorrows because his wife's merchant caravan had gone missing. Could we perhaps look into it for him? Seeing as how he offered us $300k for the trouble, who were we to say no?

When talk turned to heading to bed, Gerald somehow interpreted our response to mean we wanted to join him. In bed. This made him uncomfortable, although we had no idea what he was on about. It did cause some tension later, when Baradhi woke up to find Gorbash leaning over Sir Jayson's sleeping body, nose to nose ... Said Cyber Knight has been having (k)nightmares recently, and might or might not involve having a Necromancer as a nemesis.

Gorbash made a new friend, female dragon Ixchel, in whose territory Gorbash spends a lot of time. Fortunately, she's a friendly kind of dragon. Unlike Milan, from the previous adventure, who would rather see Gorbash dead, so now both Baradhi and Jayson now want to have the title Dragonslayer. No reason.

Oh yeah, and the shipment thingy? Found the transport ... and the bony remains of two bodies, one of which seemed to belong to Gerald's wife.

Courtesy of Wednesday 15 January 2014's Rifts roleplaying session at Chimera.


“I’m not a smuggler. That one … those TWO times don’t count! Three! But I didn’t know it was a dragon egg.”

“It was wrong, very wrong. – Is that bacon?”

Jayson: “I rush in, wild-eyed and sweaty. Several Tumblr accounts will post gifs of this moment.”

GM: “It’s a dragon you haven’t sensed before. It’s a dragon your PARENTS haven’t sensed before.”
Player: “Sniff her bum!”

Ixchel: “Thank you.”
Player 1: “It’s Carmilla!”
Player 2: “Run!”

“It’s okay, because I have allies.”
“Let’s hope we don’t get to that point, shall we?”

“Does that make her a paedophile?”
“No, it makes her a cougar.”
(Ixchel is 600 years old, Gorbash is about four weeks old)

Our table: “Or maybe she just wants someone to fertilise her eggs.”
Other table: “What game are you playing?!”

GM: “He’s turning into a dragon.”
Player: “They grow up so fast these days.”

“You’ve all got your coats on.”
“You’ve got your Sweden coat on.”
(Basically, he wasn’t wearing a coat)

“This is why we can’t have nice things. Because you don’t think things through.”

“If she survives the journey.”
“The way he was going on about his loveheart necklace, she’s DEFINITELY going to die.”

“Are there no gay dragons?”

Gorbash: “I’m not opposed to interspecies sex, but he was UGLY!”

Baradhi: “I’m drunk and I’m going to bed.”
Jayson: “Hey, that’s MY bed. Are you trying to tell me something?”

“So do we get murdered in the night?”

GM: “Jayson’s writhing in bed, sweating, and like---”
Player: “A lot of gifs are coming?”

Gorbash: “Do I recognise the creature?”
GM: “Yes, it’s a human. They all look the same.”

(On waking up to see Gorbash leaning over the sleeping Jasyon)
Baradhi: “What are you two doing? Actually, I don’t want to know.”

Jayson: “That would be very noble of you.”
Gorbash: “Yes, it would. I’m sure I’ll find some time to assist you on your quest.”

“This is the homoerotic episode.”
“The DRUNK homoerotic episode.”

“Are you sure you don’t know the destination of this shipment? I suddenly become very sober.”

“By the way, your wife was eaten. I hope she was tasty.”
“The epitome of compassion.”

“I break it to him gently, in a manly fashion: there, there. You’ll get over it. There are plenty more fish in the sea.”

“Gorbash, could you put the truck down, please?”

“Only four weeks old and he already has gender issues.”

“I didn’t steal anything. The guy was dead. Looking isn’t stealing.”

For the next session, we were re-joined by Booker Dayes!

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