The Reincarnation of Axcalibur

The pregnant Eddie tried to drown his sorrows (foetus) in vodka. Strangely, he wasn't getting drunk from any of it, but instead, his body got very toned all of a sudden. He had never sported a sixpack before! Pregnancy really suits him!

We went looking for clues in Alvaston (or rather, Trevor was looking for a place to turn into a community centre), a rough part of Derby, and unfortunately, that's when Eddie decided to give birth to the big stone egg. Well, first of all, there was a thing crawling up through his throat and Tommy had to perform a tracheotomy and pull it out to stop Eddie from suffocating. The thing was a baby tentacle monster, as expected, and its gunk was highly corrosive. Luckily, Tilly performed some healing magics on him so that he wouldn't bleed to death.

Unfortunately, Eddie was carrying twins. There was also an egg and it decided to come out through his plumbing, so to speak. Ouchhh. The monster baby was dispatched and thrown into a hedge, where a tentacle monster and his tentacle monster dog then went looking.

So that was mentally scarring. We had visits from the blue-eyed German guy again, and some of us entered into bargains with him, which we're not exactly sure if it was a good idea or not yet, but we hope he isn't Fey, because then we're screwed. Eddie got another axe as replacement for his dearly departed Axcalibur.

Later on, we went back and were going to talk to the man and his dog, but the man ran into Zolistagol, Tommy and a patched-up Eddie and they didn't go easy on him. The dog, however, was behaving the way these tentacle monsters were supposed to behave ... so Tilly decided to try befriending it. How that works out, we'll find out next time.

Firing ray guns inside the Devil's Tower is probably a bad idea

After bribing the Chinese guards outside the Temple of Doom Devil's Tower with about $200 each to look the other way for a bit (Mary coughed up the cash, wondering why everyone else thought the money was such a big deal), the party ventured inside the mountain. No dwarves or hobbits anywhere to be seen, although there might be dragons later. Possibly. For now, we dungeoneered and came across a big, black, acidic ceiling blob that ate Gunney's hat.

And wandered aimlessly around the caves, looking for plot. In the end, we came across a ray gun - which caused a huge lightning spark on par with Emperor Palpatine because the cylinder that powered it wasn't correctly re-attached (and now it's dead ... until we use it in a battle scene, where it will probably end up killing us all in a comedic fashion) - and an alien glove with extendable claws, which Sam bravely put on. And found wires shooting out, burrowing into his flesh to hook up with his central nervous system. Healing him while the burrowing was still happening wasn't a good idea, although once it had finished, the new hand was pretty badass, we have to admit.

Amongst the other superpowers developed this week, we discovered that there was a slight mistake on Gunney's character sheet - his pace was in fact 6, not 4 as previously thought, so now he has the speed of a normal person and not an unconscious snail, thereby earning him the "OAPistol" or "OAPeacemaker" superhero name. Oh, and Slick keeps blaming his casual racism on being from the Deep South, because apparently they don't have Chinese people there, or something. We don't know what's worse - that he thinks they're under some sort of curse or that he's trying to sell them cures for jaundice ...