Sunday, 19 June 2011

You’ve been mindforked

This weekend spells ChimeraCon 4 - a 24 hour roleplaying event at Chimera in Beeston. These are the quotes from the first session's Eclipse Phase game, which was a continuation of the story from ChimeraCon 3 in April. This time, the team went to win a gatecrashing contest which conveniently took them exactly to the planet they wanted to go - Echo 5, where we heard wonderful harp music and were told to "mind the weave". Whatever that's supposed to mean.


“You get a cool thing with legs, we get to FLOAT.”

“I’m basically a drug-dealing kid in this game too. I blame YOU!”

“Can I have a printer in my arse again?”

“I want to be a missile! I can fly for a limited amount of time!”

“We appreciate the extra level of roleplaying, but we’d also like to hear what you’re saying.”

Player: “I have a sword in my buttock. Can I fire it later?”
GM: “No, you do NOT have an ass-launcher.”

“Yuri, come here. I’m just going to adjust your audio sensors a bit. WHACK!”

Player: “Can I stab him?”
GM: “If you want.”

“I like the idea of an arachnobot smoking weed: ‘I have no lungs’!”

“You snooze, you lose. Heh. You can’t lose, because you can’t snooze.”

“Maybe now is the time to take one of those tablets. You … look funny.”
“So I’m a comedian now? Do I AMUSE you?”
“Not really.”

“I still have seven legs. Okay, six. Four! Fuck it, I’ll just get up and walk.”

“It’ll work if we turn it off and on again.”
(Likening the Pandora gates to an internet connection that sometimes drops)

“Yuri’s a whore! He gets around!”
“Yuri goes into eeeeeveryone!”

“You’ve been mindforked.”

“If you sorted out his ass and he wasn’t there … whose ass did he sort out?”

“Welcome to Eclipse Phase - it’s all kinds of mental!”

“This is a VERY vague theory, so don’t quote me on it, BUT …”

“You got forked, dude. Forked off.”

“I’m leaking a fluid that I don’t know what it is, but it looks important!”

“Believe me, I was bitten by a very small dog and now I’m afraid of Rottweilers.”
(it’s not the size of that which came before that matters when it comes to fearing things! Giant spiders or Titans … doesn’t matter)

GM: “You rip him a new one. He falls over.”
Player: “That’s how we do it on Mars, baby!”

Player: “You’re Sean Pliskin. Getting blown up is what you do!”
Pliskin: “No it isn’t!”
Player: “Name an episode you HAVEN’T blown up!”
Pliskin: “…Shut up!”

“You’re glimmering like a mofo. You need to get some black spray paint done.”

“Technically, he didn’t decimate him; he desecrated the body.”

“I had a dream, and in it was a moron.”
“That wasn’t a dream.”

“I like the idea of you having a disco as a psychological treatment.”

“I copyright all this to me. I will publish this and be respected once again!”

To be continued at ChimeraCon 5, one dares presume! :)

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