Sunday, 29 January 2012

What shall we do with the drunken Sidhe?

After being assaulted by Rat Boy (again), Finn locked himself in a cupboard and completely missed Alysiana in the nude. Jack and the GM were sitting next to each other talking plot, which the rest of us didn't catch, but we were happy bunnies anyway, because even though Finn crushed his precious eggplant, perhaps Flora could restore it.

Jack decided to have turned twelve recently, which means the party in his honour was in fact his birthday party. He's now a Wilder rather than a Childling, and it has caused him to stop drinking, much to Finn's dismay. On the plus side, we entered the Dreaming, where Alysiana got very drunk on chimeric ale. Meanwhile, Flora tried her hand at drug-pushing, with Set conveniently being somewhere else entirely, being useful.

And then we tried to charter a ferry across a river, even though we didn't think to ask until afterwards if it would be big enough to take Set, seeing as he's, y'know, an enormous Troll. We left off on the shore, by a big swamp, having just been dropped off from the boat. Here's the journey up until then ...

Courtesy of Tuesday 24 January 2012’s 2nd Edition Changeling: The Dreaming adventure at Chimera.


“To say I like your style is about as normal as I can be with the company I keep.”

“I’ve still got it.”
“Still got what? The ability to jump up at small women and scare them?”

“You have wonderful nuts.”

“When I skipped in the playground as a little girl, I didn’t look half as girly as you just did.”

“ ‘Vivisection’ won’t work on a zombie. It’s ‘autopsy’.”

“Like a bad curry, I shall return.”
“A bad curry doesn’t return; it leaves very quickly.”

“A Kindle is like an Etch-A-Sketch, but when you shake it, Twilight doesn’t go away.”

“Why is there a balloon on Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein?”
“It’s one of those philosophical questions no one can answer.”
“Is it art?”

“The bowel movement of Morgoth!”

“Have you had your Tiramisu cake? What’s it like?”
“Nothing like Tiramisu!”
“Hmm, it doesn’t smell of coffee.”
“Or taste.”

M: “How do you organise a party in space? You plan it.”
Player 1: “M wins! Betting ends!”
Player 2: “Aww, I miss that show. I used to get so drunk to that.”

Player 1: “I came up with a really bad joke earlier: How does the new Sherlock cook his food? In Cumber-batches.”
Player 2: “That was HORRENDOUS.”
Player 3: “Even B wouldn’t stoop that low.”
B: “Yes! Yes, I would!”

“We have a Dictaphone now? Huhuhu … ‘dick’ …!”

Finn: “To get back on plot: AAAARGH I’m being raped by a rat!”
GM: “Again.”
Finn: “Again!”

“We start the game and a player walks off. Order has been restored.”

Pooka: “First of all, I don’t want you to pay me!”
Flora: “Okay!”
Set: “Fair enough.”

“I’m hiding in the cupboard because out there is a rat trying to climb into my arse!”

Pooka: “It’s been a real pleasure working with you.”
Finn: “You too, you fuckin’ freak!”

Alysiana: “Is this the point where I tell Finn I made the rat boy fancy him? … Naaah …”

“I fucking HATE Pookas! You should NEVER put them in a game; they’re doing my head in! They’re forcing me to think!”

“Alysiana’s naked and I’m in a cupboard?! I’ve waited DAYS for this!”

“Turns out Brendon is a treacherous horny bastard.”
“Is that the guy with the boobs?”
“Yes.”

Alysiana: “Can I please get dressed now?”
Set: “We’ve all seen you named.”
Finn: “I’m painfully aware I haven’t!”

Set: “I’m growing bored of this not hitting stuff. I must find something to pummel.”
Flora: “An old lady?”
Set: “Shut up.”
Finn: “I’m sure we can find you a geriatric somewhere.”
Set: “You vicious, evil bastards.”

Set: “I’m getting up early and making a round of coffee for everyone except Jack.”
Finn: “Why not Jack?”
Set: “Because he’s eleven! I’m not giving an eleven-year-old coffee!”
Finn: “But it was okay giving him drugs before?!”

Jack: “That smells nice, Set. Are the coffee beans Nigerian or Columbian?”
Set: “Uh, they’re … Tesco-ian?”

Finn (to Jack): “You don’t drink alcohol anymore? What happened to you?! You turn twelve and suddenly you’re like too old for drinking?”

Set: “I’m clutching my badge, pretending I didn’t hear that. Because if I did, I’d probably have to bring you in for something.”

“I’d like a brain enema now, if that’s okay?”

“If you brainalyse someone who’s had a brain enema, does that fix them?”

“Sluagh? I’ve always pronounced it ‘Slough’.”
“No, that’s a crappy town.”

“I think there should be a Chimera rule that says certain tables shouldn’t be allowed to sit next to each other.”

“Can we have a rule that says those two aren’t allowed to sit next to each other? If they sat at opposite sides of the table, we could all hear the plot.”

“I’m not pretentious enough to walk into Starbucks. Wait, I read Moby Dick recently.”

