What does a critical hit do these days?

We continued our foray into the woods. Or, rather, into the cave we found last time. There were goblins inside that cave, and a big brutal bugbear.

We're happy to report that the cave is no longer infested with such vermin - because in D&D, ethnic cleansing is not only not frowned upon, it's positively encouraged!

After the first session, which we will henceforth refer to as the pilot episode, series one started out with some changes to the cast, so here's the smashing new line-up:

• Hematite Frostbeard, dwarf cleric
• Karak-Dag, human fighter
• Malinda Hornraven, dragonblooded human sorceror
• Rhogar Shieldbiter, dragonborn barbarian
• Tan Elin, half-elf monk

Does a person count as a flammable object?

Because we were - and this is going to sound a bit weird - one player up and one player down, and the new 5th Ed Player's Handbook was out, we got to re-spec our characters any way we liked.

So that's what we did, and as that didn't take all night but we didn't think to bring a game with us or something, we decided to have an early one for a change and then resume the adventure next session.

On the plus side, our new player is now in play. :D

Can you abuse the system?

The new edition of D&D is out (sort of), and we're trying the starter set to see what it's like. The 4th edition was a bit hit and miss (mostly miss), but it seems as if they've taken the few good/useful bits of 4th and put on the useful/working 3.5 edition to make the 5th. Anyway.

I won't go into the plot, seeing as how it's the adventure in the starter pack, but it involved missing cousins, goblin ambushes, thickets and caves.

We're using the stereotypes in the box as they are (we might tweak them later when the actual book comes out), so here's the line-up:

• Cade Tealeaf - Halfling Rogue
• Hematite Frostbeard - Dwarf Cleric
• Karak-Dag - Human Fighter (Folk Hero)
• Rinn Moonbrook - Elf Wizard

Offhanded guess becomes true!

I think we can summarise this session with "wow".

So, in the crowd, we saw this weird dude - who turned out was a Sunaj called Marvin. A Sunaj is some kind of Splugorth minion. He offered to give Booker something that will help him/us in the fight to come, and Booker managed to make the Sunaj agree to help out with the Lion situation.

Lion was brought forth, shed his disguise and was - gasp say it ain't so - a Rakshasa. Surprise! (Not really.) Fighting broke out. Booker emptied his guns into Lion's chest and Gorbash then grabbed hold of Lion, who turned into mist form beacuse he could. Dragonbreath singed him slightly, we think. At any rate, the Rakshasa disappeared and we had helped save the East Side Boys gang.

Their leader, Maria, having had the Cyber-Knight as a full body shield in the fight took a shine to him, and spent the next few hours flirting with him over cups of tea in the company of Baradhi. Gorbash went to talk to Ixchal about what was going on (Rita requested her presense), and Booker went to receive his gift. The gift turned out to be an Elom, a symbiod creature whose only real downside (maybe) is that only servants of Splugorth are ever seen wearing them. At the back of their neck. Still, it might come in useful later, so Booker named it "Bally".

We finished off by finally meeting Rita, a.k.a. Hecate, who hadn't really thought to check what dimension she was asked to make a portal to/from. She agreed that maybe that gate needs stopping after all. But that's the next adventure. Cliffhanger!!

WOULD PEOPLE STOP BEING SCARED OF US?!

After getting a good night's sleep back home at the Blackstone headquarters, we followed clues. Booker went to the Crow Bar and got sloshed on psychedelic potions for "research purposes", and Gorbash went to see if Ixchal was home. She wasn't.

However, Jayson flashed some Cyber-Knight armour, making shopkeepers a bit nicer to us, and we found clues that took us north east, to the Silversmith Gang territory. Apparently they're quite nice ... as gangs go.

Further on from them were the East Side Boys, another gang, a couple of whose members were seen escorting Rita roundabout when she went AWOL. The ESB were really rather concerned about our presense, because our reputation preceeded us. Their attitude was along the lines of "PLEASE DON'T KILL US". We had no plans to. Although, their leader Maria's reliance on a "powerful mage" called Lion was a bit creepy. Lion insulted the lot of us to various degrees. For instance, claiming the Cyber-Knight wasn't a Cyber-Knight. Maybe we'll feed him that fusion bomb next session. You can't trust people who claim to be powerful mages when they're defrauding people with psionics!

On a sad note, we've lost our Glitter Boy player due to him having other commitments (we wish him well). On the other hand, he might or might not be replaced by a guy who's already familiar with this blog, because he's been quoted on here before. It might up the madness a bit more. GASP!

We're never going to finish this adventure

I forgot to post this last week because parents were visiting from abroad and stuffs. Last week, we played a bit of Relic, and I should've actually taken notes because there were some funny things said, but I didn't, so never mind.

We went through the portal in Rita's shop and ended up in the City of Brass. It's not a Mortal Instruments book. (... Or is it?) We took a boat trip, talked to Necrophims and their Soul Snakes and tried bargaining with them. It went so-so.

We got through a magic circle outside a door to what appeared to be Rita's workshop, and we've discovered that she's some kind of alien intelligence. We may have helped ourselves to some gems she'll never miss. (*cough*)

And we finished by going back on the boat all the way back to the portal and left the shop with fresh clues.

