Monday, 2 May 2016

Opening the portal is less epic and poetic than I imagined

Innuendo aside, we went to clean up the abandoned town of Angels. The cleanup was successful. We also found some Shifters who realised that they could open the portal without having to kill people. Soooo ... they opened the portal, avoided activating some very nasty runes, and we went through ...

Scenery was a little less epic than pictured, although we recognised it from visions, dreams and such. Now we just need to find the missing people and get them back through the portal without waking up Nxla ...

Courtesy of Monday 25 April 2016's Rifts roleplaying session at Chimera.


“I put them in my pouch. Like some sort of chocolate kangaroo.”

Player: “From this time onward, we ignore all Cyber-knights.” (Jayson gives Player the finger) “Present company excluded.”

“When you reach tentacle porn, you’ve gone too far.”

“He has penises on his mind.”
“I do have Lore: Deebee.”
“I have a book of it!”
“Does it have illustrations?”
“Ohh yes.”

“Lady’s choice.”
“What do I have to choose? Penises? – Oh god, the image I just got in my head! Choosing between all your penises, that’s not an image I wanted in my head! I mean, I’m sure you all have lovely ones, but that doesn’t mean I want to see them.”
“No man ever has a lovely penis.”

GM: “Of course you’re right ... sometimes.”
Player: “I will remember this.”

“Who was he chosen by? The Chosen One of Nxla?”

“I’ve just read something!”
“Oh my god, he’s literate!”

Player 1: “Dragons are up there with sphinxes, unicorns and fairies.”
Player 2 (mishears): “Spinster unicorns?!”

“Booker’s Liam Neeson!”
“No. Liam Neeson is cool.”

“You’re like someone who’s eaten junk food all their lives and eats one apple and thinks that makes up for it.”
“It doesn’t?”

GM: “There’s no good Perception system in this.”
Player: “There’s not a good system in this.”
GM: “Man, you’re perceptive!”

“I don’t know why my character’s become massively racist.”

GM: “You’ll love it when it comes.”
Player: “Are we back to Ds again?”
GM: “Yes.”

“Oh, colonialism. This will go well.”

“So what you’re saying is the Canadians and Norwegians invented Capture the Flag?”
“And bootlegging, apparently.”

“Well, they’re Norwegians and Canadians. They’re bound to be polite.”

“If Jayson’s up for it, we could do some sparring.”
“I thought you were going to say something entirely different there.”

“Sure, we’ll do some sparring.”
“Sparring or fucking? I’m lost in metaphor.”
“Either one if you like.”

“You’re only 91 days old, don’t throw your life away.”

GM: “The Game Master wasn’t prepped for this plan.”

“The next exciting adventure of Rifts: employer disgruntlement court.”

“I can say it! I have Pre-history! But he’s the one that said it.”

GM: “The voices in your head ... let’s go with them.”

“My tact has run out.”
“I wasn’t here at the beginning. I have some tact left.”

“I’m not sure destiny works that way.”
“It appears to.”

“It’s a Dreadnought, a Sinbad extra and a Cyber-knight fighting a Tyrranid!”
“That’s the appeal of the game. The artwork.”

Player: “An adult Great Horned dragon. You’re getting promoted!”
GM: “No.”

“Why are techno wizards so slow?”
“Because they are not dragons.”

(going through the portal)
“This is less epic and poetic than I pictured in my head.”

“That doesn’t look good.”
“Depends on your perspective.”
“From my good-aligned self, it doesn’t look good.”

“How did you know that? Your IQ is lower than mine.”
“It’s something called M...eta gaming.”
“Is that an L5R thing?”

It's bank holiday Monday and we're playing a boardgame. See you next week!

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