Wednesday, 19 February 2014

PB&Z sandwich with a side of squishy mage

As Jayson woke up all sweaty and squee-worthy from the bad dream, Gorbash headed out of the window to find the zombies that were allegedly on the way. While waiting, Jayson got dressed (bow-chicka-bow-wow) and Baradhi went downstairs to help himself to a drink.

There were indeed zombies on the way. And a mage.

We slew the zombies (hard buggers they were too), and in a stroke of genius, Gorbash flew down and grabbed hold of the mage ... squishing him to pieces. Apparently that worked better than trying to shoot him with firebolts and laser cannons. He then went on to see if the body or the head would hit the ground first, because science, and because Gorbash is a young dragon eager to learn.

When we got back to HQ, Baradhi went and got tooled up in a weapons shop. He got a number of grenades, despite Jayson's objections. Baradhi didn't get himself any kind of skills to be able to handle the grenades - much to the seller's dismay - but at least he got a friendly cyborg to help train him a little.

While Baradhi practiced his new explosive toys, Jayson practiced with his new bow and arrow and then went to bed and finally got some proper sleep. Meanwhile, Gorbashi surveyed the land in dragon form only to find a place in the distance with the charming name Soul Harvest, which is probably where we need to go. Yay.

Courtesy of Wednesday 5 February 2014's Rifts roleplaying session at Chimera.


“Let’s have a peanut butter and zombie sandwich.”
“… YOU can have that.”

“Janette? ‘The Murderer of Gerald’s Wife’ is how she should be known.”

GM: “You can’t say it was the gateway, you only saw the box!”

Baradhi: “I can serve myself, I don’t mind.”
GM: “The barkeep will.”

Player: “We can leave him hands, so he can write.”
GM: “If he CAN write.”

Baradhi: “I’ll hit the mage with a powerbolt.”
GM: “Oh, you MEANIE!”

GM: “He must have cast some sort of displacement spell, because the dragon failed to catch him.”

Gorbash: “What’s the range on that, though?”
Baradhi: “Throw.”
GM: “Mages are so well-known for their throwing skills.”

Gorbash: “2d6? It should be 20d6 considering I could Jellybaby his head.”

“These humans are so brittle. Bits keep falling off!” (because zombies)

GM: “The zombie falls to the ground. I would say dead, but he was dead when he started.”

“Harvesters are either Nxla cultists or they own a chain of restaurants.”

“Considering what they’re called, my guess was right.”
“That they come with a free salad bar?”

“You’re doing a science experiment with a severed head?”

Gorbash: “When I crushed him, most of his stuff squeezed out.”

GM: “Literacy isn’t a very common skill, except on heroes and adventurers.”

GM: “I don’t know how to deal with this, so I’m gonna make shit up.”

Jayson (cleaving a body in twain): “I’m not trying to deface the corpse, by the way. I’m just making sure he’s fucking DEAD.”

Jayson: “So we basically have a crematorium as a friend.”
Gorbash: “Aaaaw, you say the nicest things!”

GM: “Greyfriars? That can’t be right.”
Player: “No, they’re the ones that bury kings in car parks.”

“It’s a place called Soul Harvest? If we had seen THAT on the map, it would have been our first port of call!”

GM: “You don’t have any strange dreams.”
Jayson: “Thank fuck for that.”

“Yeah, I saw it. It was there-ish.”

“Can I get a grenade launcher while we’re here? I don’t know how to use one, but it’s more fun if you don’t.”

GM: “He shows you the buttons and then tells you to leave.”

“I’ll put it on my skill shopping list.”

Baradhi: “I’m gonna have to PRACTICE with this? That’s no good.”

Player (to Baradhi): “You’re concerning the gun nut.”
GM: “It’s the first time you’ve seen a fully commercial cyborg with sweat on his forehead.”

“‘Ere be death.”
“Yeah, because ‘Ere be Dragons’ is everywhere else.”

“Let’s put tons of explosives on the mage while the dragon distracts.”

Baradhi: “Why don’t you just give him four pints of blood?”
Gorbash: “I look at you like you’ve just said ‘why don’t you stick your penis in a grater?’”

The GM reckons we have two sessions left. Or actually, what he said was: "Two sessions ... or 15 years the way you guys are going."

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