Eventually, we found ourselves at the Rift, in a camp with a commander more than happy to execute his information officers. (Hence the mop and bucket. You'll see.) We also managed to recruit a poor young lad into the Imperial Guards. We'll see how that pans out. He might forgive us eventually. Maybe.
Courtesy of Tuesday 28 February 2012’s Warhammer 40k: Deathwatch adventure at Chimera.
“Get to the table!”
“You’ve not started yet.”
“The reason we’ve not started yet is because you’re not at the table!”
“We’ve just finished a game of Monty Python Zombie Fluxx.”
“It was like a million voices cried out in the night, saying ‘I’m pining for the fjords’!”
“Slow, deliberate approach. I’m not slow!”
“Considerate approach.”
“Yeah, that’s the one!”
“Can I please face the enemy?”
“No, you have to make a roll for that.”
“We’re not the judgemental type of Marines, are we?”
“We’re MARINES.”
“I can live without dignity as long as I don’t die.”
“This is gonna end well. (rolls 4) It ended well!”
“Brace and shoot the fricken monkey!”
“There’s a -20 on shooting the monkey because it’s tiny.”
“I will NOT shoot the monkey.”
“His head is on fire, but he keeps on going.”
“They should have these crit tables for Call of Cthulhu.”
“You are no longer a man, you’re a surface texture.”
GM: “M?”
M: “Hello. Can I kill things?”
“Fire a bolt pistol.”
“Spank that monkey.”
“Don’t use the weapon, just stomp on him.”
“You’ve been cleansed! It’ll be like one of those 80’s movies, where they all jump up and high-five.”
“Pull out Marine deck chairs?”
“Cool guys don’t watch explosions, they walk away from them.”
“Are we still in initiative?”
“Just wait until A kills them.”
“They’re not so much organised as running for their lives. Except the guy whose head’s on fire, he’s more running around in circles.”
“Dude, you look like Ghost Rider!”
“It’s not funny, my head is on fire! It’s not as cool as it looks.”
“A dead heretic is a happy heretic.”
Navigator Pegg: “Have you SEEN the ship? It barely fits you guys. It’s basically a Volkswagen.”
“Do we have to tell Games Workshop there’s an unpainted figure on the board?”
“Yes, we’ll have to take it off.”
“Bethanon is basically a Brian Blessed wannabe.”
“Brian Blessanon!”
GM: “It inspires him but not in the way you were hoping.”
“Clown Marines! They come equipped with red noses and flowers.”
“And instead of bikes, unicycles!”
“And when they hit anything, they fall apart.”
“And more Space Marines fall out than could possibly have fit inside.”
Gyos: “Recite the Imperial Guard litany.”
Drem’Tu: “Is there a mute button on this thing?”
Calcion (singing): “The wheels on the bus go round and round …”
Regaine: “DEFINITELY mute.”
“Why are you caring? This is MY job.”
Marine: “The Emperor protects.”
NPC: “And burns!”
Player: “He has a cream for that now.”
NPC: “I’ll have some of that, sir! It might keep the roaches off.”
“There’s a desert and there’s always something in the desert if you look hard enough.”
GM: “Have a +20 modifier. He’s obviously an idiot. It’s a wonder he managed to find his way out of bed this morning.”
GM: “I love how you made a bit that should’ve taken 20 minutes last about the entire session.”
“Fail by ten. Oww!” (hits knee on table)
“Very good roleplay!”
“Find a rock, put a foot on it, point dramatically: The end is in sight!”
“Screw you guys, I’m killing some of my subordinates.”
“What’s the guide’s name?”
“Moran.”
“Dylan? Oh god, we’re guided by Dylan Moran.”
“The Emperor protects.”
“That he does, brother.”
“What, no adjective? I’m disappointed.”
“This is my way of Scrutinising.”
“By telling everyone?!”
“Aren’t you the people person?”
“Yeah, but he’s a git!”
“In the background, a few guards with mops and buckets walk past.”
“I have buggies, but I don’t think they’ll hold your weight.”
“Must. Avoid. Making. Are-you-calling-us-fat jokes.”
“This is 40k, dude; there’s no chance we weren’t gonna be the bad guys.”
“There were no puns tonight.”
“You can’t pun as a Space Marine.”
And to finish off, next Saturday/Sunday is the next ChimeraCon!
