Oh, and one of them turned out to be an Eldar. We brought him back to the base and interrogated him. He didn't last long, but that really wasn't our fault. After all, he shouldn't have been a Xenos heretic in the first place.
Courtesy of Tuesday 6 March 2012’s Warhammer 40k: Deathwatch adventure at Chimera.
Player 1: “You’re not allowed to eat those yet.”
Player 2 (holding an After Eight): “Because it’s not after 8 o’clock?”
Player 3: “Awww, you guys.”
GM: “I’m solving this by going, ‘sod this, I’m going for a drink’!”
Player: “Why is Finn running your game?”
Gyos: “Brother, I think your vox might be stuck on repeat. All I’m getting is the same message over and over again. What did you say after that?”
Drem’Tu: “We shall annihilate them!”
Gyos: “Nope, still there.”
Regaine: “He hasn’t got a leg to stand on.”
Player: “I’m so proud of you at this moment!”
GM: “Dear god!”
“Thank god nobody heard that.”
“Oh, I did.”
“Space Marines, taking you out one leg at a time.”
“The Hobble Marines, they might chase after us, but they won’t get there in time.”
“Hobble Marines? Standards of Chapter naming have really gone downhill.”
“Is that going to hinder your flamethrower?”
“Do you care?”
“Not particularly.”
(Looking at ingredients for Olbas oil)
“ ‘Cajuput oil’?”
“People!”
“Very small Cajuns.”
Gyos: “You are blessed, Xenos!”
Orc: “AAAARGHH!!”
Gyos: “Let me bless you some more!”
GM: “You are about to enter into hand-to-hand combat.”
Player: “Did I advance that far?”
GM: “No. They charged.”
“Please note I do not mind if you shoot the orcs facing me.”
Gyos (singing): “The orc, the orc, the orc is on fire … We don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn. Burn Xenos heretics, burn!”
GM: “He makes an entirely un-orcish sound and falls over.”
“I don’t think we’re very good Space Marines.”
“No at the moment, no.”
“Does it hurt your throat to be an orc?”
“It’s hard to know if he’s taken my bolt damage, because he’s on fire.”
“Is that a 99?”
“It’s a glorious miss.”
“Does this orc have a name?”
“He will do if he survives this fight.”
“The flaming ones panic, but they’re on fire anyway.”
“Ahh, the Imperium … Stomping on clues.”
Commissar: “Interrogation chamber? I tend to just throw them off the tower.”
Drem’Tu: “Commissar! Shot any good men recently?”
Commissar: “I only shoot BAD men.”
GM: “Shortest interrogation scene ever. Well done, guys!”
Gyos: “Can I take the Eldar and eat a bit?”
GM: “First sensible thing anyone’s done this session, and it’s cannibalism.”
“The Facebook is of Chaos? How have we not noticed this?”
“Has Navigator Pegg sufficiently protected his ears from hearing Xenos heresy?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I like him and would hate to have to burn him.”
“Why are you trying to get rid of her unicorn?”
“I’m not trying to get rid of it; I’m trying to kill it.”
“I believe our business here is concluded.”
“Oh yes, please.”
Next session is this Tuesday. Quotes from the latest ChimeraCon are saved for another one of those rainy days.
