This week, Alyssiana was recovering from last session's shenanigans and was unfortunately unable to join the rest of The Band when we had Finn crawl through sewers, Set searching an old lady's house and finding a portal to the Dreaming in her back yard. Which we then all entered, encountered a weird king who required some peculiar haggling, a talking clock in a dainty, old cottage, and a couple of enchanted pigs - one in a pig sty, one in a pot, cooking on the stove ... So, who's for sausages? Or should we put up the "SILLY" sign again, made especially for this session?
”It’s like a children’s novel with blades.”
“It’s a rather marrowing experience.”
“You could say that. YOU could say that.”
“…She was a member of the Hitler Youth.”
“Not the band!”
“They tried to make a sitcom out of Hitler and Eva Braun.”
“WHO?! WHO tried making that monstrosity?!”
“The Muslim faith was a lot more liberal in those days. Either that or clothes were REALLY expensive.”
“I go to great lengths for comedy sometimes.”
“Really? We hadn’t noticed.”
(After a long, long rant)
“Do you get my point?”
“Yes. I’ve got it several times by now.”
“Is there anywhere I can get clean? This is the second time in this adventure I’ve been covered in faeces.”
GM: “The only thing in there is a school uniform.”
Player: “Great, so I’m gonna look like AC frickin’ DC.”
“A bulletproof school uniform, just what every boy needs.”
“As long as they don’t aim for the knees or elbows.”
“Fear my +4 School Uniform of Protection! Fear it!”
“See this card? It says ‘Pun Immunity’. Go away!”
“So you’re saying they’re hiding him in a septic tank?”
“He’s having a crappy experience.”
“As long as he doesn’t get crap XP.”
“He’ll get bonus XP for the GM giving him shit.”
“Thank you, crack, you’ve saved me again!”
“Let’s search as many manhole covers we can. The joke’s on you, we’re in the same car later!”
“I’m currently going over in my head how far this would’ve got if Set was there. Not far at all.”
(falling out of the boot of a car) “I’m gonna need some help, someone appears to have stolen vertical.”
Set: “How many laws has he broken this morning?”
Jack: “None that I can think of.”
Set: “Then I didn’t see anything.”
(after a player failed to recall the name of a place inaccurately)
“You remember the name?!”
“Yeah, it’s written there.” (points at paper in middle of table)
“It’s a good plan, unlike most of our other ideas.”
GM: “It’s a very old lady.”
Player: “How many cats?”
“Shin her, dude, she’s an old woman.”
“That’s exactly why I’m NOT shinning her.”
“I’ve had to burn my favourite clothes and now I’m dressed like a Debenhams model.”
“After ten minutes a text message arrives: ‘You’re having breakfast first, aren’t you?’ ”
“I believe the correct term is ‘open a can of police brutality on her ass’.”
“These are my birthday dice; I won’t have a word said against them!”
(even though they rolled an impressive amount of 1:s? Gasp!)
“I feel good about this session. At least I got to be a bit badass.”
“I don’t think decking old ladies counts as being badass.”
“Plus the boot is full of crap.”
“You meant that literally, didn’t you?”
“They’re extra teeth! You can bite people at a distance with them!”
Finn: “We’ll throw in a musical number!”
NPC: “Okay then.”
Flora: “Which musical would you like?”
NPC: “Surprise me.”
(Pause)
Flora (singing): “ ‘Go Greased Lightning’ …”
(the positives/negatives of drugs not existing in the Dreaming)
Set: “I don’t have to confiscate glamour.”
Player: “Fair point.”
“You’re more important than me.”
“Aaaawww!”
“How noble, please go ahead.”
“I picked a helluva day to be off drugs.”
“We’ll take a short break before we start snorting brick dust.”
“He’s stolen my Pun Immunity card, there’s no protection against this shit now.”
“This is disturbingly normal. I don’t like it.”
“Count Valdemar, we ate your son! We didn’t know at the time! If only we were Jewish, he’d still be alive!”
“Hold the sign up, it’s gone too far.”
Player: “That’s a disturbingly accurate pig impression.”
GM: “Obviously, I practiced.”
“Does the door slowly creak open?”
“Yes of course, it’s in the Dreaming!”
“It’s like contractually obliged to.”
“Sorry, I flashbacked to The Trapdoor. It does that to me.”
“I can speak proper Latin.”
“Quod Erat Demonstrandum?”
”Soylent pigs are people!”
”Guys … do Changelings dream of enchanted pigs?”
There might (or might not) actually be another round of quotes from this session ... at some point later this week. We shall see. (Depends on time, technology and absense of headaches.) This is it for now, and if nowt else, we're back again next Wednesday!
