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First encounter in the prison and one character is already unconscious

As it happened, we were a player down again – but a different one this time. Gunney woke up and promptly punched Slick unconscious for having given him food poisoning. The party then discovered that the meat he’d used for the gumbo was in fact “long-pig”, mm-mmh. So the unconscious Alchemist was tied up, because no one heard Mary’s insistence that it wasn’t Sam’s missing leg that had been munched on, but that Slick had just bought the meat from a shop around the corner.

Then it was off the Rock Island Prison, which we completely failed to blow up. Just trying to enter through the sewers made three characters fall unconscious for a bit, but at least they weren’t attacked – that page was apparently missed off on the print. Lucky us! We then discovered something akin to an old woman’s pantry in the Dreaming, which caused a couple of characters to gain a minor phobia, one aged a year and Mary … got lots of inspiration for her next dime novel, as she was the only one who didn’t fail her Guts check. (She’s surprisingly good at rolling high on those checks. It’s getting kinda suspicious.) We also managed to go the right way, quietly, and found Pete’s friend – but not that pesky diamond …

Oh, and biscuits might now count as really awesome poker chips. We just need to convince the GM to run with it.

Courtesy of Tuesday 6 September 2011's 1st Edition Deadlands adventure at Chimera.


“EPIC! 18 on a D4!”

GM: “Reynard killed the last surviving member of the Tremandayne gang.”
Sam: “Well done!”
Reynard: “What was that? Ohh. Yeah. By accident!”
Gunney: “We’ll make an outlaw of you yet.”

“I know it’s supposed to be a jelly ring, but it looks like a Cylon raider.” (Makes sound effects.)
“That’s one of the nerdiest things I’ve EVER. HEARD.”

Gunney: “Did we find what we were looking for?”
Sam: “Maybe.”
Reynard: “No, I killed him.”

“Pete? I was gonna call him Horcrux.”

“Compared with al-Quaeda, we’re better. We actually killed someone last week.”

“Do you work for MI-5?”
“No, it’s called ‘the Agency’.”

“Sorry, I’m just eating my fork.”

“So you’ve put gold letters on the black ninja gig … so that now, I’ll glow in the light?”

“Let me taste it. I recognise the taste of people. …This ain’t people.”

“It depends on how you want to run Cthulhu.”
“Ruthlessly?”

Mary: “Excuse me, sir. Who’s your friend?”
Pete: “Jasper.”
Mary: “Carrot?”
Pete: “Jasper Stone.”
Mary: “I see. Excuse me.” (turns to party) “Ehh … guys …!”

“Just writing my will, in case you’re wondering.”

“I feel like we’re about to walk into Big Trouble in Little China.”

GM: “Who looks the strongest out of you lot?”
Player: “You mean, ‘who’s the least weak?’ ”

“Okay, you’re a prison! – That sounds like such a great insult, but it wasn’t.”

“Rule number one: don’t drop the soap.”

Sam: “Take the flare, Lucky.”
Mary (coaxing): “It’s almost like DYNAMITE.”

“First encounter in the prison and one character is already unconscious …”

“It’s … colourful here, isn’t it?”
“Do you want me to kill Slick twice?”

“You’re fine, but Mary throws up over you.”

“I’m gonna kill Slick.”
“Not if I do it first.”

“You’ve just witnessed a scene of massive carnage. What else could it be called?”
“A pantry in Changeling.”

GM: (to Mary) “You’re fine.” (to party) “She basically goes, ‘This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen … I’ll have to write about this.’ ”
Sam: “That woman has nerves of steel and a stomach of iron.”

“Don’t bite me, damn it!”

“Epic. It takes me four turns to move a square.”

GM: “Everyone roll Quickness. And when I say everyone, I mean Reynard and me.”

GM: “I’ll leave it on this page. I’ll probably need it later, it’s the Backlash table.”

(A guest joined the table to have a look)
“How’s K got poker chips? And bigger pok… Oh. They’re biscuits.”

GM (to Reynard): “That’s the first time you’ve Bodyguard without getting a backlash.”

“I’m gonna have as much mental scarring as Michael Jackson after this adventure is done. And probably be as dead.”

“I’ll make like a D&D thief.”
“Loot a chest?”
“Check for traps!”

“I don’t drink after midnight.”
“Are you a gremlin?”

Sam: “Four old people in a prison. We’re screwed.”
Mary: “I’m not old!”
Sam: “Shush!”

Reynard: “In my backpack, I have a flare. Matches. A lantern. Dynamite. Oh, and smoking materials. …I smoke?”

Sam: “Considering Gunney’s pace, Sam first.”
Gunney: “I’ll come back next session, shall I?”

“Gunney moves in stop motion.”

“Who’s the prison’s Health & Safety Officer? This should be reported.”

“ ‘Mind the poo’ is obviously the most important thing on the map.”

“Don’t! You’re eating your chips! Now it’s only worth 16 dice!”

GM: “Gum is actually a Native American thing.”
Player 1: “Oh yeah.”
Player 2: “They invented Wrigley’s? They must be really rich.”

Guest: “So (Player 1) is playing a Mad Scientist?”
Player 1: “YEAH!!”
Player 2: “Mad being the operative word.”

“If we try to work out Sam’s way, I’ll die of old age.”

GM: “Are you opening the door?”
Player: “Very slowly and stealthily, like.”

“This is the … I’ll do this in character actually. – This is the worst place on earth.”

GM: “Which way are you going?”
Player: “Left. Like it matters.”

“I’ll take out my compass.”
“Is it a Rumpus Compass? Because if so, we’re screwed.”

Player: “You mean between us, we actually have the skills required to complete this task?”
GM: “No. Mary does.”

“Where is he doing that thing that he’s doing?”

GM: “Stone’s not in great shape.”
Player: “He’s Gunney Pace?”
GM: “…Perhaps a bit quicker.”

Reynard: “Your directions were awful, man.”
Pete: “Well, PARDON ME for being traumatised.”

“You know before we go and save the world … can we go and have a shower?”

Well, we survived, and we reckon we’ll be met on the docks by Slick. We just need to make sure he’s not shot on sight by Gunney. For next week, we’re heading to Grimme’s Cathedral to meet … our deaths, most like.