Wednesday, 5 November 2014

Adventurers are the worst kind of people

After having named the goblin hostage Sooty, we continued through the woods with him (her? it?) as a guide. It took us through some dangerous bits, and in one particular place, we encountered a wolf pack.

The wolves (there were five of them) surrounded Rhogar. He went down, and failed the first Death Saving throw. As the rest of the party tried to get the wolves off him, what should have been a fairly easy "we have two rounds to heal him" didn't work out as planned, when Rhogar - after the GM prophesised he'd roll a one - rolled a one, thus instantly failing two Death Saves. As you only get three shots at not dying, Rhogar actually died. The rest of the players seemed more upset about this than Rhogar's own player, who immediately started working on rolling up a new character.

Meanwhile, the party went on to find Cragmaw Castle. We managed to find the boss room almost straight away. In it, we found the boss (King Wossname) and a few of his assistants. We also found Gundren, one of Hematite's missing cousins, and a chained-up elf.

Heroic battle win. Gundren was healed, and the elf turned out to be a rogue by the name Theren Siannodel. How fortuitous, we didn't have a rogue in the party before!

We'll miss Rhogar and his weirdly awesome Russian accent, but the adventure isn't over yet.

Courtesy of Wednesday 29 October 2014's 5th Edition Dugeons & Dragons roleplaying session at Chimera.

Dungeons & Dragons

“If we went over to a dice-based economy, roleplayers would be the new aristocracy.”

“You’re going to believe I have a lot of gold, and I’m going to believe you have a lot of gold.”
“Welcome to the modern banking system!”

“Oh my god, you actually rolled initiative! With a number and everything!”

“Natural 20.”
“Who are you and what have you done with P?”

“Whatever he chooses to do with slave races is nothing to do with you.”

Player 1: “How do you spell ‘Sooty’?”
Player 2: “S.O.O.T.Y. Or you could use the alternative spelling ‘Suty’.”
Player 3: “No. That’s too Syfy Channel.”
Player 2: “You take that back.”

“We don’t have to kill everything we meet, you know.”

“They taste very artificial, I find.”
“Says the one who brings the turpentine!” (Red Vines)

Rhogar’s player: “It’s okay, I wasn’t that attached to him.”
Other player: “But WE were!”

Rhogar: “Tan! Tan! I’m haunting you now!”

“Haven’t you got a bonus on Stealth?”
“I do.”
“So what did you roll?”
“Five.”

“I’m the best at sneaking. I’m even trained in it. But I can’t see anything.”

“Who designs a room like this?”
“Sadists.”

“Did you say you have plenty of spare character sheets?”

GM: “You see a stripped naked elf in bondage gear stuck to the wall.”
Player: “Seriously, dude, what the hell?”

“Stubbed toe level of hurt or missing an arm level of hurt?”
“Squinting his eyes level of hurt.”

“I did the math along the way because I was really excited.”

Player: “So I guess Gundren’s dead.”
Hematite: “We don’t know that yet! I can still go ‘NOOOOO!’ and heal him. It’s my cousin, so I’m highly motivated!”

Malinda: “Don’t. Touch. My. Sooty.”
Player: “Is that a euphemism?”

“Who are you?”
“We’re the worst kind of people. We’re adventurers!”

Malinda: “Where did I come from?”
Player (singing): “Where did you go? Where did you come from, Cottoneye Joe!”

“Here’s some gold with blood on it.” (offers to Theren)

Gundren: “Longsword’s a fairy weapon.”
Theren: “My father was an excellent swordsman, I’ll have you know!”
Gundren: “Like I said. Fairy weapon.”

Tan: “We’ve killed three ogres already.”
Theren: “What do you want, and ogre-slaying medal?”
Malinda: “I didn’t know there was one.”

“If we live, we probably level up. Or we die.”

“I don’t like owlbears.”
“I’m starting to go off them as well.”

All we need to do now is to get out of Cragmaw Castle alive ...

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