Is it bestiality if you're a metamorph?

Further delvings into the floating city we found last week. There was a tower, where a door mysteriously happened to be open (it's good when you've got a person with the Luck word in the party!). At the top we discovered something with vampire glass, so the building started to melt. Stuff like that.

There was also an orb that could, umm, turn nuclear. Our pet wizard turned it into a staff, because he didn't get an artifact weapon like the rest of us. Problem is that if he's ever to drop the damn thing, we'll all die in a Michael Bay style explosion.

When we got back to Tilverton we found that we had received summons to our respective gods' temples. Answering those summons meant that we're now properly middle management, sub-gods to the major gods Silvanus, Oghma and Tempus. Varyon's going his own way, because he's big-headed the world lacks a god of magic.

Courtesy of Monday 23 October 2017's Godbound session.

“I hadn’t checked the building yet!”
“Well, if anyone was in there, they’re dead now.”

Player 1: “Okay, loot?”
Player 2: “Hunt, hunt, search!”
GM: “You find 2500 corpses.”
Player 1: “I’m not interested in corpses.”

“I’ll relay this to you and our pet necromancer.”

GM: “No, he’s in a mushroom cloud of doom.”
Player: “Oh, cool.”

Elani: “Did they all die?”
GM: “They all point to Varyon.”
Varyon: “Whaaat? They were coming at me with spears.”

GM: “You will set off a magical nuke without the fallout.”
Player: “That we know of.”
GM: “That you know of.”

“Nothing bad’s gonna happen.”
“I’m gonna hold that against him.”

“Note to self: should’ve given the orb to the Drow.”

Elani: “Okay, I kill them all.”
GM: “You kill them all. You feel slightly guilty.”
Elani: “No, not really.”
Varyon: “I’m proud of you!”
Elani: “NOW I feel guilty.”

“If this was a Michal Bay film, you drop a fork and BOOM!”
“And then there’s a lens flare on top of the staff as JJ Abrams walks past.”

“I have a veritable army to take care of.”
“I have a LITERAL army to take care of.”

“That’s how it starts. They start gaining influence and then they die.”

“Would it be called the Guild of Denethor, or is that too—”
“Pretentious?”

GM: “It’s not that bad. Well, it sort of is, but isn’t.”

“Silvanus is a lady?!” (no, he’s not)

Player: “I greet the exarch in a way that’s fitting.”
GM: “You greet him in a fitting way.”
Player: “HOWDY, PARDNER!”
GM: “Less Texan. Much less Texan.”

“Doesn’t Tilverton have a wall around it?”
“Yes, I built it. Re-built it. I’m Mexican!”

“Is it bestiality if you’re a polymorph?”

“We’re going to be together for a while now.”
“When’s the wedding?”

“I don’t think he wants to be known as the god of being prattish.”

Player: “We’re like the four founders of Hogwarts. Varyon’s Slytherin.”
Denny: “I’m Ravenclaw!”
Player: “Elani’s Hufflepuff.”
GM (to Gunda): “And you’re Gryffindor.”
Gunda: “Eww. I feel dirty.”
GM: “As you should.”

“I won’t make the same mistakes. I’ll make different mistakes.”

To be continued!