Friday, 6 July 2012

We don't need no coffee, let this building block explode

When we finally managed to get on-topic, we paid for the pizza and then headed over to a deserted building so that Will the human hacker could get started on tracking down the missing elf we're supposed to find. Meanwhile, Dru the eco-warrior dwarf checked up on her eBay bids in the background, and Mr G the troll mage/enforcer and JDog the orc gangster had a heart-to-heart. JDog learned to be worried about his new employer/partner-in-crime very quickly.

Unfortunately, we were caught by a team of Chinese-talking assassins, but we pulled the pin off a grenade and legged it. A survivor came after us (despite some great blending into a crowd we got up to), but he was quickly, ehh, liquidated. Or liquified? One of those.

Injured yet knowing where we had to go, we healed up and headed to an Internet café in Iron Jaw territory, where the target was last seen. He looks to have been taken captive by the Iron Jaws. We thought we were getting out of there okay but ... we might have been mistaken.

Courtesy of Tuesday 3 July 2012's Shadowrun adventure at Chimera.


“So your solution to getting STDs is …”
“Gotta catch ‘em all.”

“So how could Dr Doom have a son?”
“The way people normally do.”

“And I almost said that with a straight face; I’m proud of myself.”

“I held back.”
“You held back THE PARTY.”

“Does Jedi mind tricks work on him? – WHY was that the first thing that came to my mind?!”

“That’s one of my favourite moments.”
“When The Simpsons used to be good.”

“The list of films I need to see is now longer than my lifespan!”

“Hitler! He was misunderstood … It’s my controversial West End musical.”

“I think we’ve just been Godwin’d and we haven’t even had an argument.”

Player 1: “Has anyone mentioned Hitler?”
Player 2+3: “He did.”

“I just thought of a title. ‘Hitler: Misunderstood Genius’. In smaller writing underneath: Not Moby Dick the Musical.”

“This proves an important point: you will always pick Batman over Jesus.”

“I’ve read lots of scriptures.”
“You need to get out more.”

“Make me a roll for tying the kangaroo down.”
“Is it Reaction-based? Four.”
“You have not succeeded in tying the kangaroo down.”

Two Little Boys … as performed by Gary Glitter.”
“Scrota is met!”
“Only if he gets some.”

“Congratulations, this is Shadowrun the clip show.”

JDog: “You know I ain’t gonna pay.”
Mario: “Shaddap-ah!”

GM: “I’m finding it very hard to keep in stereotype.”

“In America, maybe you CAN get a gun for less than a pizza.”

JDog: “Why’s this fool following us?”
Player: “Why are you now Mr T?”

“You do Freudian slips while you’re writing. I didn’t even know that was possible.”

Mr G: “WE get paid on completion. YOU get paid on completion. Do I have something on my forehead?”

“Are you saying this out loud?”
“No, it’s my brain on crack.”

“I put the noodles into the recycling machine to make paper.”

Player: “Are you saying Chinese people can’t be Jewish?”
GM: “I’m just saying this particular Chinese man isn’t.”
Player: “Fair enough, I can’t argue with the GM.”
GM: “You can argue with me as much as I like.”

(While waiting for Will the hacker to do his thing)
JDog: “Some kind of Zen shit?”
Mr G: “Boredom.”
JDog: “Wanna gamble?”

“He’d better be working and not watching porn.”

“How are you so dumb and so clever at the same time?”

Mr G: “People don’t normally live long around me.”
JDog: “That’s some reassuring shit there, home boy!”

JDog: “So people always die around you and you’re too trusting? Do you get screwed over by Johnsons a lot?”
Mr G: “All the time.”

Will: “It’s about a 6% chance we’ll get caught.”
JDog: “How much are you paying me again?”
Dru: “50 grand.”
JDog: “Those are perfectly acceptable odds.”

JDog: “You named your computer Doris?”
Will: “Yes. It’s invincible.”

“Are you a BTL junkie as well?”
“Junkie’s a harsh word …”
“MY DAY KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER.”

“I’m just waiting because at SOME point, you’ll HAVE to say something that doesn’t scare the bejesus out of me!”

“In my brain, something’s shouing ‘shoot him! Shoot him now!’ but my mind is busy talking about gang names.”

GM: “My Freudian slips are getting geeky.”

“Either we just found something or his microwave just finished.”

(After finding out we’d have to go through Iron Jaw territory to track someone)
Will: “So. Hawaii?”
Dru: “I’ve heard it’s nice this time of year.”

“Your definition of fun is getting your head shot off!”

“Meanwhile, your Mage is twitching like a Silent Hill monster.”

“I just want to know if you can summon bigger fish.”
“Then it’s the game for you.”

GM: “All you hear is someone shouting in Japanese. Chinese! I’m not racist!”

“It’s not even funny or at all sexual.”

GM: “You’re out of initiative; your enemy is a red smear.”

“Considering The Simpsons is older than the Internet, which is a frightening thought in itself …”

“I like to imagine all of this happening in-game.”

“I think she may be a murderer.”
“We’re all murderers! You made a guy look like jam!”

“I understand what ‘the other side of the road’ means!”

“This talking thing you do … has to stop.”

“Or you’re a balloonist because you’ve once glanced at a balloon.”
“I’ve already done that once and it turned out all right!”

“This here is Creep. He sucks all the joy out of the room. On the plus side, he’s one intimidating mothafucka.”

“Note to self: make my last word ‘precipitation’ to confuse the hell out of everyone.”

Dru (after being handed a pint of coffee): “I’m going to need to go to the toilet after this.”

“I don’t run, I shadow.”
“I noticed you didn’t run earlier when you got shot.”

GM: “That’s the kindest an Iron Jaw has ever been to you. He might not last long.”

“That’s a MASSIVE assumption. It’s an assumption the size of a GIANT ASS.”

“YOU can turn down the job.”
“You’d be as dead as disco. – I’ve always wanted to say that.”

“In 2040, Saturday Night Fever was re-made starring Justin Bieber.”
“Do you want us to shoot you?”

“Oh, the old Wookie prisoner trap.”
“It’s so cliché it’s come full circle.”

All's well that ends well, as they say, although unfortunately for us, we still have to track that ugly elf down and blank his memory. More next week!

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