Game: Mutants & Masterminds
Place: GM’s home
Sometimes we also meet outside of our favourite gaming store. Here's a session of Mutants & Masterminds, where the group was twice the size (12). It's set in the early 1960s, albeit with a slightly different way of getting there. The group of superheroes - and a pizza delivery guy who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time (or he has UNFATHOMABLE superpowers!) and a sidekick wannabe - were out to save the world. With the help of a
“I’ll take gay Zorro over KKK man any day.”
“To the AwesomeMobile!”
“You have an AwesomeMobile?”
“It’s an old Chevy.”
“His name’s Othello? Was he bitten by a radioactive Shakespeare tome?”
(why no game is serious with this player in)
“Because you uppercut an Aids positive teenager at McDonald’s, that’s why!”
“Are you guys playing?”
“I’m already there. The name’s Norman; I’m a middle-aged man trying to become a sidekick.”
“Why isn’t this corridor moving like the other ones?”
“You’re Gremlin, right? Get in.”
“I don’t know what you’re saying, but I like it.”
“Aaaargh! The metaphors are coming right at me!”
“I’ll sit there in a typical 1960s woman way.”
“He saved Kennedy … from the White House. It came alive.”
NPC: “Are you up for the challenge?”
Superhero 1: “Always.”
Superhero 2: “Absolutely.”
Superhero 3: “What am I doing here?”
Norman: “I’m now Gremlin’s sidekick.”
Gremlin: ”No! No, you’re not!”
“What’s the pizza boy doing here?”
“He’s Incognito.”
“GM talked about him and he arrived.”
“Well, he DOES have teleport.”
“Somehow a gun made out of a suit sounds awesome.”
“I’m not the laughing Buddha, damn it. I’m the glass-you-in-the-face Buddha!”
“The Omens told him. The Omens, commonly known as whiskey.”
“He’s bundled by cat girls; it’s the best day ever.”
“You’ve punched a burger’s mum in the face, well done.”
“If anyone actually loses the will to live because of my punning, do let me know and I’ll stop.”
“Before you ask, no, there aren’t any minotaur milking missions.”
“Why would I ask that?”
“Because it’s YOU.”
“I thought you were gonna hide behind the initiative order.”
“Like an episode of Fringe.”
“That’s it, embrace your destiny.”
“The minotaur would burst like a balloon if there was physics to allow that.”
“He’s not having a nice conversation; he’s being distracted by the Gremlin.”
“He’s our best friend, he likes hugs!”
“Baron van Awesome here! Call me Awesome, everyone does.”
“Of course I recognise it, it’s my noodle cup!”
“It’s got a dent in it because a god tried to kill it once and someone used it for cereal.”
“And ramen!”
“The two historical figures who have become robots are Hitler and Marilyn Monroe. Coincidence? I think not!”
“Coincidence? I hope so!”
“It also occurs to me that you’re a total and utter MORON.”
“No one talks that way to Plasma Man!”
“Holy crap, someone has a skill we can use.”
“We impaled them with American flags and it was all terribly patriotic, even though I’m British.”
“Odin and Santa are one and the same in this setting.”
“When women say no, I womanise them.”
“Womanise? Is that what they call it these days?”
“I’m retconning reality.”
“England isn’t a frozen waste.”
“Have you ever been to Manchester in winter?”
“I’m researching gods that are asleep in Siberia.”
“Something of a niche subject for books.”
“That’s not even a pun, it’s been done.”
“We have no idea who he is.”
“I could ask some tights.”
“I’m just trying to work out if my ego is big enough for me to think I’M Jupiter and can take a clobbering.”
“I wonder why I just turned down a shampoo commercial for this.”
“You’re like the illegitimate son of Brian Blessed!”
“Hey, think of what you’re saying there. Not one of my parents are Brian Blessed.”
“BOTH of your parents are Brian Blessed?”
“Can we somehow stop Cats from ever being made?”
GM: “Sorry, when I get drunk, I tend to confuse Greek and Roman pantheons. It’s never hampered me before.”
“If you do this, the world will end and you’ll have no more fun.”
Norman (drinks from a god-awakening chalice): “It’s a bit gritty …”
GM: “SHAZAMM! You are now a Demigod Adventurer! This was not the plan I had in mind, but fuck it.”
GM: “Do you want to bring anything?”
Othello: “The biggest book I can find.”
Player: “FEAR THE BIBLIOGRAPHY!”
“We’re heroes, we don’t sneak – we front door them!”
Norman-turned-Jupiter: “What should I tell my wife?”
Samuel Harrison: “Don’t tell her anything!”
Norman-turned-Jupiter: “You don’t think she’ll notice?”
“My car has a boxing glove in the boot?”
“It does now!”
“Watch how he blocks the elbow with his face.”
GM: “His head explodes. But that’s far too graphic for a children’s comic, so he just falls over and complains about taxes.”
“So mathematically, what does ‘+ Jesus’ mean?”
Gremlin: “…I have Plymouth Fury!”
GM: “One hero point just for the Plymouth Fury line! …My car love is currently eclipsing my ability as a GM right now.
“Ebony and ivory!”
“No!”
“They’re black and white, come on!”
“Dude, you’re an awesome superhero, well done!”
“I just micro-punned.”
“I just wanted to be Captain Hammer, only more stupid.”
GM: “He’s only just discovered it, so as far as I’m concerned, the writers just had a new idea.”
“Imagine it’s a dragon and not a duck.”
“He’s literally a drake!”
“I’ve got the hint now.”
“Really? It only took five rounds.”
“You both look epic. You’re both played by Richard Burton on crack.”
“We’ve punched all the human out of him.”
“That’s the technical term.”
“Julie Andrews no longer stars in The Sound of Music. You do. Next time it’s made, you’ll star next to Cricket Man. I’m aware I’ve completely raped the movie now.”
More Changeling on Tuesday night, which you can read here on Wednesday!
