I like my character but I don’t like my dice

One player down, we had a session where we couldn't start the Hell on Earth adventure, but instead of doing a boardgame like we'd normally do, we had a one-shot Dungeons & Dragons adventure. Or part of one, at any rate.

Our usual D&D GM would like to get to play the game as well as GM it, so I volunteered to do it, but having never run an adventure from a printed book we thought maybe I should give it a try first and see if I was comfortable doing it. Turns out I was so comfortable that I nearly wiped the party on their very first encounter. ;)

The players rolled up new level one characters to use going forward (that way they could get to try them out as well) and then we did as far as we had time for of part one of the 5th Edition starter pack adventure - being ambushed by goblins, finding a cave and so on.

Courtesy of Tuesday 7 April 2015's 5th Edition Dugeons & Dragons roleplaying session at Chimera.

Dungeons & Dragons

“I refuse to be a witness to those stats. I did not see him roll.”

Player: “Can I choose which dice I roll?”
GM: “No, you can’t roll the cheat dice.”

“They normally have Steam sales on Black Friday or Black Monday, or Orange Wednesdays, or whatever they’re called.”

“We could both make bards and see who makes the loudest music.”
“We could have a band!”

“Surely the argument for having children is to indoctrinate them into gaming as early as possible.”
“I like how you use the word ‘indoctrinate’ there.”
“Well, the word ‘brainwash’ has such negative connotations.”

“Can I borrow some paper? Because I’m a good guy and can’t eat properly.”

“When I go from bird to hoarse, I will have to stop.”

“I thought you were going to say the next revelation will be the narration.”

“We have no cleric, do we? This could be a very short adventure.”

GM: “They were shot with arrows. In the woods. By … something. – I was trying to do Cluedo but it didn’t really work out for me.”

“Would you like to borrow a d4?”
“No, I don’t trust your dice. I don’t entirely trust my dice either, but …”

“Because you went down, I can’t do my sneak attack.”
“It wasn’t willingly!”

GM: “It’s okay, you haven’t tried being unconscious yet.”

GM: “He hit you in the right leg. You took an arrow to the knee.”
Player: “Oh no, that means I can’t be an adventurer anymore!”

GM: “I would offer you a d8 but you don’t trust my dice.”

Player: “You named the goblins?”
GM: “Yes, they have families to get home to.”

“You know how you said you only need to roll a die to kill goblins?”

“You can’t eat jellybeans with a beak!”

“That’s a miss. I took his advice and rolled a 2.”

“Now’s the time to roll my d12.” (rolls 13)
“That’s a d20.”

“I like my character but I don’t like my dice.”

Well, considering the near party wipe, that almost didn't pan out. On the plus side, we now have someone who can run the next D&D adventure ... after we play a bit of Hell on Earth.