Friday, 27 April 2012

We should have our own TV show, we’re so badass

After a lengthy and very serious and utterly brainy discussion about matters of life, the universe and everything, we finally managed to get started with the game ...

Finn and Set have captured a semi-conscious bad guy who fell off a building, handcuff him (with pink, fluffy handcuffs) to Jack's limo and then move on to checking out the contents of the minibar. And so the beertini was invented. Good thing Flora keeps a steady supply of hangover-curing potions ...

Alysiana promised, on behalf of the party, that no one in the car would hurt the prisoner, which later led to a big discussion about whether or not the rest of the party was held to that ... as they hadn't actually sworn anything.

Back at Wollaton Hall, Jack decided to build a guillotine to execute the prisoner, who, after all, had broken a number of Changeling laws. And then he went to bed. The rest of the party had already decided to head off, as they were squeamish about the whole thing. Because of the oath, though, no one could hurt the man, so it was decided to leave his execution until the morning. To make him

Set volunteered to watch over the prisoner, being handcuffed to him, and eventually passed out from lack of sleep ... once he had knocked the prisoner to sleep, as he wouldn't stop screaming because of the cold iron tied to him. We sure know how to treat guests here in Nottingham!

Courtesy of Tuesday 24 April 2012's 2nd Edition Changeling: The Dreaming adventure at Chimera.


“I keep counting backwards. It’s like watching an episode of NCIS.”

Player: “Do you need to know what I’ve spent XP on?”
GM (off-handedly): “Nah, you’re all gonna die soon anyway.”

”How evil are we talking?”
“Kim Jong-il.”
“That’s quite evil. And vaguely communist.”
“ ‘Vaguely’?”

“It’s a cult of personality.”
“Or a cult of no personality.”

“Kim Jong-un is the man with no face. He has no expression.”
“Does that mean he’s actually Kristen Stewart?”

Party: “We’re ready.”
GM: “You’re a bit early, aren’t you?”

“You know how thinking of talking about Cthulhu will make you lose your mind? Justin Bieber’s like that.”

(Justin Bieber rising to fame with the help of Dr Dre)
“Are you sure this isn’t a World of Darkness plot?”

“I don’t know what people have against— Actually, I DO know what people have against Phil Collins.”

“We’re now moving BACKWARDS through the plot.”

“So your plan is A Clockwork Orange?”

“So instead of feeling nauseous when I have a violent impulse, I feel nostalgic for the ‘80s.”

Player: “Haven’t we over-run the 20 minutes now?”
GM (checks clock): “Yes, we’re into plot-time.”

“Previously on Changeling: The Dreaming.”
“Haven’t we done this already?”

“Previously on Xena: Warrior Princess: Are those your real boobs?”
“Previously on Spartacus: Blood and Sand, it’s Xena again!”
“Previously on Hercules: holy crap, she’s here too?!”

“Serious existential conversations don’t get written down, but talking about penises does.”

“We should really get some playing done.”

Set: “Finn, will you please explain why I’ve had to arrest Lucy Lawless for stalking?”

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love being a roleplayer.”

Finn: “I’m friends with Alysiana, because I think she’ll sleep with me. I get on with Flora, because I think she’ll sleep with me. I get on with Jack …”
Jack: “I won’t sleep with you.”
Finn: “No, that would be wrong.”

Alysiana: “How evil can I be?”
Player: “You’re Alysiana.”

(Finn and Set get drunk, and spot Jack)
“HEYYY! It’s our lord and master!”
“We’re good knights!”
“Good night!”

“HOW do you know that?!”
“You told me.”
“Oh yeah.”

“We should have our own TV show, we’re so badass.”

Player 1: “What’s the main ingredient in gumbo?”
Player 2: “Anything you can find!”
Player 3: “People!”
Player 2: “If you can only find people, it’s people.”
Player 4: “Sometimes it’s earwigs.”

“There’s nothing wrong with making soup of old people. It’ll make them feel useful.”

“God damn it, that’s the third David Attenborough we’ve gone through this week.”

“There is such a thing as an objective truth.”
“Shut up and give me a logical five.”

Set: “You’re stealing my lines.”
Finn: “Does that mean I’m learning?”

“What’s a pair of bondage handcuffs between friends?”
“Heaven!”

Set: “Do you know why I removed the fluff off the handcuffs?”
Jack: “You don’t like the colour?”
Set: “…Let’s go with that.”

“Has he taken any damage from us talking?”

Player: “Wait, we didn’t do that right. What time is it?”
GM: “It’s 3 am.”
Player: “What time is it?”
GM: “3 am.”
Player: “No, what TIME is it?”
(GM finally gets it)
Grandfather Clock: “It’s 3 am.”

Finn (to NPC captive): “Would you like a beertini before you die?”

Jack: “Why are they going?”
GM: “YOU might enjoy executions. THEY don’t.”

Jack: “I’m building a guillotine in the cellar.”
Set: “Sir, that’s a bit Robespierre of you.”

Jack: “The guillotine’s a bit makeshift.”
Set: “NOTHING you make is makeshift! It’s expert craftsmanship!”

Jack: “I’m no longer really evil! Everyone’s coming down to my level!”

Alysiana: “Because you’re slightly evil, can I put an idea in your head?”

“Your wrong is more wrong than my wrong, because my wrong doesn’t affect the party.”

“We make a load of noise and swear a lot, but at least we clean up after ourselves.”

“Before you’re a geek, you’re a proto-geek.”

Dragons were never popular.”
“YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!”
“Was it popular for you?”

Finn: “What time is it?”
Grandfather Clock: “It’s 2 o’clock.”
Finn: “No, it isn’t!”
Grandfather Clock: “It’s Pimm’s o’clock.”
Finn: “You’re damn straight it’s Pimm’s o’clock!”

Player 1: “How would the ferret kill him?”
Player 2: “Same way a rat would: burrowing through the chest.”
Player 1 (looks aghast): “… Nice …?”
Player 2 (casually): “Good form of torture.”

Flora: “Drink this.”
Set: “Is it poison?”
Flora: “Why would I give you poison?”
Set: “Because at this point, I’d probably welcome it.”

GM: “It tastes damned awful. Must be good for you.”

Jack: “Are you able to carry Set?”
Finn: “CARRY him? He’s Moby Dick!”

“I think we’re safe but I think we need to feed him crack.”

“To quote a great author: what have I got in my pocketses?”

Finn: “Can I use the smoothie machine to make smoothies?”
Jack: “Yes.”
Finn: “Beer smoothies! Rockin’!”

Jack: “We’ve already established I’m not that kind of baron.”
Set: “Yes, you are!”
Alysiana: “You just don’t know it yet.”

Right, that's quite enough for one week. Off you go. Have a good weekend, go watch Avengers Assemble (no, seriously, you really should - us lot think it's all kinds of awesome), and we'll see you again around this time next week.

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