“I’m going to Threshers. Wait, does Threshers still exist?”
“No.”
“Morrisons it is, then.”

Player: “Is his name Iolius?”
GM: “Yes.”
Player (holds up paper): “Notes! Useful!”

“Cassandra over there, is he going to be able to guide us anywhere without having visions?”

“I think they have plot going on.”
“They’ve had plot for a while.”

Player 1: “What’s wrong with coffee?”
Player 2: “Coffee corrupts!”
Mordecai Smythe: “No, coffee allows you to get up earlier in the morning and PRAY!”

“If you’re giving yourself a headache, you’re probably too much in character.”

“Crappy D&D chat-up lines #86: Are you sure you’re not a Druid? Because you’ve got WILD shape.”

Other table’s GM: “You’re in a sick bay.”
Player: “Already?”
Other table’s GM: “She missed a session.”
Player: “Evil GM compromise.”

Player 1: “We’ll go look for Hugo.”
Player 2: “As long as we don’t go looking for Yu-Gi-Oh.”
Finn: “Who’s Yu-Gi-Oh? A prostitute?”

Alysiana: “There’s a much more attractive woman at Lord Henrik’s.”
Finn: “That was me in a wig.”

“Funny thing if the princess chose Alysiana.”
“Finn would PAY for that.”

GM: “Wayfare 3 would come in handy.”
Finn: “I have Crosseyed Journey!”

“You’re all kinds of creepy, you know that?”

Jack: “German breadcrumbs?”
Finn: “Yeah. Apparently German breadcrumbs lead to incest.”
Set: “This conversation is OVER.”

Finn (to Jack): “It’s okay selling you drugs because you’re a pimp.”
Set: “I’M GOING INTO THE DREAMING. Things make more sense there.”

Jack: “There’s nothing of interest there.”
Flora: “Are you a Pooka now?”

Finn: “See? I’m not totally irresponsible and I brought my own booze.”

Set (in a pub in the Dreaming) “Flash my membership card of the Campaign for Real Ale.”

“I’ll just stand outside and watch for any signs of fire.”

“Chinface McGee … Now, that’s a name.”

“Did you quote Lord of the Rings in the Dreaming? Don’t do that, it could be dangerous! Next thing you know, we’ll be chased by Uruk-hai.”
“You mean those guys over there?”
“Oh crap.”

Alysiana (drunk): “Onwards! Oh, that’s a tree.”
Finn: “Yes! She’s wasted! I’ve been waiting for this!”
Set: “Please.”
Finn: “It’s a quest, there has to be an epic love affair.”

Jack: “We’ll get five horses.”
Set: “I’m 9 feet tall.”
(Set’s comment gets completely lost, so, slightly later:)
Set: “I remind you again: I’m 9 feet tall.”
Finn: “We’ll get you a were-pony or something, don’t worry about it.”

Finn: “I’ll go looking surreptitiously for some Knockers.”
Alysiana (drunk): “Oh, you cheeky boy, you!”

Finn: “You have soft drugs. …Do you have any on you at the moment?”
Flora: “I’ll check.” (rummages through bag, finding something) “…No, that’s parsley.”

Jack: “Flora, go with them so they don’t drown.”
(Flora’s too busy rummaging through her bag for some psychedelic sage to pay attention)
Flora: “The what now?”

“You’ve got a nose pinch! That’s an embryonic facepalm.”

“I’m not drunk. I’ve been operating without drugs for 48 hours. I’m trying to fix that.”

GM: “Make a Perception/Kenning roll. Yes, an actual roll! Really!”

“It’s amazing how many d6 Star Wars games ends with ‘and then Darth Vader killed them’.”

Another table’s GM: “You have a squirrel coming out of your coat, don’t you?”
Flora: “Yes.”
Another table’s GM: “That’s alright then.”
Alysiana: “I’m gonna need to get a ferret now. Damn you.”

Set: “I picture the rest of my life as a Knight and add a point of Banality.”

Set: “I’ve just realised, if he’s Batman, I’m slowly turning into Alfred.”

Jack: “Meh, he’s only a Boggan.”
Finn: “Flora’s gonna kick your ass any minute.”

(to Jack) “Dude, dude, he just agreed. Stop talking!”

“Now I’m asking the question we should have asked a lot earlier: how big is the ferry?”

Finn: “I wouldn’t fire that thing if you gave me crack.”
Jack: “It’s BRILLIANT. It’s just the WRONG COLOUR.”

“Guys, don’t let me geek out; let’s get on the ferry.”

(GM holds up a picture of a swamp)
Player: “That looks like it’s from the movie Southern Comfort.”
GM: “No, it’s from Google Images.”

“It’s weird playing a character who’s also sort of a nerd.”

“What is Mech Warrior without giant, stompy robots?”
“Plot.”

To be continued ... And, if you want to know what we're doing instead of Deadlands, we'll be doing some Dark Heresy or whatchamacallit. Either way you look at it, we'll probably wreck it. :D

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