Monday, 28 March 2016

Stop making me out to be space Jesus!

We made it back to the (formerly) Imperial dreadnought and were patched up as well we could. Sarge still hasn't quite got his eyesight back, but maybe he will. Someone decided to put a torpedo next to Nole's sick bed in a bid to be friendly (it wasn't a gun so it didn't really work).

NG was less thrilled to have us back - mainly because the condition in which we returned the ship ...

Then we were fired upon. All hands on deck to blow the attacker out of the sky! Kon, flowerless but in much better health than some of her shipmates, pushed the dreadnought to its limits. Unfortunately, the intruders still managed to get on board, but that's what guns are for, right?

Courtesy of Monday 21 March 2016's Fantasy Flight Star Wars roleplaying session at Chimera.

Star Wars Roleplaying Game

“Speaking as someone who isn’t a programmer ... LOL?”

Player 1: “Apparently I eat pizzas wrong.”
Player 2: “How can you eat pizza wrong?!”
Player 3: “He eats the crust first.”
Player 2: “Oh yeah, that IS a bit wrong.”

“I think these dice want me to be a Sith.”

“Now listen here, you flowerless bitch!”
“Does that mean she’s gluten free?”

“Doc de-flowered her.”

“You know ‘your mum’ jokes … sometimes they don’t work in a contextual situation. This was one of those times.”

“His sense of humour is still there.”
“Or lack thereof.”

“I don’t like how the GM’s looking at adversaries when we’re on the ship … and sorting out dice.”

“What is WRONG with you?!”
“You!”

“You could practice in your bedroom. Seems to work for Nole.”
“He’s not wielding a three foot lightsabre!”
“How would YOU know what he calls it?”

GM: “All the other guns are manned at the moment, so unless you shove someone out of the way …”
Player (nodding enthusiastically): “Ye-ah!”

“They won’t know her manoeuvres, because neither do we.”

“Every time I’m on the Internet and say that Wash is dead, someone always says ‘too soon’.”
“As well they should.”

NG’s player: “NG! Droid! Light side! Full of it!”
Player: “Well, he IS full of it.”

“I don’t see a shuttle here. Only Imperial Stormtroopers.”

“I’m an assangineer: I assassinate your engineering problems!”

“How did I power game?”
“You’re power gaming right now!”

“Trump will take over Antarctica and call it South America.”

“How friendly is the fire? It’s very touchy-feely.”

NG: “I wasn’t trying to kill you.”
Sarge: “Suuuuure. NG, assassin droid turned engineer droid for mysterious purposes.”
GM: “Not mysterious, he was re-programmed.”

“Two and six are NOT the same. – You work in purchase and accounting!!”

Player: “I have a small question.”
GM: “I have a small answer.”

“We don’t have plot anymore, we have the dice rolled at the beginning of the session, which fucks us over for the rest of it.”

GM: “What do you want to do?
Player: “I want to be somewhere else.”

“It’s LDS, Loaded Dice Syndrome.”
“Not Latter Day Saints?”

Nole: “Are we rounding them up or killing them?”
Sarge: “If they resist.”
Nole: (instantly shoots someone) “He resisted.”

“NG, have you been hitting the gym? I didn’t know that worked for droids.”
“I thought you said ‘have you been hitting the gin’.”
“Probably.”

“I’m still space-googling restraint bolts.”

GM: “That’s how I’m doing it anyway, so fuck you.”

“I heard Sarge’s tears can cure cancer. It’s a shame he never cries.”

“I once went to his room. He grows flowers by his mere presence!”

“Stop making me out to be space Jesus!”

“Where are you?”
“Deck of … ass end of nowhere.”
“What does the nearest bulkhead say?”
“Ass end of nowhere.”
“Oh yeah, I see it on the map now!”

“Here you go, dearie, your one experience point. Don’t spend it all at once.”
“So GM stands for grandmother?”

“You’re everyone in Yes, Minister except the Minister.”

“They’re like the wonder twins, but together they become dull, drab and the civil service.”

GM: “I’ve got to have some in-jokes for myself.”

“Sometimes it seems you have taste.”

To be ... finished soon? Maybe?

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