Do you sell disposable shotguns?

We had food again, which Eddie found himself actually enjoying (even though it was a really poncy kebab with green things in it).

We planned.

We got attacked.

At Trevor's mansion decent-sized house, after catching up with Agatha and the woman we kept safely locked up in an upstairs bathroom and sending the latter on her merry way now that she's feeling better, a brain-sucking creature was going to stick its tentacles in Tilly's head, but luckily, Trevor was there to blow most of the creature away and scare off the other one. He needs to find himself some disposable shotguns because every time he uses one, it blows up thanks to the wrath of God.

At Tommy's there was strange writing on the walls and in his wardrobe, a mysterious hat box. With a big stone egg in it that couldn't be knocked over. It was so peculiar that he decided to put it in the bin for safe-keeping.

Eddie called one of his "cleaners" to Tommy's, seeing as how there were some corpses there from last week's session (not to mention this one), and the guys all decided to help - even when the instructions were "here, help me cut up these bodies". Zolistagol appeared to fit into the role of butcher a little too readily ...

Arriving at the rather gory scene, Tilly freaked out so much she went to watch Top Gear on Dave, later uttering things like "the Bugatti Veyron is a good car, apparently".

Courtesy of Wednesday 9 April 2014's Hunter: The Reckoning roleplaying session at Chimera.

“Yeah but she’s protected by--”
“Psycho Man.”

“She tried to eat my face!”
“And you’re quite fond of your face and stuff, so you didn’t let her.”

Eddie: “I can’t resist the temptation of having food paid for by a judge that isn’t part of a prison sentence.”

“Isn’t it interesting how the Apocalypse will be centred around Derby?”
“No, it was bound to happen.”

“I remember those. I was busy attacking them.”

GM: “You return to the mansion. Sorry, estate.”
Trevor (correcting): “Decent-sized house.”

GM: “And with that, we switch scenes to the three stooges.”
Player (correcting): “Three musketeers.”

“Can we stop by my house on the way there? I have a bag of my own I need to get.”

GM: “You recognise one of the languages as French.”
Eddie: “I don’t admit to that. People don’t need to know I’ve been schooled.”

“If you look carefully you might be able to see it.”
“You don’t need to look carefully, it’s all over the bloody wall!”

“He’s glowing in many different colours.”
“He’s Joseph!”

“Were you planning to wear this on your head?!” (big stone egg hiding in a hat box)

“Let’s hatch a dragon egg, that sounds like GREAT idea.”

“I need characters to balance out my Shadowrun character, so I’m not allowed to make this one evil!”

“Take a shot and watch the kitchen being murdalised.”


“Do you sell disposable shotguns?”

GM: “That’s the surprise round over.”
Player: “We WERE surprised.”

Player: “Three successes.”
GM: “Son of a b… I mean: oh.”

Trevor: “I’m NOT having my grounds used as a burial site for our victims!”

“Axcalibur cost a lot of money and you destroyed it by hacking at a dragon egg.”
“Or WAS it?”

“Is it Brawl, Melee or Athletics to ram a grenade down someone’s throat?”

“Please no. I’m already on fire and I don’t need any more.”

“I take the nail gun out of the bag.”
“Now THAT’S a ranged weapon!”

“Nail gun has now become the weapon of choice.”

“Where are the burned guns, by the way?”
“In the gun cabinet, because that’s where guns are kept!”

Zolistagol: “Before I came here, I worked in an abattoir.”
Player: “Run by the FSB.”

“So essentially, he looks like someone from Troll.”

“He has a duffel bag, he’s gonna kill us all!”

Tommy: “If you leave it there, I’ll put it in the bin.”
Eddie: “Okay, you can hide it in the bin.”

“But with a name like ‘hugger’, how can it be evil?”

GM: “Prepare to face the consequences of messing with the laws of physics.”
Player: “It’s what we do all the time! We’re roleplayers!”

“Tilly’s watching Dave and Top Gear is always on. The Stig is reassuring, somehow.”

“We need to secure the bin. We’ll take it to Trevor.”

“See? We’re not so different after all. You got a cleaner, I got a cleaner.”

I think this gives a whole new meaning to "take it to the cleaners".