”I know you were saying something, but I was busy looking at Mel Gibson with a beaver.”
“…With a real beaver! Well, not a REAL beaver. More like Sesame Street on crack.”
“It’s a cooperative game, not PVP.”
“Tell me where you were touched by the evil. Show me on the doll.”
(When choosing characters to play) “(Player) is hotter than you.”
“Only one Batman villain? What sort of a game is this?!”
“Sesame Street – getting vampire mythology more correct than Twilight.”
“The word ‘Monopoly’ still gives you guys flashbacks?”
“Yes.”
“Then my job is done.”
“So Investigation is something physical you can pick up? Like in a video game.”
“Also, you have ferrets, which you don’t tell me.”
Player 1: “So basically, we should mind our Manor.”
(Pause)
Player 2: “Collective headshake.”
Player 3: “If I had a shotgun, I’d point it in YOUR direction.”
“There’s a reason the Abandoned Keep is abandoned.”
“Badgers.” (nods)
“No, beavers. The anti-Semitic beaver IS very dangerous.”
“You’ve cursed us!”
“That’s my job.”
“I did not invite them, they showed up. They’re party crashers.”
“We’re getting complex here.”
“It’s like … organisation, man!”
“If all the named spaces are taken …”
“The barghest will implode!”
“So it’s only a disadvantage if we’re trying to win the game?”
(Looks at a Town Elder’s secrets) “Oooh!”
“She’s had it off with Ryan Giggs?”
“Wait, we can GET things?”
“Bring the right character!”
“No, bring (player) too, I can axe him in the head.”
“So technically, what I did was a good thing.”
“NO! NO, IT WAS NOT!”
“It’s not a Manor, it’s a subway!”
“If this was a film, the audience would go, ‘the THIRD secret passage? REALLY?’ ”
“I have an Honor of 6. I may be a drifter, but I’m like Wolverine!”
Friend of party member, sneaking up on him: “Are you winning?”
Player 1 (recoils spectacularly): “JESUS CHRIST!!!”
Player 2 (applauding): “I give you a 9.5 on that one, sir!”
“Did I really just say ‘ghostywhost’?”
“If enough people call me ‘Bejizzum’, it’ll catch on, and that’s not a good thing.”
(After reading a card where someone’s a boozer and whose eyes were aglow with fighting spirit)
“It’s not the spirit, really, it’s the booze.”
“Well, we might not defeat it, and we might all die.”
“YOU do it, Mr. ‘I don’t tell you his hit points before the showdown’!”
We also learned that Talisman is best played as a drinking game, and that if you cross the voices of Colossus and Stephen Hawking, you get a DALEK.
Normal roleplay should resume next week.
