Wednesday, 30 April 2014

The Reincarnation of Axcalibur

The pregnant Eddie tried to drown his sorrows (foetus) in vodka. Strangely, he wasn't getting drunk from any of it, but instead, his body got very toned all of a sudden. He had never sported a sixpack before! Pregnancy really suits him!

We went looking for clues in Alvaston (or rather, Trevor was looking for a place to turn into a community centre), a rough part of Derby, and unfortunately, that's when Eddie decided to give birth to the big stone egg. Well, first of all, there was a thing crawling up through his throat and Tommy had to perform a tracheotomy and pull it out to stop Eddie from suffocating. The thing was a baby tentacle monster, as expected, and its gunk was highly corrosive. Luckily, Tilly performed some healing magics on him so that he wouldn't bleed to death.

Unfortunately, Eddie was carrying twins. There was also an egg and it decided to come out through his plumbing, so to speak. Ouchhh. The monster baby was dispatched and thrown into a hedge, where a tentacle monster and his tentacle monster dog then went looking.

So that was mentally scarring. We had visits from the blue-eyed German guy again, and some of us entered into bargains with him, which we're not exactly sure if it was a good idea or not yet, but we hope he isn't Fey, because then we're screwed. Eddie got another axe as replacement for his dearly departed Axcalibur.

Later on, we went back and were going to talk to the man and his dog, but the man ran into Zolistagol, Tommy and a patched-up Eddie and they didn't go easy on him. The dog, however, was behaving the way these tentacle monsters were supposed to behave ... so Tilly decided to try befriending it. How that works out, we'll find out next time.

Courtesy of Wednesday 23 April 2014's Hunter: The Reckoning roleplaying session at Chimera.


“It’s Normanton, someone always dies.”

“He’s pale as a sheet.”
“You generally are when you’re dead.”

Eddie: “Nothing wrong with max volume. I don’t know there is any other volume.”

Eddie: “Do you have some vodka I can borrow?”
Zolistagol: “Borrow?!”
Eddie: “I’ll pay you back later … in guns.”

Eddie: “I need to stop texting or people will start realising I’m literate.”

(after player using Google Maps to scout locations)
GM: “We should ban mobile phones from this table. They cause so much complexity and evil.”

“Did you not hear the part where he inhaled cannabis and became pregnant with an alien and is going to shit out an egg?”

“I’m gonna put a Johnny Cash CD in the car stereo so I can play Ring of Fire, because it seems appropriate.”

“The way you deliver a baby from a throat. Like you do every day.”

“Your voice is going to sound different after this. You’re going to sound like Tom Waite.”
“But that’s cool!”

“You won’t have to worry about chlamydia testing.”
“You won’t have to worry about ANYTHING except scheming in King’s Landing.”

“He won’t be able to take solids for about a month.”
“That’s okay, his diet was mainly liquid anyway.”

“No physical exertion and he’s the fighter.”

GM: “You won’t be able to drink alcohol for the next three weeks.”
Eddie: “Not even a shandy?!”

GM: “No alcoholic drinks, no fizzy kind of drinks …”
Eddie: “Stella?”

“I can’t come in this afternoon for personal reasons.”
“Going postal.”

“Is he buying from Farmers Arrrr Us?”

“What should we call it? Poor man’s stab vest?”

(in a posh voice) “One is a hoodie! You will respect one as a hoodie. One steals cars. You may call me a youth.”

“A monocle doesn’t count as bling.”

Player 1: “But it comes with a price?”
GM: “Everything has a price.”
Player 2: “£3.75.”

Eddie: “You’re looking as fine as ever, Tilly.”
Tommy: “Eyes on the prize, Eddie!”

GM: “You’ve made a deal.”
Player (on second thought): “He’s not Fae is he? Oh NO!”

“Did he try to kill your sister?”
“No.”
“Because everything else that’s come to your house has been trying to kill her.”

Eddie: “Trevor, Trevor, Trevor, Trevor. I’m unemployed. EVERY day is a holiday.”

GM: “You realise: when did Eddie learn German?”
Eddie: “Oh no, I’m revealing my schooling again, aren’t I?”

Zolistagol (holding a nail gun): “It’s Hellraiser time!”

GM: “I will now turn back to the murderers. I mean, adventurers.”

“Paranoid? What makes you think I’m paranoid? I’m not paranoid.”

So anyway ... to be continued!

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