Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Is he supposed to be good?

We were supposed to play a boardgame last session but two people couldn't make it, a third one pulled out last minute and since there were just three of us left we decided to cancel the session altogether and have an early night instead.

So, filler post time. This is the second semi-final of Eurovision Song Contest 2015, because that's the filler post I have in stock at the moment.

A quick re-cap: Austria won in 2014, meaning the two semi-finals and one final were hosted in Vienna. Brits don't really care much for Eurovision, but it's a massive thing in Sweden (spoiler: they won ... again) and there are two Swedes in the roleplaying group, so commenting on Eurovision is kind of a given.

This session was made up of 50% Swedes and 50% Brits, in 100% snark mode.

Courtesy of Thursday 21 May 2015's Eurovision Song Contest second semi-final.

Eurovision Song Contest logo

“Isn’t that Isla Fisher?” (Lithuania)

“So it’s more thematic and less Irish.” (Ireland)

“I didn’t know Jemini had dual citizenship.” (San Marino)

“Has she put the brooch from the guy on Tuesday on her head?” (Montenegro)

“What language do they speak in Montenegro? Montenegroan?”
“Foreign.”

“Isn’t that the same dress Adele wore?” (Malta)

“I shouldn’t have cancelled the game on Saturday. All of these acts are really boring.”

“There are a lot of duets. They all start with the man and then the woman comes in. It’s like a trope.”

“You know what this needs? A fiddle.” (Norway)

“It’s an album-track, but I probably wouldn’t buy the album.” (Portugal)

“She’s watched too much 50 Shades of Grey.” (Portugal)

“Is this from an Andrew Lloyd Webber play? Sounds like it could be at the moment.” (Czech Republic)

“He sounds well foreign.” (Czech Republic)

“He was quite Nickelback and she was Evanescence.”
“But no one likes Nickelback.”
“Well, I didn’t like him.” (Czech Republic)

“Those shoes … he’s a cock.” (Israel)

“It’s like having Turkey back in the competition.” (Israel)

“Am I not allowed to talk shit about this because at least they went with a theme on stage?” (Latvia)

“It’s like being at the dentist. Waiting for it to be over.” (Latvia)

“This year it’s not Eurovision, it’s Top of the Pops. Without Jimmy Savile.”

“I can’t even remember the songs before this one.” (Azerbaijan)

“Do you reckon they’re Falling Skies rejects? Because they’re harnessed.”
“It’s begun!” (Azerbaijan)

“The moon in the background is quite nice.”
“If that’s your take-away from this, that’s probably not a good sign.” (Azerbaijan)

“She has the same power as your paladin! Golden footsteps!” (Iceland)

“Would you class her as quite poor?”
“How can she be poor with all that gold everywhere?” (Iceland)

“If she had an autotuner, she could be Britney Spears.” (Iceland)

“How do you pronounce the name?”
“Måns Zelmerlöw.”
“Sell me luurve?!” (Sweden)

“Is he supposed to be good?” (Sweden)

“He’s one of the better singers tonight, but the bar is very low.” (Sweden)

“What’s going on with this one?”
“Same as all the other acts, but she’s black.” (Switzerland)

“‘One thing I should have done’? Learn to sing?” (later) “He’ll go through. Top five. He can actually sing.” (Cyprus)

“Is that Fearne Cotton? … No.” (Slovenia)

“Do you know what the problem is with Poland’s entry?”
“It looks like a Lenor advert?”
“Not enough milk churning.”

“It sounds popular, but it could just be a lot of Swedes in the audience.”

“You know what would have made Poland better?”
“Milk churning?”
“A mech suit.”

We are horrible, horrible people. Which is probably why we enjoy Cards Against Humanity so much ... Back to actual gaming of some sort next week!

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