Monday, 18 April 2016

Is Booker a good person?

So, to recap: a bunch of people have been sucked through a portal to Nxla's realm. Nxla being an Old One, like Cthulhu and the likes. Not a good place to be. There's a portal and we plan on opening it up just enough to be able to pass through, get the people back out, and get back without bringing Nxla back with us.

Before that, however, seeing as how Booker's epic Chosen One shot saved the rest of us, we went to the nearest city, Magestar, and set up camp at Alistair's, because apparently that's where he lives. We found a male Shemarrian, which is unheard of, and he had apparently been kicked out of his group.

We also met with Joan, a Cyber-knight, who was not too pleased with what Gorbash (backed up by Jayson) had to say about Booker. And to think they didn't even mention the bit about what happened in the Rakshasa territory, or anything about the Symbol of Splugorth, or the symbiote ...

Booker wasn't too keen to talk to her, but we later found out he had been trying to flirt with her. Speaking of flirting, Gorbash went to see Ixchal for some advice about the portal and ended up suggesting that he'd be happy to fertilise her eggs if he survives the whole portal plan thing. They grow up so fast these days!

As the portal neared the southern gate of the city, Booker handed Jayson a letter to be opened on Booker's demise, and then the Chosen One positioned himself atop a building with a sniper rifle. What was feared being a clocktower situation or attempted suicide by cop was in fact Booker expecting a necromancer to show up, and when that happens, he'll be there to take him or her out. Quite reassuring how our first reaction was "oh gods, he's on a killing spree, innocent people are going to die", isn't it?

Surely at some point demigod Elyssia will regret having come to this plane to help out this particular group ...

Courtesy of Monday 11 April 2016's Rifts roleplaying session at Chimera.


“If I mock them, they learn. They don’t want to be mocked again.”

“You iced bun-hating shit.”
“To be fair, iced buns ARE shit.”

“Booker showed up with his plot gun and plotted all over the place.”

“I’m a level 7 pizza eater.”

“That’s like voyagerism without the voyagerism!”
“Voyagerism? Is that like voyeurism with Captain Janeway?”

“Maybe we should go to one of these locations and investigate?”
“But that would bring the plot forward!”

“Touchy woman, eh?”
“You want to touch her? – Sorry, wrong character.”

Booker: “We’ll go in that direction! I’m the Chosen One!”
Elyssia: “You can’t just play the Chosen card whenever!”

Elyssia (talking to herself and Athena): “Honestly, Mother, why him as the Chosen One?”

“How much damage did you take?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t write it down because I’m an idiot.”

“I’m going to say it out loud: I miss the dwarf!”

Alistair: “There’s a female Cyber-knight here.”
Booker (to Jayson): “She may be better-looking than you.”
Jayson: (GLARING, moving away slowly)
Player: “That’s the most offensive thing Booker has ever said to you.”

“Are the Cyber-knights gonna have an attraction-off?”

Player: “The Cyber-knights should sleep together!”
Gorbash: “But don’t you already have someone?”
Jayson: “Maybe it’s an open relationship.”
Player: “It is now!”

Gorbash: “Do you want to go and have a drink?”
Booker: “I’m not thirsty.”
Gorbash: “I didn’t think thirst came into it with humans.”

GM: “I don’t know what he’s doing in the armoury.”
Player 1: “Having a wank?”
Player 2: “He’s not Nole.”
Player 3: “Rapid ... fire!”

“He’s not used to people being friendly. It’s like ...” (flipping through a book searching for something) “‘Friendly, friendly ... I haven’t read that chapter in the book yet’.”

Jayson: “I’m not gonna try to kill a demigod just because she has better hair than me.”
Player 1: “That’s why you’re not going to TRY. ‘Do or do not, there is no try’.”
Player 2: “Only Sith deal in absolutes.”
Player 3: “Yoda was a Sith?!”

Booker: “He’s a mage and mages are dodgy. I used to shoot them for a living.”

Jayson: “Wait, there’s a skill I don’t have?!”

“That was a crappy plan.”
“Yes it was.”

“Do you mind if I touch your mind?”

Joan: “Is Booker a good person?”
Jayson: “Debatable.”

“He hasn’t screwed me over majorly, on a scale from one to fuck.”

Joan (sceptical): “Booker got it from the Grey Seers? Who told you this?”
Gorbash & Jayson: “... Booker?”

Gorbash: “I’m 90 days old and truthful!”
Jayson: “And I’m a fucking KNIGHT. We’re Team Lawful Good!”
Alistair (pointing at self): “Team selfish cunt.”

“So Athena is a MILF?”

Booker: “Why do I keep finding groupies? I must stop finding groupies?”

Player: “He probably has a study and a room for experimental magic?”
GM: “You tell me! I didn’t build your house!”

Joan: “But Cyber-knights are just and fair! He knows that, right?”
Jayson (to Booker): “You know that, right?”

Joan: “Was that a threat?”
Booker: “I don’t do threats. I do promises and agreements.”

“You don’t need to eat, drink or breathe.”
“Yeah, but habits ...”

“You’re LARPing having breakfast? Shame you can’t taste the bacon.”
“When I’m LARPing we actually HAVE bacon.”
“Sounds AMAZING!”

Player 1: “Is there a brothel for men here? Because that’s basically all he knows.”
GM: “Magestar isn’t a seedy place. You want Stormspire for that.”
Player 2: “That’s where we live!” (thumbs up)

“What dimension or plane is he from?”
“Let’s find out! I’ll cast Banishment on him, let’s see where he goes!”

GM: “He’s closer to you than the dragon.”
Player: “As long as he’s not clutching me or anything, because that’d weird me out.”

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU PLANNING ON SNIPERING?!”

“Okay, so we’re gonna need a new Chosen One.”

(Booker’s laser cutting a hole in the roof of a building)
Player 1: “You’re compromising the integrity of the building!”
Player 2: “Why didn’t you just go in the front door?”
GM: “That’s what normal people would have done.”

Player: “Fighting Nxla in THIS realm isn’t possible, or fighting Nxla in HIS realm isn’t possible?”
GM: “Fighting Nxla isn’t possible.”

“If I return ...”
“Not the phrase you should be using.”

“This packaging is lying! It shows a Stormtrooper with blaster marks on his armour – and he isn’t dead!”

To be continued!

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