Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Corsets are like Chinese finger traps

Here's a collection of quotes from our Victoriana game, played over a few weeks in July and August 2012. It's what's known as a filler post, as we boardgamed last week and the week before that.

Nothing in particular happened in this episode, because basically, we were just generating characters. It means that things are pretty sane, as opposed to what happened when we finally started playing.

The demonologist didn't end up joining the game in the end, but anyhoo.

Courtesy of 24 July 2012's 2nd Edition Victoriana adventure at Chimera.


“We live on a proper street. When it was the Jubilee, there was a street party. There was jam and everything. Okay, maybe not jam. Hamburgers. And children. And you wouldn’t bring kids to a drug bust.”

“Corsets are like Chinese finger traps for peoples and torsos.”

“How do you sell people on your 6d6 stuff?”
“He doesn’t.”

“I object to the fact that I’ve been drunk ‘again’. I haven’t been drunk since Saturday!”

“Let’s have a pathetic life-off! We’ll go home depressed and cry.”

“You only have one problem with this story, and it’s that I don’t believe in Moscow.”
“You don’t believe in Moscow? You can’t not believe in Moscow.”
“Yes you can. I’ve never been! Apart from once that you’re telling me, but besides that, not when I’m remembering, so it might just be a thing on a map. Until you see it. I don’t believe in Seattle either.”

“Large parts of America are just made up.”

“He’s called Bob Affette.”
“You’re a horrible person.”

“Congratulations on this being the third game where you’re NOT the evil guy.”

Unlike: “So my job on the ship is to do nothing.”
Cid: “Well, unless we get into any sort of boarding frenzy.”
Unlike: “I’m not any sort of combatant! If we get into some kind of boarding frenzy, I will be busy.”
Cid: “Yeah, cutting all the ropes.”
Unlike: “Running away!”

“What CAN you do?”
“Pick a pocket or two?”

“Well, kleptomania it is, then!”

“Roses are red, violets are blue, bacon is … nice, I … like bacon.”

“Poems are hard … bacon.”

“Roses are red, so is bacon.”

“I’m a nice guy.”
“Who summons demons.”
“And makes people insane.”

“BOOM! No longer in existence.”
“I have a license.”

“Don’t look at me, you’re the mage.”

“This is precisely the reason I always keep an imp in my pants.”

“I’m two feet tall, he’s seven! I’m an imp!”
“Divebomb his face!”
“Okay!”

“You know how he’s been providing us with dead Japanese school girls?”

“I haven’t taken the trait, I just smell.”

Mage: “Stay out of view, I’m not licensed to summon you!”
Imp: “Can I eat that?”
Mage: “No, it would damn you eternally.”
Imp: “Bring it! I’ll give you terrible indigestion!”

Imp: “My name is not Malapraxis, it’s Bob.”
Bob: “Hey! I’M Bob!”
Imp: “It’s a common name! See you in the pits of hell!”

“Why is your chicken yelling at me?”

“That sorts it, I’m being the freaking imp!”
“Screw you guys, I’m playing another game.”

“I did not ask you for dead Japanese girls.”
“I’m pretty sure you did.”

“I’m an absent-minded Demonologist. Where did I put that portal to hell?”

“The entire game, the Demonologist is just locked in a room with his imp. For once, that’s not a euphemism.”

“We said this the last time: no people.”
“I’m a demon, what did you expect?”
“Not people.”

For next week's post, we'll mostly be playing Deadlands: Hell on Earth!

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