Tuesday, 14 July 2015

I'll use a spell-checker if I have to!

Last week we generated characters for Rogue Trader, but that didn't generate a lot of quotes, so I figured I'd put it together with the first session instead.

Here's one we made earlier.

In fact, it's not roleplaying at all, but instead it's boardgaming during this year's International Table Top Day! #ITTDatChimera

Courtesy of Saturday 11 April 2015's International Table Top Day at Chimera.

First game out of the box was Betrayal at House on the Hill, in which the kid (unsurprisingly) turned out to be the traitor, because the kid is always the traitor. The game was won by the protagonists at a hair's breadth - only one hero left, and that hero had only one hit point left, but she took out the poltergeist and sent it back to hell at the very last moment.

“We brought plot to the pizza parlour.”
“You brought EXPLOSIVES to the pizza parlour!”

“I lose one Sanity.”
“That’s what you get for listening to the group.”
“Peer pressure gets you every time.”

“It’s a dead end.”
“Of course the graveyard is a dead end.”

“Once per turn you can make a Sanity roll. That’ll end well.”

(when the kitchen tile was placed in the basement off the chasm tile)
“Shalt thou crave a midnight snack, thou must first brave the CHASM.”

“My punning gets worse before it gets better.”
“It gets better?”

“Spear in junk – oww!”

“I think you’re just making this poltergeist shit up.”

“Is it just me or are we doing good GM, bad GM here?”

“Die, die, die!! Or something friendlier-sounding.”

“The busty girl always makes it to the end of the horror film. The black guy always dies first, it’s a trope. You might be black, but you have boobs so you’re okay.”

“You’re from Yorkshire? But you’re normal!”

“You can teleport? - See what I mean? Bullshit.”

Despite the name, Poo was not a shit game. It's a card game about flinging monkey poo at one another.

“Can I write ‘get my faeces together’?”
“Only if you spell it correctly.”
“I’ll use a spell-checker if I have to!”

“Clean two poo and give it to someone else. You, you treacherous bastard.”

“1, 1, 8. Hang on, is this the monkey poo helpline?”

“Is anyone else visualising this Matrix-style?”

“Can I have the dice back, please?”
“I don’t think you deserve the dice back.”

Here's when it hit 5pm and the raffle draw started ...

“This is a random number generator.”
“Can we check the programming on that?”

“Next number is 535, which we’ve already drawn.”
“Random number generator my arse.”

(when Robin Hood’s number came up)
“Are you going to give it to the poor?”
“But there are so many to choose from! – That sounded worse than I thought.”

“I’ve missed needing a B filter.”
“Great, I’m the human equivalent of an aquarium tank.”

“We’re so lucky. We played a game of Boss Monsters and nobody won.”

“429!”
“By that, did you mean 463?”

“There’s nothing like a huge cheer when you’ve finished peeing. It makes me feel accomplished.”

We started playing Fluxx when the draw was mostly through. After that, we had a break to go and get some dinner and full up on delicious Thai food, continued with XCOM:

“We basically worked as a team. GMs never expect that.”

“Is this a Fantasy Flight game? Everything’s become clear.”

“I don’t like either of these Crisis cards.”
“Well, none of them are going to say ‘it’s your birthday’, are they?”

“I think we should just surrender and learn to live together in harmony.”

“If only there was a way to quote facial expressions, eh?”

“I’m gonna get this one because it’s your problem.”

“If you’re buying UFOs something’s gone very VERY wrong.”

“So far the aliens are following movie scripts perfectly. They’ve all invaded North America.”
“Yeah, I just don’t care anymore.”
“We should probably not have an entirely British team in charge of defending the Earth.”

“I’ve found that it’s good for morale to wave a few corpses around on camera. (rolls) Apparently not!”

“Are you sucking over there?”

“Did you enjoy channelling your inner mad scientist?”
“There’s nothing inner about it.”

“Are you saying robots can’t be monsters? That’s very ist of you.”

Back with roleplaying again next time!

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