For those about to roll, we salute you

Ever heard of @shitmydadsays? He ain't got nowt on British roleplayers! There are a lot of funny things going on whenever we roleplay at Chimera, so last night, I decided to start noting down the sort of crazy things the party said in or out of character, for the sheer hilarity of it.

Courtesy of the latest 1st Edition Deadlands adventure in 19th Century Weird West (Salt Lake City, to be precise), we bring you random comments from players and GM, along with a party consisting of an Alchemist Snake-oil salesman, a geriatric Gunslinger, a dynamite-obsessed Huckster, a Mad Scientist who's the spitting image of Wyatt Earp, and a high-falutin' Reporter. And a (now deceased) baddie we had captured for questioning purposes. Rock on, pardner!

”Bad cop, psychotic cop?”

”You’re trying to smooth-talk the man we’re gonna torture and kill?!”
“I don’t want him to feel bad about it.”

Captive baddie (to the geriatric gunslinger): “Able-bodied? Does that mean you have your own Zimmer-frame?”

(After shooting someone’s knee-cap) “Was that your favourite knee or was it the other one?”

Player: “Does it have a toilet?” (hotel room)
GM: “Yes.”
Player: “Is it a bucket?”
GM: “Yes. But it’s a classy establishment, so it’s in a hole.”

Mad Scientist: “I’ll lose my badge!”
Rest of the party: “You have a BADGE?!”
(Up to that point, we'd completely failed to realise our pardner is a Wyatt Earp doppelganger.)

“Killing Wyatt Earp is ‘too low profile’?”
“Yeah, I don’t kill anythin’ less than a deity!”
“He needs to be nailed up ‘n’ crucified b’fore we do anythin’!”

“Blood loss. Should’ve remembered that.” (on being told the captive has now finally passed out from the bullet wound inflicted upon him earlier)

“Death by falling injun is really the way to go.”
“So we killed the NPC AND the PC?”

“For those about to roll, we salute you.”

“Where’s the van?”
“We don’t have a van, we have a wagon!”

(To party member): “I’m gonna kill the assassin and then I’m gonna kill you!”

Gunslinger: “Get with the program! Pretend I’m dead!”
Alchemist (gasping): “… It’s like I can still hear his voice!”

“If you’ve brought drugs, I hope you brought enough for everybody!” (when GM had to take antibiotics)

GM (to Alchemist): “You don’t pour napalm down his throat, you’re not doing quicklime – you’re not giving me any fun!”

GM (flicking through adventure): “You didn’t do that encounter … You didn’t do that encounter … You didn’t do that encounter …”
Player (despondent): I see a lot of missed XP.

“You don’t have ‘Throwing: Elixir’, do you?”

GM: “What’s your Demolition skill?”
Player: “I need a Demolition skill?!”

“Keep your eyes peeled for an invisible assassin who can poke you and kill you.”

“I’ve got a better plan.”
“We’re making THEM go in the front door, aren’t we?”
(Well, they weren’t hired as cannon fodder for nothing!)

“ ‘Mad Dog and the Mexican’ sounds like a bad 80s cartoon.”


“Okay, let’s finish the plan and go kill something!”

“They weren’t skunk apes, they were just hairy Cajuns.”

GM: “If you’re still standing, it counts as the effect went off.”

“We have voluntarily got rid of the element of surprise.” (after a Huckster spell backfired)

“We’re gonna die!”
“We established this earlier in the evening. That’s why we went and got you.”
“Yeah, but now I’M gonna die!”

(Dejected) “We’re all dead.”
(Gleeful) “So we might as well throw dynamite!”

“Let’s not ask that question, it takes three hours of arguing.”

(Casually, at the end of a rather intimidating speech) “... Make an Overawe check, shall I?”

“Dynamite – it cures almost as many wounds as HIM!” (pointing at Alchemist)

“We’ll continue with Plan B.”
“Isn’t Plan B just ‘Charge!’?”

“(Player) killed the party!”
“In the same way as Africa was all Rommel’s fault.”

“If we die, I’m going to kill him.”

Player (after being told the building just got blacked out): “But it’s daylight outside, so we can still see.”
GM: “No, it’s in the middle of the night.”
Player: “We’re doing this NIGHT TIME?!! Are we STUPID?!”

Huckster: “Can I have a ‘Mad Bomber’ flaw?”
Rest of the party: “You already have it.”

(After party blew away half the building, thus killing half of the bad guys) “I’m beginning to understand the enthusiasm with dynamite.”

There might or might not be more notes taken next week. Party dearest, I love you ... and you have been warned ... ;)