Tuesday, 19 May 2015

This conversation has ceased to make sense

After examining some shallow graves, the party headed over to some kind of tower that they could see in the distance. We were intercepted by ginormous insects that tried to eat us. Adventurers, like we are prone to do, dispatched of them. Kyla took some of the meat with her, because it seemed a good idea at the time.

The tower was full of knights and things. They had a kitchen full of new recruits trying to make dinner, and Kyla wanted to cook the insect meat. There was only one initiate who didn't consider the underground-dwelling ankhegs to be too "spiritually dirty" to eat, but he was probably just starving.

The party was invited to stay for dinner, and the entertainment of the evening turned out to be manticore hunting. Again, the monster was dispatched. There's clearly nothing odd about this order of so-called knights. Nothing at all ...

Courtesy of Tuesday 12 May 2015's 5th Edition Dugeons & Dragons roleplaying session at Chimera.

Dungeons & Dragons

“So the step up from Irish stereotype is ‘sexually frustrated Jack Russell’? This conversation has ceased to make sense.”

“Are you disapproving my singing?”
“No, I’m approving.”
“Ah. You must be deaf.”

GM: “Has anyone got Nature?”
Player 1: “No.”
GM: “Survival?”
Player 2: “No, we already established that.”
GM: “Has anyone seen them before?”
Player 3: “Not with these stats!”

“You Matrix out of the way of the acid spit.”

“It’s my only offensive spell.”
“Shoot it! With a crossbow!”

“I’m surprised you know what a dot matrix printer is, you’re so young.”
“I know what old things are. The only difference between us is that I don’t keep going on about them as if they were amazing.”

“I don’t know why we’re staying. They have nothing to offer us.”
“Bacon.”

“25 Stealth.”
“Oh yeah, you’re practically Batman.”

“I don’t care about your sob story, I’m talking about me.”

Short but sweet. See you next week!

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