Find the storekeeper, save the world

We finished off the last of the battle. Jayson's laser rifle misfired and blew away a part of a building. Before it collapsed, Gorbash saved the woman and child who we could see were in the building. Both him and Jayson then broke into song to calm them down. The remaining Rakshasa had already run away at this point.

While Gorbash went to flirt have a chat with Ixchal, the rest of the group took the recently made homeless mother and child back to the Blackstone Juggernaut headquarters, where they were assured they would be perfectly safe - and the mum could even get a job.

As Baradhi had a look through the (unexpected) eyes of Sister Anna, there were clues. Perhaps Rita the Babe was a bit more powerful in the wizarding department than we had expected. Back at her shop, we encountered another group of mercenaries - difference was their (stupidly paid) mission wasn't to find her, it was to kill her, but a bargain was struck: we find her and cash in, then they can take over and cash in their job and everyone's happy.

We closed the session having explored the magical runes protecting the tables in the shop and even found our way into the cellar ... and there was a gate. OMINOUS!!

Is there anyone you HAVEN'T shot?

Unfortunately, we were not one but TWO players down last session, so we had to resort to playing boardgames instead. Or in this case a card game - we played Cards Against Humanity with great merriment. Probably hit scrota in record time or something.

Since I was too busy laughing to jot down quotes, here's the final episode of Jurisfiction: Meanwhile in Narnia, in which the agents meet Aslan (who in no way has the chocolatey voice of Liam Neeson) and explain a few things to him. And then they shoot him with a tranquiliser dart, of course. This is a roleplaying game, after all.

They also solve the mystery of whodunnit, and "accidentally" tranq Peter Pevensie just as he's trying to hit on Carmilla. It was the best day ever!

You know those innocent bystanders ...

We decided to start early and finish off the scene from last week so that we'd be ready to rejoin Drake when his player arrived, but as it happens, he never did. :(

Still in Rakshasa territory, we spoke to a guy called Richard (I consider the naming of that NPC to be a tribute to Rik Mayall, even though I don't think that was the case) who was happy to divulge pretty much everything he knew even before Baradhi did a little mind control on him. Richard later got his head ripped off by Sister Anna, the Rakshasa lady of which we're now sworn enemies.

Thinking it was terribly uncouth to rip a perfectly decent guy's head off, we went to town on a bunch of Rakshasa, and the rest of the session seemed to go by in a flash - and we're only like half-way through combat!

Also: We have seen Booker's secret hideout. It's kind of creepy. And the Rakshasa are now terrified of Booker. As well they should be!

Getting maimed? Not in the mood!

Well, the Rakshasa were toast and the party survived, so that's good. The group also had a chance to catch up with Booker. Drake went and got his armour sorted, as his player was indisposed.

Booker, it turns out, used to kill innocent people for money before he met us. We daresay it explains a few things. The amulet he bought off a friend (who was a little too eager to get rid of it) turns out to be a symbol of Splugorth, and that's generally not considered a good fashion accessory.

And then we used those red bandannas to infiltrate Rakshasa Raider territory while trying to find that big box full of doom gate, and uh, let's just say we're starting to have a Bad Feeling about this campaign ...

Who doesn't want to roll a bucket of d6?

Investimagations continued. Baradhi and Jayson went to a pub so that Baradhi could appear to be asleep, when he in actual fact was in astral form looking at Rita the Major Babe's shop with Jayson standing sitting guard. There were three large smoke pillars - solid on the astral plane - that took up most of the room.

Meanwhile, the other three were back at base, with Booker still in charge. Because the other two didn't check back in, Gorbash was dispatched to make sure they weren't in trouble.

They weren't. They just hadn't checked in. The three kept looking around a bit more, and talked to a shopkeeper.

And then they didn't check in on a very good line, so Drake was dispatched. Booker stayed back at the base ... having a coffee ... very slowly ...

And then a lot of Rakshasa came for the rest of the party, from every direction ...

So. Anyone for Rakshasa mince?

All good deeds must be given with a minor crime

And we're off!

So, we killed Milan, the dragon allied with the Rakshasa, and that was just the last adventure. For this, Booker Dayes (the gunslinger) got a mystery box from the Gray Seers, filled with all manner of weird and wonderful things. There's a protective amulet, a kinetic force gun (totally frickin awesome), a brick with a cryptic message, some red bandannas and a bag of what 1200 credits later turned out to be table salt.

As the Blackstone Juggernauts chief went out to buy loo roll or something, he put Booker Dayes in charge, so when a creepy guy called Rolf (without an Aussie accent, we hasten to add) said he wanted us to find his missing girlfriend, Booker got us a pretty sweet deal. Hopefully.

The missing woman is slightly beyond a Jessica Rabbit level of hotness, so the rest of the team seemed quite interested in helping out. Perhaps less so Christopher Drake the Glitter Boy who, when not in his armour, is dead from the waist down. Well, presumably he still is even in his armour, it's just that he can move around.

Baradhi and Jayson went to check out the place where Jessica Rabbit has a magic shop, and Gorbash had a look around with Drake but things were heating up, so they got out of there. It might have had something to do with Drake threatening to maim a guy ...