Thursday, 22 September 2011

HOLY CRAP, we're the X-Men!

From last week, we were left with a number of zombies to defeat in a warehouse. This resulted in lots of shots to the legs (Gunney’s in particular); Sam sneaking out through a hole he blew in the wall – and conveniently returned when the rest of the party were just finishing off the last of the zombies, of course; and Mary suddenly finding her faith started to have some startling effects – and got a halo to prove it. Is she actually one of Grimme’s servants or has she just spent a load of pent-up XP in order for the rest of them to start greeting her with “Hail Mary”? Either way, laying on hands turned out to be a rather useful thing to have … Not that it cured Gunney’s delusion that he now has a superpower: a telekinetic hand that can stop bullets. We’re screwed. Especially since a lady from the future hired us to go find some sort of portal housed in a Steven Spielberg film.

Courtesy of Tuesday 20 September 2011's 1st Edition Deadlands adventure at Chimera.


“I’m ‘ere to fix the ‘arpsichord. …I don’t know WHERE that came from.”
“It was good, though.”

“If I had the option of watching a police procedure show or a show where they dissect a man’s wang, I would choose the cop show – and I don’t even LIKE Law & Order!

“This is not a discussion I wanted to have. Ever.”

“Hang on, we’re actually AHEAD of ourselves in the game?”

“Is Stone actually Michael Jackson and this is Thriller?”

“ ‘Might not be that bad’? GM’s been waiting for this moment since the start of the game!”

“You have been successfully shot.”
“Congratulations on successfully headbutting a bullet!”

GM: “You can use it to interrupt his action.”
Reynard: “I’d rather not get shot, thanks.”

“HOLY CRAP, we’re the X-Men!”

GM: “Do you have any armour on your legs?”
Gunney: “I have arthritis … in my legs.”

“What do you need to use a grenade for?”
“What DON’T you need to use a grenade for?”

“I’ve figured out how to make souls explode! …We’re horrible people.”

“Compared with our Changeling group, we’re practically saints. Then again, compared to our Changeling group, Charles Manson has good rep.”

“Mary, have you caught religion?!”
“You say that like it’s an STD.”

“On the bright side, not all of us die.”

“Do you think Harrowed think ‘zombie’ is an offensive term?”

GM: “You get a little bit of shrapnel in your leg.”
Gunney: “Of course I do. Of course I fucking do.”

Reynard: “True words: ‘there are few problems in life that can’t be solved with a big enough explosion’.”

“You lily-livered son of a bitch! This is EXACTLY like Texas!”

“My peacemaker has ‘Colt’ on it, spelled with a K.”

(to Slick) “That had better not be our next lunch.” (looking at approaching zombies)

Player: “Anyone look injured?”
GM: “Yeah. You.”

GM: “Do you have any armour in your guts?”
Player: “I have IRON in my guts!”
GM: “So that’s a no, then.”

“Okay, bullet teeth are on the list of things you’re making, Sam.”
“What?”
“Bullet teeth that you can flick with your tongue.”

“Everyone’s got some kind of superpower. Gunney is officially becoming a black mage after this.”

GM: “You see a ghostly hand pushing the bullet away in front of you.”
Gunney: “Assume I did it.”

Gunney: “Everyone in this group has got superpowers. I have weird telekinesis hands.”

“So this is the last round we only need 1 to finish him off? Got 21.”

“When I said ‘take it like a man’, I mean ‘using chips’, okay?”

“I have perfected the crotch shot – don’t anger me!”

“This is healing, with horrendous side effects.”

(to Mary) “Without sounding rude, would you like to lay your hands on me too?”

Sam (freaking out over Mary's new headgear): “Evil!! Halo!! Grimme!”
Player: “Says the man who ran away and left us all to die.”

Slick: “Sir, you’re making me defend Catholicism. It’s not something I do lightly!”
GM: “The power of Christ HAS compelled you.”
Slick: “Sadly, yes.”

GM: “You’re feeling better than you have done in years.”
Gunney: “I assume it’s down to the superpower hand.”

“The fact that there were two Stones …”
“Let’s not analyse that right now; they could be twin brothers.”

“I’m looking for three stones: Stone, Stone and the stone they’re carrying.”

“If there’s anything I want more than a comfortable bed, it’s VENGEANCE.”

GM: “Anyone want to do anything before we move on?”
Party: “Go shopping!”
GM: “You are all still caked in blood, guts and faeces, by the way.”
Mary: “…I’m gonna go for a wash!”

Sam: “I’m gonna need a bigger gun.”

“We’ve not agreed it’s a good idea; we’ve just agreed we’re doing it. There’s a very big difference!”

Sam: “Steam-powered Gatling shotgun. Yeeeees.”

“Understand that if you look at me funny, you’re gonna end up looking like cheese.”

NPC: “I’m from the future, in 2094.”
Half the party: “What?”

“If the party goes into a monologue about Cajun rape …”
“Shoot them.”

“Wait wait wait – you mean that dribble in the Bible is true?”

Gunney: “You’re from the future, right? Do I EVER get to Seattle?”
NPC: “Who are you?”

Slick: “Now I’m just wondering what Sioux tastes like.”

“If we kill Stone from this time, does that mean that the future Stone dies because he never existed?”
“Paradoxes aren’t my forte.”

Sam: “We accept. And we’ll do it for free!”
Slick: “We do WHAT?! Hang on a minute!”
Sam: “I’ll give you 50 bucks?”
(Slight pause)
Slick: “…I’ll do it for 50 bucks.”

“What’s this about all these people who are still around in your time and I’m not even mentioned! I’m a footnote!”
“Or a bullet point.”

“While you’re saying this, there are two Mad Scientists taking notes.”

“We could take the train.”
“Do you remember what happened last time we took the train?”

Reynard: “Can we go shopping before we go?”
GM: “Yes.”
Reynard: “Do they sell dynamite yet?”
GM: “No.”
Reynard: “Awww!”

“You’ve seen the Devil’s Tower before.”
“Yes, in Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”

GM: “You remember something about the Devil’s Tower. The Injuns call it …”
Player: “Mashed Potato Mountain?”

“You ATE your family? And you’re complaining about SLICK?!”

“The only way we’re gonna have a Shatgun is if it fires William Shatner.”

GM: “The only reason you’re not getting killed by a Diablo or a hanging judge is because …”
Player: “We’re busy.”

“You’re trying to copy my dead leg!”
“Yes. That’s what I wanted – a rocket foot.”

“It’s running away like a little girl.”
“That’s very sexist of you.”
“Do I look like I care?”

Yup, still alive, although that's not likely to last. We're having to travel through Sioux territory to get to the Devil's Tower, and while Gunney used to live with them, he's not so sure they're very friendly. We'll see what happens. If you have any suggestions for this blog (we're looking at something a little less nicked borrowed, generic and err, questionable than "Shit Roleplayers Say". Leave a suggestion or we'll make you walk around with a D4 in your shoe!

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