Friday, 6 April 2012

Similar to a comrade motion picture, maternal fornicator!

We're caught in politics about who's to rule Nottingham, and if that wasn't all, the potion administered to the princess had echoes of Dark Fae, so even though she seems to feel better, she now has a Something Something Something Dark Side to her. Hmm. How do we fix that?

Actually, we need to put that one on hold because there's a wedding that needs planning - Finn's!! - and someone needs to become the Count of Nottingham, and as Jack's a baron, we went along with him to a big meeting of all the local barons.

There, we found Jack's uncle - who doesn't have one set of eyebrows, but two; the second pair look like a pair of caterpillars on his forehead and we suspect they are a separate species of Fae entirely - and Jack's uncle told us some rather interesting things about Jack's parents and why they were in Borneo. Apparently, there were assassins after them. Good to know! Moments later, an assassin crept up on us, trying to take out said uncle. We saved the day, of course, even though the assassin had a scary iron knife. We may or may not (emphasis on the latter) let him live.

Courtesy of Tuesday 3 April 2012's 2nd Edition Changeling: The Dreaming adventure at Chimera.


“You can ask him ‘have you betrayed the party?’”
“No, the question is ‘have you betrayed the party YET?’”

“So you want to play Changeling: The Lost so you can have Dice: The Found?”
“Yes. … Wait …”

“Is that a zodiac die?”
“Yes. Would you like to play with it?”
“Yes!!”
“Here you go.”

Finn: “You find a room with noises coming from it.”
GM (falsetto): “Ohh la la!”
Finn: “That’s not the noise.”
GM: (grunts)
Finn: “Sure, if that’s the noise you make.”

“Are you inferring I have some kind of harlequin obsession?”
“I’m not inferring, I’m outright telling.”

“When did you get an alchemy die?”
“When K gave it to me. … Would you like to play with that one as well?”

“We have to go north-south!”
“Does that mean ‘up’?”

Player 1: “Guys, the water has been shed.”
Player 2: “Than the flying fuck for that.”
Player 3: “Cock!”
Player 4: “My enormous, turgid penis.”
Player 1: “…That was a bit high-brow.”
Player 3: “Scrota? High-brow?”

“I continue my quest of the nether regions.”

“Don’t make me have flashbacks!”

GM: “There ain’t no chimeric dust, move on!”
Player: “Well, actually …”
GM: “No, not in my world!”

“Stop forensicking chimera! Stop it!”

Jack: “So it’s like the drugs thing?”
Set: “Yes, it’s like the drugs thing.”

Jack: “You know that niggling feeling you get at the back of the head?”
Set: “The one I get around Finn?”
Jack: “Yes, that one.”

Finn: “Flora, I’m sorry, but we can’t do the nasty in the library any more. I’m an engaged man.”
Flora (disappointed): “Aww.”

Finn (to Alysiana): “You know I can’t sleep with you either.”

Jack: “I inadvertently squired Finn.”
Set: “Cover your ears, sir. – FUCK!!!”

Finn: “I can’t have sex with any of you.”
Flora: “There’s always Mormonism.”
Finn: “I KNEW there was a reason I liked you! I’m going to the library to research Mormonism … Care to join me?”

Finn: “I’m a dragonslayer!”
GM: “I’m gonna have to have a dragon in the adventure now.”
Finn: “Feck.”

Player 1: “We’re in Game of Thrones.”
Player 2: “That’s not a good thing.”
Player 1: “We need to find a dwarf.”
Flora: “Me!”

Jack: “I’m going to look for my driver and my bodyguard.”
Player 1: “I have a horrible feeling you need to look in the fridge.”
Player 2: “Or … anywhere meat is kept.”
Player 3: “Pantry!”
Player 4: “No, not more pantries!”

“Pose for the DVD cover; this shit’s just got real!”

“The faeces just actualised! - I love upper-class slogans. - Do you feel lucky, miscreant?”

“Well, it’s better than your Godzilla theory.”

“Don’t tell him that. Last time, he flipped out and killed someone.”

“The hound of the Baskervilles is really fluffy.”

“Why is everyone wearing goggles? Are we re-enacting Ghostbusters?”

“Whatever happened to Rick Moranis?”

GM: “You’re running to the end of the drive just to call the clock?”
Set & Finn (enthusiastically): “Yes!”

“He’s Dr. frickin’ Mengele; he has blood glasses!”

Jack: “There are three and a half problems with that. First being that …”
Set: “It’s highly immoral?”
Jack: “No, that’s the half.”

Player: “This is very confusing for our GM.”
Set (to Jack): “Skip to the end, sir.”

Alysiana: “Jack, close your ears, please. – GOD DAMNIT!!”
Jack: “Do I still have to do this even though I’m a baron?”

“I like this, it’s like a buddy movie.”

Set: “Plain clothes, as we say in the trade.”
Finn: “Oooh, trade words! I’m writing it down.”
Set: “Police trade, not knights.”
Finn: “Dangit.”

“Can we have a bar fight? Buddy cop movies always have those. Can we use a siren?”

Finn: “Does that mean I can’t sleep on your sofa anymore?”
Alysiana: “No. You have a wife now. Deal with that.”
Finn: “Can I have my eggplant back?”

“Don’t listen to Obi-Wan.”

Jack: “I used to love bacon. Now it makes me feel uncomfortable and dead inside.

“I don’t have an evil beard, it’s full of … beer. It’s more of a Brian Blessed beard.”

Finn: “I don’t wanna be a squire.”
Player: “I wanna be a REAL wooden boy!”

Set: “If you get in trouble, I’ll get in more trouble.”
Finn: “You’re gonna get in loads of trouble.”
Set: “That’s what I’m trying to avoid.”

Finn: “I’m gonna go networking to see if I can un-squire myself.”

“What kind of Fae is he?”
“And are his eyebrows separate Fae?”

“Oh, it’s all gone a bit Harry Potter.”

“Whenever anyone says assassin or ninja, we make a Perception check.”

“Changelings are going to Borneo!”
“Road trip!”

“Are you as evil as I am at this moment?”

“That was the worst assassination ever.”

“Iron knives, everyone dies.”

GM: “Nobody died this session.”
Finn: “My hope died. And my sex life.”

That's quite enough madness for this week, but we're back next week for more!

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