Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Can I use the ship's guns to shoot something on the planet from space?

Arranging a visit to the planet down below, the Captain and the Librarian were very nearly ambushed by some Chaos beings. Fortunately, the Chaos beings were taken care of by the cunning use of the Arkadius's onboard guns, blasting the Chaos to bits from space. A warning flare was totally fired beforehand, honest guv ... *cough* There's a fetching new crater on the planet now.

The actual, human, residents of the planet were much nicer.

Then some Dark Eldar came along, but umm, we may have shot them slightly - using the bigger guns of the derelict ship and a blatant disregard of the laws of physics. But hey, at least they weren't pirates out trying to steal the ship (again), and hopefully the Explorator won't have picked up the super virus from a transmission he listened in to.

Courtesy of Tuesday 21 July 2015's Rogue Trader roleplaying session at Chimera.

Rogue Trader logo

“The eyebrow waggle really made that work!”

“I don’t think you need that many dice.”
“I can still have them.”

“The Librarians are what’s known as murderers.”
“Combat specialists.”

“We were happier when you were failing these rolls. Stop succeeding!”

“That’s no moon!”
“Well, no, that IS a moon, but the thing behind it isn’t.”

“That’s no moon! It’s an egg, like in that weird Doctor Who episode.”

Fulgentius: “We have a serious problem.”
Rusty: “It’s pirates, isn’t it?”
Fulgentius: “No, it’s much worse.”
Rusty: “WORSE than pirates?!”

“What’s the Rogue Trader’s name?”
“Pompous McPompousness?”

GM: “Give the players a fully armed battleship, they said. It will go horribly wrong, they said. Oh no it didn’t! This is perfect!”

GM: “Would you like to use different dice?”
Player: “Oh no, these have been rolling nice and high.”

GM: “For the next few days when you go to the toilet, the toilets laugh at you. You don’t know why. They just do.”

Fulgentius: “If my disembodied head could look at you with disdain, that’s what it does.”

Orlandis: “I have a better idea.”
Fulgentius: “I get worried when Orlandis has a better idea.”

“70 metres is the better part of a kilometre, isn’t it?”
“No, a kilometre is a thousand metres.”
“I’m hoping against hope.”

GM: “Oh my god, there are so many actions you can take.”

GM: “40k is a dangerous place, mate.”

“Oh yeah, this is the weird-ass damage system that makes no sense for the first five seconds.”

GM: “Your servo skull isn’t sentient.”
Player: “I refuse to acknowledge that.”

GM: “You can make a dodge action.”
Player: “You never mentioned that last round!”

“Guards win?”
“Guards get murdered.”

“It’s still my turn! I’m still alive! I’m not dead yet!”

“I’m in a ship that technically can’t do this manoeuver! Fuck you, physics!”

GM: “Back to the seriousness and darkness that is 40k. Less laughter, more emo and sadness.”

GM: “I’m gonna have to run a separate campaign of Dark Heresy to track down you guys.”
Player: “We haven’t done anything yet!”
GM: “‘Yet’.”

“Oh god, it’s like Heretic scrota.”

“You’re rolling like I did last session.”
“Yeah, thanks for that.”

“I did better than Rhogar. I’m happy with that.”

This is what we call being off to a flying start! :D

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